Strength
by blue-eyed-gurl88
Summary: Strength isn't about how much you can handle before you break, it's about how much you can handle after you break. Stephanie is past her breaking point. Will life be too much for her or will she prove her strength and survive? Not Joe or Plum family friendly. Rating is just to be safe. It's been decided, it's going to be a Babe HEA : )
1. Chapter 1

Strength isn't about how much you can handle before you break, it's about how much you can handle after you break. Stephanie is past her breaking point. Will life be too much for her or will she prove her strength and survive? Not Joe or Plum family friendly. HEA TBD at this point.

Disclaimer - All the characters you recognize belong to the brilliant Janet Evanovich. I am only playing with them in my own sick and twisted ways. I'll return them good as new in the end, promise!

I'm not sure where this fits with the books so just be warned there could be stuff from any or all of them.

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Chapter 1 - The Beginning of the End

Today is a good day. I woke up before my alarm. I ran four miles without vomiting. I passed the Tasty Pastry without stopping to eat my weight in Boston Cremes. I caught three of my skips without any problems. I was ecstatic as I walked my latest catch into the Trenton Police Department. The officers standing around weren't passing money back and forth. There were no jokes, no rude comments. There were congratulations and adda boy (or girl) being tossed my way. It was a good freaking day.

Me, Stephanie Plum, bounty hunter extraordinaire was having a good day. I was shocked. After starting the job with my weasel cousin Vinnie I haven't had the best of luck. I'm not what you'd call a normal bounty hunter. I'm 5'7 of Italian and Hungarian hormones. We're not even going to discuss my weight, but I've got long brown curls that have a mind of their own and what some say the bluest eyes they've ever seen. I'm not muscular or athletic, and probably shouldn't be doing this job. I'm constantly rolling in garbage or getting covered in questionable substances. My cars also get blown up at an alarming rate. I've been kidnapped, shot, stabbed, burned, stalked, tortured; but not today. Today I was a badass.

Of course the saying came to mind "it's always calmest before the storm," but I quickly pushed that out of my mind as I sashayed my happy ass to my boyfriends office.

I have been seeing Detective Joe Morelli off and on for years. Joe's six foot of lean, hard muscle and hot Italian libido, has the best ass in the state, and he's all mine. I've known him my entire life and he was my first in many ways. At 6 he was the first to explore my body. At 16 he was the first to taste my body and then he was the first to make me scream his name in ecstasy. He is my first love. He's been a good friend when I've needed one. We have a history and from the looks of things, a good future.

We recently started a serious on phase and have been getting along rather nicely. He has finally accepted my job as a bounty hunter and supports my decisions when I do my job. There's been no yelling or ultimatums given when something happens to me. He even offers to help when he knows I'm going after an aggressive skip. I know he wants to marry me and we've even had some adult conversations about it. I'm not ready for that type of commitment right now, but I'm not freaking out about it either. Maybe someday I'll be ready for marriage and kids, but not today.

I guess the reason for my hesitation to marriage is because of the other man in my life, Ricardo Carlos Mañoso or as the streets calls him, Ranger. Ranger is my sometimes boss, mentor, past lover and a Cuban sex-God. He's close to 6 foot, with mocha-latte skin pulled tight over hard muscles. I call him sex on legs, but that's just me. In the past Joe has had issues with my relationship with Ranger, but he's accepted that I will never cut him out of my life. Ranger is probably my best friend. He's saved my life on more than one occasion and has never once told me to find a different job. He encourages me and I love him. When or if I will admit it to myself, I am IN LOVE with him; but he has made it clear that we will be nothing more than friends. I guess his life doesn't "lend itself to relationships." His words not mine. He was in the special forces and still does dangerous government missions, so I guess I can understand his hesitations. He protects me at all costs, even from himself.

I sometimes work for Ranger at his security company, RangeMan, and the men that work for him have quickly become some of my closest friends too. Ranger's cousin Lester Santos is one of those men. Lester is Puerto Rican and like every other employee is pure muscled perfection. His green eyes sparkle with mischief and his light brown hair begs to have your fingers ran through it. I've always been drawn to him from the moment I met him. He's just easy to talk to and makes me laugh any and every time I need it. I tell him everything. In a way, I guess I love him too. How messed up is that? Gah! I got us off track, let's get back to my incredibly good day.

After turning in my skip, I knocked on Joe's office door and opened it when I heard him grunt. I plastered a big smile on my face ready to share my good day with the man who claimed to love me and stepped through, not quite ready to see what was inside. Joe had Robin Russell, a fellow officer, bent over his desk. As if their lack of clothes wasn't enough to get an idea of the activities, I just happened to walk in during the big finale. What a joy for me.

Flashes of my first, and only, marriage were racing through my head. I found my husband, of only a minute, Dickie Orr in the same position on my dining room table with Joyce Barnhardt, my archenemy. I divorced him soon there after in a battle that is still known in Trenton. Joe knew I hated cheating more than anything and it was a sure fire way to destroy any relationship with me. All I could do is glare at him and Robin and turn out of the office. I didn't want him to see the tears in my eyes. So much for my good day.

"Shit! Cupcake, wait." I heard as I slammed the door closed. My first thought was I had to run, I had to get the hell out of the police department. So I ran. I headed out the door and straight to my car when I heard footsteps running up behind me.

"Stephanie, stop please." Joe yelled as he grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"Joe, if you know what's good for you, you will turn around and walk away. Never talk to me again. Whatever we had is done! I don't put up with cheating bastards. You know that." I stated calmly praying the tears held back.

"I'm sorry Steph, I don't know what happened. One minute we were talking about a case and the next she was kissing me. I couldn't stop myself. Please don't throw us away because of a slip-up. I love you, Cupcake. You know that."

He turned his chocolate bed room eyes loose on me as he caressed my face lovingly. Those eyes had gotten me to do more things than I care to admit. I could forgive, right? Maybe I needed to be better in the sex department, maybe it was my fault. WAIT...what the hell am I thinking?

"I don't know anything, Joe. What you did, is not love. Love doesn't act like that. Love could have controlled itself. Love doesn't hurt the person it claims to care about." The tears fell freely, not out of sadness but out of anger. I always cry when I'm mad. I was raising my voice as I spoke, but couldn't control the rage I was feeling. Joe brought his other hand down from my face and gripped my other arm.

"You need to release my arms now, Joe. You need to turn around and head back into the station and you will NEVER speak to me again. This charade, that we call a relationship, ends now! You obviously don't care enough about me to keep your dick in your pants, so you need to back the fuck away from me NOW!"

I saw the spark of anger in Joe's eyes when I said he didn't care. I saw something snap inside him. He tightened his grip on my arms and pushed me back into the closed car door leaning his body against mine. I could feel every hard muscle pressed against me.

"This will never be over, Cupcake. You will be mine." Joe seethed and the anger and venom in his words scared me. There was a different look in his eyes as he spoke to me.

"You think it's easy for me to see you with Mañoso and his goons? I know you're fucking all of them, so why is it okay for you and not me?" His voice was whisper soft with his mouth right next to my ear. An on looker wouldn't see an angry man holding a woman captive, they would see two lovers in an embrace.

"Joe, you know nothing is going on between me and Ranger or his men. We are friends. You of all people should understand my feelings on infidelity. You were there for the Dickie fall out. Remember, or did you think just because you are a Morelli that you get a free pass? Well, guess what Joe, you don't. I'm done. Now let me go." His grip only tightened. I was going to have bruises tomorrow. Great. The look on his face was pure rage and anger as he sneered at me.

"Well, Cupcake," he spat out, spit flying from his mouth "if I can't have you then no one will. You think about that before you throw me away. You WILL be MINE." The pain in my arms was almost unbearable as he squeezed harder.

"I'll come by your apartment tonight and we'll finish this conversation." Joe pressed a bruising kiss to my lips as he released me and pushed away from me. From instinct I raised my hand and slapped him hard across his face. He chuckled rubbing a hand over his cheek.

"I'll see you later, Cupcake. You can count on that" was his parting words as he sauntered back into the building.

I stood beside my car for a minute before shaking myself from the fear that had enveloped me. I have never seen Joe act that way. Sure he's yelled and been angry, but he's never gotten physical.

I know his dad was a mean drunk and would beat his kids and wife, but Joe had worked to be better than his father. He had succeeded in not just becoming another Morelli. The sadness I felt in the realization that he hadn't succeeded after all was too much and I started to sob.

I could feel my heart break a little for the relationship that was ending today. All of my dreams and all the memories we shared poured from my eyes as I stood outside the TPD. The fear started to seep in when I remembered Joe's finial warning to see me later. Surely he wouldn't really show up and hurt me, but I was still scared of him nonetheless. I had to get away and I couldn't go to my apartment. He might show up there. I got into my latest pile of shit and drove to the one place where I felt safe. RangeMan.

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A/N - This is my first multi-chapter fan fiction so let me know what you think. I've gotten about 13 chapters so far and it is my goal to update at least every other day. Hope you all stick with me and enjoy my ramblings!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - Thank you all for the likes, follows and reviews! Your encouragement means more that you might know. Here's the next installment. As normal, I own nothing and will return them back to their rightful places when I'm done playing with them.

The story is leading me so I'm not sure if it will be a Babe or Beautiful ending. Ranger and Les are fighting it out right now. I think Ranger is winning, but I'm not willing to say for sure. : )

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**Chapter 2 - Weakening of the Heart**

As I drove away from the police department with tears streaming down my face, I realized that I probably shouldn't just go to RangeMan looking like I did. Ranger and the guys are a little over protective of me and I doubt Joe would stand a chance up against 4 of the biggest guys in the city.

The A-Team, as I call them, are the core group that makes up RangeMan. The management, if you will. Ranger is CEO and first in command. Next comes Tank, appropriate name because he is just as big as a tank. He's the second in command and Ranger's best friend. They served in the Army together and have been connected ever since. He takes over the running of the company when Ranger is "in the wind", or off working a government operation.

After Tank is Lester, he is a playboy and continuous flirt, but I love him in spite of that. He does everything he can to push Ranger's buttons and usually get's called to the mats because of his joking. Ranger put him in charge of Client Relations because of his winning people skills. He can charm the pants off a nun if he put his mind to it.

Last, but not least we have Bobby Brown. He was never married to a famous person or starred in movies, but he could have. He's the company medic and in charge of all things medical in the building. He has patched me up on more than one occasion. These 4 guys will do anything for me and if they knew what happened today, Joe would be dead. So I can't go to the building just yet. I have to give myself time to calm down.

So where can I go? My apartment is out because of Joe's threat. RangeMan is out because of the guys killing Joe if they found out about the episode earlier. The only place left that I wanted to go was the bonds office. I knew Lula and Connie would still be there and would help cheer me up.

Pulling up outside the office, I glanced around before getting up and heading inside. I usually come bearing gifts of doughnuts or other greasy fat filled substances. When I came in empty handed I wasn't welcomed like normal.

"Damn girl. Where's my dinner? I was just about to call you and see if you would stop and get some chicken on your way over here" Lula yelled from her post on the couch.

Lula was a 5'6" plus size African American woman who tried to squeeze her size 16 body into size 10 spandex. You know the type; when she pulls the tights out of the drawer they are red, but by the time she gets them on they're pink from all the stretching. I'm afraid she's testing the strength of the fabric today. She likes to match her hair with her outfit, which today was a not so bright yellow spandex top and matching micro mini skirt. Her hair, bright neon yellow curls. She has big boobs and an even bigger personality. She's her own person and doesn't care about the opinions of others.

She was a "working girl" and almost killed because of me. I found her on my fire escape almost dead and saved her I guess. She attached herself to me after that and we've become close friends. I can always count on her to tell it like it is.

"Sorry Lula. I wasn't thinking I guess." I said as I threw my purse on the couch beside her and plopped down. "My mind isn't functioning at 100% right now."

"Shit girl, yo mind is never at 100%. Let me guess, problems with super cop? You have that look that you get when the two of you have a fight." She glared at me with suspicious eyes. "What do you think Connie? Our girl, here don't look too happy, do she?"

"Nope, she doesn't. What's going on Steph? Last I heard you and Joe were doing really good. He was even seen buying a ring." Connie smiled as she filed her nails.

Connie is Vinnie's secretary and looks like Betty Boop only with bigger hair. She's got Family connections and has the attitude to go with it. Her and Lula have always been good friends of mine and probably the number one contributors to the Burg grape vine. The burg-vine is the source of gossip around Trenton and has done it's share of spreading stories about me. Anything and everything gets talked about on the burg-vine, so if Connie heard Joe was buying a ring it was more than likely true.

"Ring, my ass. Who's size was it, mine or Robin's?" I shot back.

"Who's Robin? Oh wait, Robin Russell? The cop he be banging? Girl, we thought you knew about that. That just a man thing, you know he loves you." Lula said laughing.

"If I was you I would jump on that man and never let go. You know how lucky you are? Subway be the only place I can go and ask for a 12 inch Italian and not sound like a slut. Girl, you got the Italian in yo bed and I would feast on that salami all day!" Connie nodded her head in agreement. Seriously, they thought that cheating was okay?

"What the hell? You guys knew about Robin and didn't feel I should be informed? You two of all people know my disgust in cheating assholes." I said getting a little angry with my so called friends.

"Sorry Steph, we just assumed you knew. It's been going on since before you and Joe got together this last time. I thought he would stop when you got engaged. You know how men can be." Connie shrugged her shoulders and continued to file her nails.

"Let me guess, Steph" Connie snorted, sounding disgusted "you found out and broke up with him? How long is this break going to last?" She rolled her eyes at the end for an added emphasis of annoyance.

I was shocked. Is this what my friends thought of me? I know my life's been a joke but I thought they understood my feelings on this subject. Guess not.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence guys. I didn't only just find out. I walked into his office to find her bent over his desk and them both singing the hallelujah chorus." The anger continued to bubble in my voice. "I can't believe you two would think I would take the cheating bastard back. I thought you knew me better than that." My voice cracking echoing the hurt that I felt in my heart. My two friends, people who claimed to care, were laughing about my heartbreak and acting like it's no big deal. What the fuck?

"Wait! You walked in on them?" Lula laughed loudly then turned serious. "Did you get a picture? I always wanted to see that man's salami." I guess she sensed my anger because she quickly got serious. "Girl, it's not that we don't believe in you, per say. It's just you guys do this all the time. You break up, you get back together. It's what you do. Why would this time be different?"

"This is much different. HE. CHEATED. ON. ME. I didn't put up with my dick of a husband cheating, why am I going to put up with him?" I yelled pronouncing every word as Connie and Lula looked shocked. "Besides; Joe decided to push his anger too far. He grabbed me and bruised my arms. He also made some crazy threats. I'm not letting him hurt me again."

Lula didn't look convinced. She rolled her eyes saying, "Damn it girl. You get a little bruise and think it's the end of the world. It will be okay. He'll apologize and you'll take him back."

"Why? Why would I take him back?" I demanded my friends to tell me.

"Because he's HOT!" Connie said fanning herself, "You can't do much better than super cop. Unless you think Batman's going to give you a go."

Lula and Connie have dubbed Ranger my own personal Batman. They think there's more to our relationship than there really is, but they are too afraid of Ranger to ask him personally. I let them believe whatever they want.

"Ranger isn't an option and has no bearing on my decision to dump Joe. My relationship with him is over for good. No more going back. I told him all this at the station earlier." I stood and got ready to leave. I couldn't stand to be around the girls anymore. "I really don't need to listen to this shit from you two. My bullshit meter is full, so I'm done. Have a nice night."

"Sorry Steph, we just call it like we see it. You'll go back to him" was the last thing I heard from Connie as I walked out the door.

Would I go back? Could he talk his way back into my bed or heart? I needed space, I needed to think. I wanted to tell be able to convince myself that I would never go back to Joe, but the girls were right.

They've seen me and Joe go back and forth so many times, but they should know my determination when I put my mind to something. I've never had a good reason to end things permanently with Joe. I sure as hell do now. Why can't they just understand that? Why did they have to put this doubt into my head, and why did it feel like I just lost two friends? I guess I wouldn't call someone who didn't believe in my determination and didn't support my decisions a friend.

I needed to talk to someone I could trust to give it to me straight and not hold back. I needed my grandma. She's stood by me many times in the past when others haven't. I think I remind her of a younger self sometimes. She'll tell me what's what in my stupid fucked up life.

Of course, that meant also seeing my parents which wasn't high on my list of a good time. Unlike my grandma, my mom never supported what I wanted. It was her way or the highway. Since my grandma lived in my childhood home with my parents I knew I had to deal with them to talk to her. Sucking it up, I turned my car around and headed into the heart of the burg to my parents house.

I grew up in the Chambersburg section of Trenton and my parents still live in the same house that they bought right after they got married. That's what people did in the burg. Got married, got a house, had kids, raised kids. The fathers worked hard to support the families and the wives worked hard running the homes. Working mother's were not common or welcome in a place like the burg.

That is why I got out of there as fast as I could and try my hardest not to go back. I don't want to be a "burg wife". I don't want to stay home and raise kids and cook my husband dinner. I have different ideas of where my life should go.

My mother is the biggest critic about my life. Nothing I do is good enough in her mind because it's not leading me to the marriage and 2.5 kids that she thinks all women should want. That is all she wants for me and for my life, but I want something different. I want to fly.

I pulled up outside the house and saw my mom waiting for me on the porch, another annoying burg gift is knowing when your offspring are close. From the look on her face, she wasn't happy. That could only mean that the burg-vine had been going since my disagreement with Joe. Damn, I was hoping to avoid this shit right now.

Getting out of my car, I walked with my head down up the porch and waited for the onslaught of negativity to start. 5...4...3...2...

"Stephanie Michelle Plum. Can you tell me why you were seen slapping your fiancé outside the police department?" Her shrill voice met my ears before I met the first step. Well, that didn't take long, I didn't get to one. Sigh, here goes nothing.

"Mom, first...Joe isn't my fiancé, we just started dating again. Second...I caught him with another woman so I think the slap was justified, don't you?" I said on a long sigh. I knew this wasn't going to be good.

"Justified? Him sleeping with someone else is what was justified. Joe told me that you've been cold to him since starting back your relationship. What did you expect?" my mom said as she directed me into the kitchen. I'm not sure what made me follow her, good old Catholic guilt and a desire to please her I guess. I knew I was walking into my death.

"A man like Joseph has needs and you weren't filling them, so he had to go somewhere else. That is your fault, not his and it doesn't mean he loves you any less." I can't believe she's saying this.

"Don't think for a second that I'm going to allow you to ruin this like you did your marriage to Dickie. Myrna Solkoff's daughter didn't leave her husband when he slept with his secretary. Why does my daughter have to be so difficult?" She ended her rant with arms flailing in the are and her eyes glaring daggers at me.

"I guess I'm difficult because I think when you LOVE someone, it means more than just 4 letters. Words have meanings, mother. I don't think the meaning of love is screwing around with someone else; and love certinaly isn't hurting the person physically. I'll have bruises from Joe after today."

I was angry and my voice rose with every word so by the end I was yelling, but couldn't stop myself from continuing. I had been pushed entirely too far by Joe and the girls to hold my tongue.

"Excuse the fuck out of me if I think LOVE means more than what Joe showed me today. Is that your definition of love? Abuse and cheating? I don't think so. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I guess you can get the fuck over it because certain people have disappointed me today too, you being one of them."

"Honestly, Stephanie. If you didn't have this rebellious attitude, then Joseph wouldn't have to get physical. You push people to their limit sometimes, you always have." The distain dripping from her words hurt. "You were never an easy child. You push and you push and then you get hurt. That again is all on you. You deserved whatever Joe gave you."

"So you're saying it's my fault that my boyfriend abused me? Are you so fucking twisted in the head that you think that is okay behavior?" I couldn't believe my mother would think I deserved this. Am I that bad of a person? Again I couldn't control the volume of my voice and something in me just snapped.

"You know what? Fuck you. I am better than that. I deserve better than that." She snorted but I continued.

"If you think for one-second that I'm going to forgive and forget then you are sadly mistaken. You can go to hell if you think I'm EVER going to marry Joe fucking Morelli. I don't need to put up with your shit any longer."

"Young lady, you will watch your language in my house!" My father's booming voice came from the back door. He was always quiet and never said much so when he did, you took notice. "You will also treat your mother with a little bit of respect. I won't tolerate your attitude any longer."

My father was always my biggest supporter growing up. I would help him fix the cars and he would take me fishing. He was at every recital, band performance and sporting event that I participated in. We spent many days watching our favorite sports on TV. Something happened after I turned 16 and he became like a stranger to me. He refused to talk to me and wouldn't even look at me some days. I didn't understand it, but I lived with his decision to alienate me as best I could. I was always pleasant with him, never got angry. Well, the pleasantries end today.

"Gee dad, I always thought you had to earn respect to get it, and as far as I'm concerned neither of you deserve my respect. How can you stand there and tell me that what this bitch is saying is right? That I deserved to get cheated on and abused by the man who was supposed to love me. I thought you had better values than that."

I never saw his hand come up and slap me across the face, but I sure as hell felt it. With tears in my eyes and a stinging cheek, I watched as my angry father glared at me with hatred in his eyes, his voice full of determination and disdain.

"You will get out of my house, NOW! You will not be welcomed here until you can ditch the attitude and pull your head out of the clouds. You made your bed with Morelli when you were 16 and now it's time to lay in it. Marry him and become what a good girl is supposed to be or you no longer are welcome here. I can't believe that my little girl has turned into this slut that I see before me now. You make me sick."

I was shocked. I guess I know what happened to turn my father against me. As a parting gift before Joe left for the Navy, he filled many bathrooms with crude poems about our encounter. I knew my dad would find out, but I never knew he would hate me for it. I thought a parents love was supposed to be unconditional. I guess not.

My heart ached. I knew I was losing my family at that moment because I would never marry Joe. With the last amount of energy I had, I looked at my parents and said, "If that's how you feel, then I guess this is good bye" and I turned and walked out of the house.

The tears fell. There was no stopping them. The most disappointing thing was that I never even got to talk to my grandma. I know she would have taken my side, at least I would like to think so. I guess I'll never know. Maybe I'll call her later.

I got into my car and decided I needed to go to RangeMan. I needed a family. The guys were the only family that I had left and I needed them more than anything. I needed to feel the comfort of unconditional love. I needed someone to hold me and tell me that I was doing the right thing and that it would all be okay. I turned my car around and headed toward the Haywood office.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N - Thank you all for the likes, follows and reviews! Your encouragement means more that you might know. I'm sorry if I've missed responding to your reviews. My muse decided to she wanted to change this story after having 15 chapters written, so I've had to go back and do some heavy duty editing. I've been working double time to catch up to where I was. I hope I get to them later tonight.

As normal, I own nothing and will return all of the characters back to their rightful places when I'm done playing with them. Maybe I'll keep a few for my own entertainment!

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**Chapter 3 - Shattered**

RangeMan. My safe haven. I've ran to this building so many times when I've been in trouble. I've hidden out in Ranger's seventh floor apartment when I had an entire gang after me. I thought for sure that he would throw me out when he found me sleeping in his bed, but he just crawled in with me and held me while I slept. I feel so safe in his arms.

When the FTA's are slow at Vinnie's and my cupboards are bare, Ranger gives me a job here. All of the guys claim that my skills as a research analyst are amazing. Even though I think it's just flattery, it's still good to hear that I'm good at something. The men that work here are more than just friends, they are family. My chosen family would never treat me like my real family has today. They love me unconditionally and would do anything for me. I, in return, love them just the same way and would give my life to protect them.

Some of the best people in the world live and work in this building. They don't think they deserve to be treated with respect and honor because what they've done in their past in the name of service to their country. Watching them open up to me has been such a blessing. They are such great men and it's a shame that they don't let the world see what I see. They deserve so much more than what they think. Of all the men here though, the best is Ranger. He is the reason I am here right now.

I know, deep down, that Ranger and I will never be anything but friends; but that doesn't stop my heart from reaching out to him. I know that he is the love of my life and I would give anything for him to feel the same way. Alas, he doesn't and I'm willing to take whatever part of him that he gives me. If it's just friends, then that's what I'll take. I know he wants to move our relationship into the "friends with benefits" direction, but I can't do casual.

I won't deny that the sexual attraction between us is there and is hot. I mean, if you saw this man, you would understand. The few times that we have been together have been nothing short of freaking amazing! So why am I so hesitant to jump in bed with him? Fear.

I am so entirely in love with him that there is no way I would be able to survive just a casual relationship. My heart is too invested and I would become too attached and dependent the second I let myself. Then, when he was done with me and ended the relationship it would destroy me. He holds my entire heart in his big hand and he doesn't know it. If he crushes it, I won't survive.

So because I'm a coward and won't just admit my feelings to him I take the friendship that he offers. I take the security that his arms offer me and I pray that he never pulls totally out of my life. This place and this man are all I have left.

I pulled my car into my spot, that always seems to be left open for me, and parked right beside Ranger's big black Navigator. All of his cars are black, expensive, and fully loaded with more bells and whistles than the president's car.

A small smile spread to my lips remembering the cars of Ranger's that I've blow up or have gotten stolen. You would be amazed about the total number, it's recorded somewhere, but I'm too embarrassed to ask. One would think that after I flattened his Porsche Turbo like a pancake, he would learn to keep his cars away from me. Nope. He still hands me key after key and then smiles after his cars get destroyed. Crazy man.

The weight of today's events slammed into me as I sat quietly in my car. What started out as a good day, an amazing day, turned to hell fast.

My cheating ass boyfriend showed his true colors and left bruises on each of my arms. Nothing should surprise me about Joe, but today did. He's tried so hard not to become like his womanizing abusive father. He failed today and I will not forgive or forget it. I will not be going back to him. As sad as it is, I could have forgiven the cheating but the second he put his hands on me in anger, that was the end. I will not be his punching bag.

Lula and Connie shocked the shit out of me. I was blindsided by their comments. Two people who claimed to be friends showed that they have no faith in me or respect for my decisions. They would rather see me with a cheating abusive boyfriend than happy and alone. I have a sneaky suspicion that they just want a front row seat for all the gossip that my life evokes. I've been their source of juicy gossip for years, but that ends today.

Nothing surprises me about my mom. I've always been a disappointment to her so it wasn't shocking that she blamed me for everything that happened with Joe. My dad did surprise me. How can the two people who created me and who are supposed to love me be so damn cruel? How can they think that I deserved to be treated so poorly? Am I not good enough for someone to truly love?

The mark on my cheek stung when the fat salty tears poured out of my eyes. I glanced out my window, surprised that no one has came down to the garage yet.

I know the control room saw me pull in and usually I get greeted at the elevator by at least a few of my Merry Men. I know Lester is in Miami still. He never did tell me why he left so suddenly. Just said that the office down there needed him. I could really use him right now too, but the other Merry Men will be good enough. I just wonder where they all are. Maybe they're all in a meeting.

First things first though, I have to find Ranger. His arms are the only place I feel safe and I'm in desperate need of safety right now. I never wanted to be one of those weak willed females that are constantly needing someone to save her. I always wanted to be strong and stand on my own two feet; but there was something different in Joe's eyes today. I truly believe that Joe will try to hurt me again and as much as I hate to admit it, I am scared. I hate feeling scared.

Climbing out of my car, I couldn't help feel a sense of calmness. No one could hurt me hear, I was safe. I was home. At least, that's what I thought.

I walked silently to the stair well. I figured a few more minutes off camera would help me get my emotions in check. The elevator would be a slow ride in front of the control room to see. I know there are cameras in the stairs too, but I can take my time climbing and gather my thoughts.

I opened the stair well door and started my climb to the fifth floor, but nothing could prepare me for what I heard. Tank's booming voice echoed off the walls and he sounded a little past annoyed.

"You know Bossman, I think it's time you cut this woman loose. It's awfully pathetic how she only shows up when she needs something. Can't she handle her own shit sometimes? She's got the skills, but plays stupid just to get close to you. We all know she loves you, but DAMN...can't she take a hint that you're obviously not interested in her?"

I froze still on the bottom step. Were they're talking about me? They have to be talking about me. I come here to feel safe and because I know that Ranger will protect me. Ranger's helped me more times than I care to admit, but he's never hinted that it was an inconvenience or that he didn't like doing it.

I thought I masked my feelings fairly well. I guess I'm more transparent than I thought. They've known all along how I've felt about Ranger. I thought he cared at least a little bit about me. I know he's not wanting a relationship, but there was always something between us. At least I thought there was.

"I know what you mean. I just don't know how to tell her to get lost without hurting her. She's been a drain on this company for years. God, how do I find these women?" Ranger's words tore through my heart. I know I've been a drain on the company sometimes, but he's always said that there was no price for what we give each other. He's always been happy to help me.

"I don't know where you find them, but you've got to stop. You seem to attract all the crazy women and if you're going to start a relationship with you know who, then this crazy bitch needs to go. You can't have her hanging around when you start your life. She needs to understand that it's over for good. I can see her wrecking your wedding if she thought you'd pay her the least bit of attention. Bitch is crazy."

Another pain surged through my heart. Ranger was starting a relationship with someone else. He told me that his life didn't lend itself to relationships and that his love came with a condom, not a ring. He wants to get rid of me to be with someone else. It's not that he doesn't do relationships, it's that I'm not good enough to be the one he wants.

The pain I felt was unbearable. I wasn't even breathing normal at this point. All I could do was listen in horror as they continued talking as they came down the stairs.

"Just be thankful that Lester is still in Miami. He's gotten sick of her shit too and he's not one to bite his tongue. He's wanted you to kick her to the curb for years. We were just talking about her earlier today and laughing about the pathetic job she did last week. How can she think he still likes her? Sad really."

What did I do to piss off Lester? He and I have gotten really close. We are best friends. Aren't we? What happened last week? I had one incident of garbage rolling when I picked up Harry French, but I didn't think the guys new about that.

"Speaking of Lester, I called him back up here to help you when I'm gone. He should be back later tonight, but she'll be gone by then. I don't want him to cause a scene in the building. He might shoot her if he sees her here. I know all of the guys will be thrilled that she's done with RangeMan. They are just as sick of her as we are." Ranger stopped at the lobby door and took a deep breath. He was centering himself for the task. "All right, Tank. Let's take out this trash so I can get on with my life. I'm ready to move on." That was the last thing I heard before the lobby door closed.

A sob escaped my throat that I couldn't hold back. I wasn't wanted here anymore. Why were they just pretending to tolerate me if they didn't really want me in their lives? I was just like a piece of garbage that you toss out when you're done with it. Use me and then toss me away.

The crack that started in my heart earlier just shattered. The pain was like a million knives stabbing me in the chest. My heart was laying in pieces and there was no repairing it this time. I honestly have nothing left, no one who gives a damn about me. I turned and walked numbly to my car. I had no where left to go. My safe haven is gone. Now what do I do?

I turned and looked one more time at the building that I have come to know as my true home with my true family and felt such a huge feeling of loss that I didn't think I could stand up anymore.

I collapsed into my car and slowly pulled out of the garage. I let the gut wrenching sobs explode from my body. I had to pull over around the corner out of range of the cameras because I couldn't see to drive. I was shaking with tears raining uncontrolled down my face. The pain was unbearable.

For the first time in my life, I was truly all alone. I had no one left in my life who cared about me. That realization hurt more than you can know. I laid my head down on my steering wheel and let the tears flow as I sobbed. It's the only thing I could do right now. The only thing I wanted to do was to run back in the building to Ranger's arms, but he didn't want me there anymore.

I could survive Joe being an ass, I could survive my friends and my parents betrayal. I can't survive this. I don't want to survive this.

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A/N - Please don't kill me. I know you all were hoping for a warm welcome but it just wasn't in the cards right now. TRUST ME...it will be a HEA and I've decided that it will be a BABE. Ranger kicked Lester's ass. Steph's going to have to work through some tough stuff before we get there though. Sometimes when something is broken, it's better to completely take it apart it and then put it back together. Then you can decide which parts are necessary and which aren't. It's going to take some work to rebuild Steph. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: Dark subject matter ahead. Stephanie isn't in a good place in her life and makes a choice that so many others have made. It's not pleasant to talk about, but it's real. Some might say this is OOC, so this is your warning if you don't like anything other than cannon.

I own nothing, as usual, and don't gain anything from writing. Except the wonderful reviews of my readers! You guys make my day with your reviews. Keep em coming!

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**Chapter 4 - Emptiness**

The pain was paralyzing. I sat in my car around the corner of RangeMan. I couldn't drive, I couldn't breath, I couldn't think. All I could do was feel, and all I felt was pain. Indescribable paralyzing pain. Pain that I have never felt before in my entire life. My heart was laying in pieces in my chest. I would never be able to put it back together.

In the span of a few hours I had lost everything. My boyfriend (even though he was an ass), my friends, my family and the love of my life. What did I have left? I had absolutely nothing left in my life. So what's the point of living?

I finally got myself calmed enough to make it home to my one bedroom apartment. It was meagerly furnished with second-hand furniture that didn't match. The couch I got from Goodwill was lumpy and smelled like a nursing home. There were no pictures on the walls, nothing to make it mine.

Not that I'm Martha freaking Stewart, but I thought my house with the Dick was decorated nicely. There were mementos and personal touches scattered throughout the house and everything matched. Here is just crap. Even though this has been home for years, I've never noticed how unbelievable boring and dull it was. That's the story of my life. Boring, dull and empty.

This realization only made me realize the further sad state of my existence. My hamster, Rex, had died last year so I didn't even have him to welcome me home anymore. All that welcomed me was deep quiet emptiness. It's weird to say, but the silence was deafening.

I'm alone and always will be. Why am I not good enough for someone to love? The people who claim to love me sure as hell don't show it with their actions. The one person who showed love in his actions, didn't want a relationship with me. Ranger was always there showing me that he cared. Whether it was with cars, a job, protection, or just a damn hug. He was always there when I needed him. So why couldn't he love me, but don't even love myself, so why would I expect anyone else to?

How could I be so stupid as to think that Ranger could have feelings for me? I mean it's Ranger. He was a successful business owner and a decorated military hero. He is rich and powerful and can have any woman that he wants. Why the hell would he want someone like me? I'm not good enough to kiss the shoes that he wears, let alone any other body part.

How could I let myself fall in love with him? He never once offered me anything except friendship and a roll in the sack when I was weak. He's warned me time after time that he'll never be able to commit to me, but he's still wiling to sleep with me. Is that's all I'm good for? A quick fuck? No relationships, no love, no commitment.

I collapsed on my couch as the pain filled me again. The sobs were uncontrollable. I let the tears flow from my eyes. I had no fight left in me to hold them back, and I really didn't care how weak I appeared at that moment. I just wanted it all to end.

I wanted the pain to end, I didn't want to think anymore about my pathetic life. In fact, I wanted out of my pathetic life altogether. I needed to get away and my normal place of escape, denial land, wasn't big enough for this heartbreak. I needed a permanent escape, but could I do that? Could I really end my life?

My sobbing subsided and I was starting to doze off when I heard the locks tumble on my door. Fear shot through me, thinking it was Joe, but then I smelled the unmistakable scent of Ranger and felt the tingle at the base of my neck. I could always tell when he was near, but why was here now? What could he possibly want?

Oh yeah, he wanted to talk to me at RangeMan, but I left before he could. He was coming to end everything. I can't hear that he's getting rid of me again. I can't hear he's moving on. I have to make him leave before he says what he's here to say. I have to protect what's left of my heart, which isn't a whole lot.

I felt my traitorous heart skip a beat when he appeared in my living room looking oh so sexy in his all black bad ass uniform and questioning look on his handsome face. I looked directly into his eyes and just drank the sight of him in. I wanted one last look at the man I loved. One last look to last me for the rest of my life. I knew that after tonight I would never see his face again.

With the realization that this was the last time I would see or talk to him, a surge of sadness rushed through me and I closed my eyes so he couldn't read the thoughts behind them. He could always see what I was thinking and I didn't want him to see these thoughts. These thoughts belonged only to me. If he saw them, he could stop them. He could save me, and I don't think I want to be saved.

"Babe?" That one word said everything. This time he was asking what was wrong and what he could do to help. He approached the couch, but knowing that this was probably going to be a goodbye visit, I stood up and held my hand up to stop his approach. His questioning gaze fell on me again as the tears began to stream down my face.

"Don't. Please. I'm not ready to talk. Just leave and let me be alone." That was all I could get out between sobs. It was breaking my heart to shut him out of my life. He was always the one I went to when I was scared or in trouble or lost, but that was before today. Before I learned that he never really cared at all.

Ranger stepped closer and tried to pull me into his embrace. I can't let him touch me. If he touches me, if he hold me in his arms then it will be over. I will break and tell him everything.

There were emotions on his normally blank face, but I couldn't make any of them out. They passed so quickly for me to decipher them. I didn't know exactly why he was in my apartment, but after hearing him and Tank I knew it wasn't going to be anything that I wanted to hear. I just wanted him to leave so I could finally end my misery. End the pain.

I was able to dodge his arms and backed myself into the corner and crouched down bringing my knees up to my chest. I buried my head into my legs, wrapping my arms around my knees and cried. I know I'm probably confusing Ranger, but it was the only thing I could think of to let him know that I really needed him to leave. I usually ran to him when I was upset, now...I closed myself off from him. I knew he would understand the meaning behind my actions.

I looked directly in his eyes as I spoke. I let every emotion I was feeling come out in my harsh words.

"I'm only going to ask one more time, Ranger. Please leave, now. I don't want or need you here." The anger in my voice was clear and the hurt that flashed on his face was brief, but it was there and I saw it. Why the fuck was he hurt? He was the one here to destroy me. He had no right to be hurt.

"Okay Babe. If that's what you really want. I was just going to say goodbye, I'm going to be out of town for a while. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but we will need to talk when I do get back." He paused to look at me trying to read my emotions, but I kept them hidden. I had a blank face too and just stared at him with empty eyes. He sighed and looked so sad before he schooled his face back to the blank mask that I was used to seeing.

"Please call Tank if you need anything." Then he turned and walked towards the door. He never turned around to spare another glance. Never paused to think about the destruction that he was leaving behind. He showed no remorse or guilt about abandoning me.

A part of me wanted to tell him to wait, to ask him to love me. A small part wanted to admit that I loved him and didn't want him to go, but that part stayed silent as I watched him opened my door. He was probably going to his new Babe. He had to get rid of me to start a life with her. That's what this visit was all about. A necessary stop to take out the trash. I was just like an annoying gnat that won't leave you alone at a picnic.

"Babe," was the last thing he said to me as he walked out of the door and out of my life, forever. The slam as he closed the door was so permanent, so...final. That was the last I would see of Ricardo Carlos Mañoso, my love. Again the indescribable paralyzing pain came. Pain that starts deep in your soul and just makes you want to die.

My relationship with Ranger was one-hundred percent over. He was gone and moving on to someone who deserved him. He would be happy in his new life and would never know how bad I hurt. How empty I felt when he left. I didn't want to live without Ranger in my life, I honestly don't think I could. I wouldn't really be living if I tried. He was my life, the air that I breath, my heart, my everything.

How does one live without their love? How does one go on when there is no one beside them to encourage and to support them? How can I act like nothing happened today and that everything is fine? In short, I can't. I can't go on.

I felt so empty. The places that were once occupied by the important people in my life were bare and desolate. My heart and soul were filled with giant holes and I had no clue on how to go about making them whole again. The people who I need to complete me are no longer an option. I was honestly and truly alone. Not a good feeling to have, trust me. It was the empty feeling that pushed my mind to the dark thoughts. Thoughts that never wanted to hear again.

The last time these thoughts whispered to me, was after the Dick broke our marriage vows. He ruined the dream that I had, at the time, thought I wanted. He made me a failure in my mothers eyes and thus started her daily berating and demoralizing calls. The thoughts then, were the same as they are now. I was able to silence and ignore them then. Tonight, there was no such luck.

Tonight they were screaming at me. It wasn't the quiet whisper that they were years ago. I had to listen to them, I had no choice. It was all that I heard. There was no shutting them out and they started to make sense. I began to understand their reasoning and I began to agree with their logic. It didn't take long for me to agree fully with them and I began to form a plan. It was there on my living room floor that I realized what I had to do to make the pain and emptiness stop. It was there that my dark thoughts finally got through my stubbornness. They won tonight. I knew what I had to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning:** **Unpleasant subject matter ahead. If you are offended by dark themes, then please don't read this chapter. I will be happy to tell you a summary of what happens if you send me a PM. **

Thank you all for the reviews and favorite/follows. The response to this story has been surprising. It's because of you readers that my muse wakes me up at 3 am to complete the last chapters. Your encouragement has been greatly appreciated! I hope you enjoy the latest chapter. Oh yeah, standard disclaimer...I own nothing.

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**Chapter 5 - Too Much**

I don't know how long I laid there on the floor of my dirty living room. Once the dark thoughts invaded my mind, they refused to leave. They showed me the reason after reason why I had to end it. They proved to me that I had no other options. They showed me a pathetic excuse of existence that I call my life.

The flood gates were open and every memory from the past four years came rushing in. It was like I was watching a movie of my life and it cemented just how much I truly lost today. How much I was never going to get back and how I had absolutely nothing to look forward to.

All of the memories of Joe over the years that we've known each other pissed me off. How could I let him treat me so bad for so long? I should have never let him back into my life after the Tasty Pastry incident. I had been nothing more to him than a glorified fuck buddy. Someone to warm his bed when ever he needed it. He talked a good talk, made it look like he cared, but I never thought he loved me.

I always thought I was strong and independent, but seeing how I ran to Joe just because I didn't want to be alone was sad and pathetic. I knew I didn't want to marry him, but I was terrified to be by myself and settled for him because of that fear. So much for strong and independent. I don't recognize this Stephanie Plum and I don't really like her.

The thoughts of the girls at the bonds office confused me. We had all become such good friends. I thought that they had my back and that I could trust them. I guess loyalty was too much to ask for from them. I thought about all of the skips that Lula and I chased down, and she never really helped me. In fact, it was usually her interference that got me injured or into trouble. She was never there when I needed her. I can see us all eating donuts while gossiping at the office. That was all they want to do. I could give two flips about who's doing who and what. It makes me sad that they gossiped about me all the time. I think they did it to make themselves feel better. Never again will I trust them to have my back. Betrayal like that is something that you just don't bounce back from.

Then there comes the memories of my family. My mother's feelings towards me didn't surprise me. I've never done anything to make her happy. I stopped trying to please her years ago. What did surprise me was my dad's outburst. I thought I had his support. I know if my grandma was there, I could have counted on her. She's been my biggest fan for years now. I'm going to miss her.

How could my parents honestly think that I deserved to be treated like Joe did? Am I that bad of a person that I deserved to be beaten? Deserved to be cheated on? Has my life been reduced to that? According to them, yes. I had gotten just what I deserved. Maybe I did deserve it.

The years with my Merry Men were tortuous to watch. I truly thought they were my friends. We had all gotten so close. The seemed so genuine and I really believed that they cared about me. I don't understand what I did to push them away. Was I too clingy or to emotional? I guess Les left for Miami because of me, but I can't figure out why. I wonder how they'll all feel when they hear about this. Will they be relieved, sad, disappointed? I guess I will never know.

The memories of Ranger were the most painful. Every "Babe", every smile, and every touch were burned into my mind and they screamed at me. Each memory telling me that I will never have them again. I would never hear him call me Babe or feel him tuck a stray curl behind my ear. I would never again feel his arms around me or feel his lips on mine. I would never again feel that tingle on my neck when he was close or smell his unmistakable scent. I would never again feel the passion or the love. While he was off making new memories with someone else, I was here dying inside alone. All I had left of the man that I loved were memories and they would never be enough to satisfy me. I couldn't survive on memories alone.

While I was in my own world of torture, I was unaware of my surroundings. I never heard Joe come into my apartment. I never saw him pick up my handcuffs off the table. I wasn't aware of him until he took my hands and handcuffed them together. He picked me up and carried me into my bedroom with no resistance from me. I didn't have any fight left in me.

"Cupcake, have you been thinking about our little discussion? Don't be upset, my love. I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you." Joe said as he laid me on the bed and handcuffed my bound hands to the headboard with his pair of cuffs and stood back looking at me with sick lust in his eyes. Suddenly I realized what was going to happen and I panicked, but only for a brief second. I realized that I didn't care what happened to me. I don't care that he's going to rape me and probably beat me. Maybe it will help me not think about the true pain in my heart. Physical pain is so much easier to deal with than emotional pain. I'll take a broken arm over a broken heart any day.

"Not going to talk to me, Cupcake. That's okay. You don't have to, yet. I'll take what I came to get. Then we'll talk." Joe sneered as he removed his clothes. He took off my pants and underwear and ripped my shirt off me so he wouldn't have to un-cuff me. Luckily my bra was a front clasp or I assume that would have been torn from my body as well.

"God, you are gorgeous like that. Submissive and all mine." Joe said as he climbed on top of me.

He was rough and it was a painful experience, but I didn't fight. I didn't say no. I didn't do anything except let the tears stream down my face. That's all I could do.

After Joe was finished, he curled up beside me trying to regulate his breathing and stroked my face. His rough finger followed each tear track down my cheek.

"Wow, Cupcake. I know you didn't enjoy that, but I sure as hell did. I'm going to keep these cuffs for the next time," Joe breathed out on a sigh "and there is going to be a next time." There is no way in hell that I was going to let this happen again, and I didn't really think before I spoke.

"There is not going to be a next time Joe." I spat at him. "I told you that I'm done..." That was all I got out before his forearm slammed down against my throat cutting off my air. Joe leaned down and got right into my face. Anger and hatred making his once handsome face ugly and unrecognizable.

"Don't even think about finishing that Cupcake. You will never be done with me. You are mine and always will be. Who do you think will want you now? You are a broken poor excuse for a woman. The only good thing about you is your body and all it's good for is for pleasing me."

Joe released his arm just as I was ready to pass out from lack of oxygen. Black dots swam in my vision as I coughed to bring air back into my lungs. Panic and fear shot through me.

"Face it Cupcake, it's me or no one. You know your place, it's time to just accept it. I'll be good to you, you know that." I knew if I kept pushing Joe, he would continue to abuse me, but I didn't want him to have all that power over me. I knew what I wanted, but I didn't want it to happen this way. Joe would never make it quick if I pushed his buttons too far. He would hurt me and still might not finish what I needed him to. I had to get him to leave so I could finish this myself. I had to give him what he wanted.

"Okay Joe. You win. I'm yours. Whenever you want me." Tears leaked out as I sealed my fate. A very short life of submitting to Joe Morelli, agreeing to whatever he wanted. What he didn't know is that after tonight, he would never see me again. Well, at least not alive that is.

A look of joy spread on his face as he climbed on top of me again. This time he tried to be loving, but it still hurt and still made my stomach turn with guilt and disgust. After he was finished again, he removed the handcuffs from my hands and the bed put both pairs in his pocket after he dressed. I stayed on the bed and pulled the covers around me. I didn't want to be naked in front of him. Before leaving my bedroom, Joe turned and gave me a hard kiss.

"See you later, Cupcake" Joe laughed as he headed out the door. Turning, he gave me one last look and smiled, "The used look is a good one for you. I'll be sure you keep it for the rest of your life."

I waited 10 minutes after hearing the front door close before getting out of bed. I stumbled into the hallway and locked my door. I slid down to the floor and let the tears fall again. It was official. My life was over. There was no going back. If I didn't finish this tonight, then I knew Joe would make good on his promise and come back for me. I didn't want that life.

I pulled myself up with the last bit of energy I had. I knew it was time. I walked into my bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. I didn't recognize the person looking back at me. I didn't see Stephanie Plum, the bombshell bounty hunter. I didn't see the headstrong, exuberant woman who was so full of love and life. I didn't see Beautiful, or Cupcake, or Babe. I saw a broken, empty shell of my former self. I turned from my mirror and walked into my bedroom. I had to leave a note. An explanation. People deserved that at least.

I found my stationary and pulled a sheet from the box. On the top read "From the Desk of Stephanie Plum". I had bought this months ago and never used it. I guess this is as good a time as any.

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_Dear...whoever finds me,_

_Let me start by saying how sorry I am. I know I've disappointed many of you, but you have to understand that I had no choice. I had no options. I had nothing. No one is to blame for what I've become. No one is to be held accountable for this. No one did this to me. I did it to myself. I let myself be the victim for too long and I lost everything. This was my choice. Please, don't be mad at me and especially don't be mad at yourselves. Don't cry for the woman here, she was not who you loved. If you want to cry, cry for the person that I was before today. Cry for the woman that you knew. Remember the good times._

_Remember me as your Cupcake, we had some good times Joe. I hope you find your burg wife. You deserve to find someone who loves you, it was not me. We weren't meant for a life together. I know you'll feel guilty, but don't. You can be someone great, just don't become your father. You are better than that. Let yourself be better than that. I think I brought out the worst in you. Maybe when I'm gone, the old Joe can come back and find someone to love. Love Joe and don't let your past haunt you._

_Remember me as your Bombshell Bounty Hunter. Remember all the cars I blew up, all of the substances that I rolled in. Take care of my "special skips" when you run into them, you know the ones I'm talking about. They are all really good people just like you all are too. Say goodbye to them for me. I hope you boys in blue didn't have a betting pool on this latest tragedy that is my life. If so, I hope someone deserving won it._

_Remember me as your friend. We all had some good times together girls. All the chicken dinners, the donuts, the trips to the bars. Remember our bounty hunting escapades. Keep each other safe and try to find happiness._

_Remember me as your daughter. Not the one who caused you so much pain and disappointment, but as the one that loved you because you were my parents. Remember me as the girl who jumped off the garage because she thought she could fly. Know now, that I am flying. I've accomplished my dream._

_Remember me as your Bomber, Beautiful and Angel. You guys at RangeMan have been there for me when so many others haven't. Stop blaming yourselves guys. You couldn't have stopped me. You can't save me from this. I love each and every one of you. I'm so sorry if I disappointed you. You all taught me so much and gave up parts of yourselves to help me. Thank you for caring enough to open your lives to me. Put yourselves out there for others to see. Don't close the world off from knowing you because you are scared. You are all such wonderful guys it would be a tragedy to keep yourselves hidden. Let yourselves be loved by others._

_Lastly, remember me as your Babe, she was always my favorite. Ranger, you gave me so much support and comfort that I thought I was flying so many times when I was by your side. I thought I could do anything when you were there. I love you with every ounce of my being, but it just wasn't enough. I am so sorry that you couldn't save me this time, but this is not your fault. None of this is because of you. Your Babe was strong and fearless. I'm sorry I couldn't remain that way for you. I hope you find love someday. Let yourself be loved, Ranger. It can't be me to give it to you, but someone will want to one day. You are an amazing man, you sell yourself short in that department. You think you're damaged and shouldn't be anyone's husband. You were my dream of the perfect husband. You were everything I wanted. Everything I needed. I'm sorry I can't be the same to you._

_Again I am so sorry for this; but this woman you see here was not who you thought she was. She was not THE Stephanie Plum. She was broken and weak. I realized earlier that I had no choice. I had to do this. I had nothing left. I lost everything. I lost something today that I could never replace. I lost who I truly was._

_I'm so sorry for hurting you, but it had to be done. I love you all, and I'll see you again...someday..._

_Stephanie, Cupcake, Bomber and Babe_

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I left the letter on the kitchen table with my gun holding it in place. I didn't want it to get lost or blown away. I walked slowly into my bathroom and grabbed the razor that Joe left here the last time he stayed. I'm not sure why he uses a straight razor, I never asked. I know it was a painful and slow way to die, but I knew I would never be able to pull the trigger on the gun. That just wouldn't work. I hate guns.

I sat down on my bed, not bothering with clothes, why would it matter now? I thought one more time about my life. Was there any other way, was I jumping in too fast? Was there something else I could do? I could run, but someone would find me, or would they even look. That would hurt more, knowing that they didn't even care enough to look. Even if I did run, I would still have to deal with this pain. The pain had to end. Decision made. Game over.

This is where my life ends. This is the last few breaths of Stephanie Plum. I pressed the razor to my skin on my left wrist and began to pull up, watching the blood seep from the cut going up my arm. I switched the razor to the other hand and paused when I heard my phone ring. I didn't bother getting up to answer it. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

I drug the razor up the other arm and then watched as the life drained from my broken body. The beautiful life that once was so vibrant, reduced to this. Reduced to dying alone from her own hands. I watched as the blood seeped out and covered my bed, staining everything that it touched. I guess even in death I was making a mess of things. Typical.

The last thing I heard before I closed my eyes for the last time was Lester's voice on my answering machine.

"Beautiful! I just got back from Miami and want to see you. I'm going to stop by in a bit. I hope you're taking a bath, maybe I'll join you." I could hear his eyebrows wiggling and the smile in his voice. He was too good to me. He loved me, I knew that. I loved him and I bet we could have had something really good if I could have forgotten about Ranger. Tears leaked out when I thought about the what-ifs that my life will never get the answer to.

"I'm so sorry Les. You'll be the one to find me" was my last conscious thought. Then the blackness enveloped me and I welcomed its peace. I felt content, I felt determination. I felt nothing else. The pain was finally gone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ask and you shall receive. The response from the last chapter was so overwhelming that I had to update early. I took pity on everyone. I am so glad that you all enjoyed the last chapter. We're still going to be dealing with some dark stuff, but it's no where near what the last two chapters were. Thank you all for your reviews and favorite/follows. Keep them coming!**

**I appologize for causing confusion with how I wrote the suicide note. Even though Stephanie was mad or angry with the people, she still understood that even though they were the catalyst to cause her to end her life, she ultimately had the control. Even if she hated them, she still wanted them to have some peace. I was writing it from a personal experience, and might have been way off.**

**I'm sorry for not getting to all of the reviews yet, that is my goal today. I just want to thank all of you who left a review. They are very much appreciated.**

**Disclaimer...I don't own 'em.**

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**Chapter 6 - Another Chance**

I love to sleep. If sleeping were an Olympic sport, I would hold gold medals. I can sleep anywhere and through anything. My favorite feeling is slowly coming awake after sleeping a full night. Letting my body tell me that I've gotten enough rest and that it's time to get up. That feeling, first thing in the morning (or afternoon), where you stretch and feel so relaxed, so content and calm. That is my favorite feeling. I never expected to feel that again. When I closed my eyes last night, I never expected to open them, yet here I am. Struggling to open my eyes. I don't feel content, calm or relaxed.

All I felt was pain and confusion. First, where the hell am I? I smell a familiar smell. Rubbing alcohol and disinfectants. The beeping of a heart monitor made everything click. Hospital. Great, that means I must be still alive. God, I can't do anything right. I can't even kill myself. I guess I do fuck everything up.

After the realization that I am in fact in a hospital, my next question is why can't I lift my arms? I can feel some sort of soft cuff around each of my writs. I peek through my squinted eye lid and see that both arms are tied to the bed. I also notice a nurse sitting beside me on the right side of the bed. She didn't realize that I was awake and just continued to doodle on a sheet of paper.

I am so afraid to open my eyes. I'm scared to confirm what I already know. I don't want to see the hospital room that I'm in or speak to the nurse sitting next to me. I just want to be left alone. Alone to think about what I did and what the hell I'm going to do now.

Rustling of clothes to my left brought me out of my internal thoughts. I hear someone open a case of some sort and then I recognize the tuning of a guitar. I smile when I realize the person sitting on the other side of the bed is Lester. I wonder when he got back. Oh GOD. I remember him leaving the message on my phone about coming over last night. He was the one to find my broken and bleeding body.

Les is my best friend and could be a lot more if I just let myself love him. I tell Les stuff that no one else knows and he confides in me too. We've built a bond that is stronger than with any other Merry Man.

One night after a bad takedown, I knew Les would need a friend because he had to kill two men after they shot both Zero and Hal. It was self-defense, but I knew he still hated having to do it. He is just that type of guy.

I made my way down to his apartment on the fourth floor ready to comfort to do anything I could to comfort him. I found his door open a crack and heard him playing the guitar and singing. I didn't know he played or that he sounded that good. His voice was beautiful. I quietly walked into his apartment and quietly closed the door. I didn't want to interrupt him. I just stood there and listened. He sounded so sad and lost while he sang. I could tell that it was his way of letting the stress from the day out. When he was finished, I clapped and walked slowly up to him. He put down his guitar and grabbed me in a tight hug and cried.

These men never show emotions. They are trained to hold them back, so I was shocked that he was letting me see him in such a weak emotional state. I didn't say anything and just let him cry as I ran my hands up and down his back. He had done the same for me hundreds of times and it was about damn time for me to return the favor.

Our relationship changed after that night. We talked for hours about his love of music and about his talents with playing and singing. I never brought up the takedown and neither did he. All he mentioned was that playing the guitar and singing was how he liked to decompress after something like that happens. I can understand. I eat. That's how I decompress.

After that night, I would occasionally go down to Les' apartment when I knew he was there and demanded him to play for me before I left the building. I told him it was my way of calming down too. God, I loved listening to him sing. I even found an open mic night at a nearby bar and took him. He was so nervous, but with a little encouragement from me he got on that stage and sang. He did a great job and everyone loved him. I was so proud of him.

We go back to that bar at least once a month so Les can play. It's our time together. Our secret. None of the other guys know about it and we like to keep it that way.

I heard the first few chords of a song play and then finally heard Les start to sing. I stayed as still as possible and listened to the words as he quietly sang to me. (*** SEE A/N at end of chapter***)

I've heard this song before and can remember liking the haunting melody. Listening to my friend sing it, brought tears to my eyes because I knew for a fact that he would follow me anywhere.

I finally got the nerve to open my eyes and looked at the gorgeous man sitting beside me. He continued to sing not paying attention to me, so I got to really watch him.

He looked so sad. I couldn't understand why he looked so devastated. Wasn't he tired of being around me? That's what Tank said. His eyes met mine and he stopped playing. He started to get up to approach the bed, but I wasn't ready to talk to him yet.

"Please don't stop," was all I could get croaked out. A smile appeared on his lips as he resumed the song. He looked right into my eyes as he finished. He poured out every emotion into the lyrics that he was singing.

I knew at that moment how much this man loved me. He held nothing back. Every emotion was clear in his eyes, and love was the most prominent.

It was a sobering thought to know that he was willing to follow me anywhere. I sure as hell went to a dark place last night and here he is beside me. He followed me and looks about as rough as I feel.

I couldn't speak or move when he finished the song. All I could do was stare at his beautiful green eyes. He slowly stood up and walked slowly toward me. He began to stroke my hair and placed his forehead on mine and exhaled a long cleansing breath, closing his eyes. He was centering himself, trying to control his emotions.

"Beautiful, you don't know how good it is to see your gorgeous blue eyes. You scared the shit out of everyone. You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were dead when I found you last night."

Les looked at me with pain written all over his face. I saw the glisten of tears in his eyes and suddenly felt very ashamed about what I did. I didn't know what to say to him. I probably couldn't say anything to him that would make him feel better, but just looking at him I knew I wanted him to forgive me. I wanted to take his pain away.

I was ready to apologize and beg for his forgiveness, then it dawned on me that I still wanted to die. I still didn't want to be here. Nothing has changed since yesterday. I still lost everything and I was still the same broken woman that I was last night. I was worse than I was last night. I wasn't good enough for his acceptance or his love. I didn't deserve him.

I was ready to leave this shit hole of a world and my pathetic life and I was at peace with that decision. Once again, someone didn't support my decision and took it upon themselves to save me. That pissed me off and decided I was ready to talk. Well, talk or yell. Either way.

"Why the fuck did you save me, Les? Why didn't you just let me die?" I finally found my voice and bit out. The resentment and hurt in my voice hurt Les and I saw the pain in his features.

"I was ready to die. I don't want to live like this anymore. You'll never be able to understand, so just leave and let me go." The pain that I originally felt was quickly replaced by self-loathing rage. Rage sparked in Les' eyes too.

"Why did I save you? Why did I...JESUS Steph! I guess it's because I love you and it would kill me if you weren't here anymore. I guess it's because you have friends and family that would be devastated if you died." I scoffed at that. Who the hell would care if I died?

"Did you honestly think about anyone else but yourself? You can be so God damn selfish sometimes, but I didn't think you'd ever go this far. Did you think about me or Ranger or Joe? Did you think about how WE would feel?" His voice was getting louder; his anger clear in his words.

"Damn it Steph. You have no clue how many fucking people give a damn about you, do you? No matter how many times we tell you that we care. You just don't see how fucking special you are, do you?"

By this point tears were flowing freely and I was cowering in the bed. Les would never hurt me, but his words made me feel so ashamed. I knew Les loved me, but he was the only one. Ranger didn't care, Joe didn't care. Hell, even Tank turned on me. I needed to be left alone to think. I wanted him to stop talking and just go.

"Please just leave me alone, Les. I can't deal with this now. I want to be left alone. I thought you were sick of me anyway. Why don't you and Tank go laugh some more about how pathetic I am!" He looked confused for a minute, then the anger was back.

"I'm not going anywhere Stephanie." Les reached behind him to the table and grabbed a plastic envelope. He threw it on my bed and with a look that would have most men scared and asked, "Would you like to explain this to me?"

I glanced down at the plastic evidence bag on my bed. Enclosed was the suicide note that I left.

"You decide that you're not good enough to live and you decide that it's time for you to just die. Then you leave a piece of paper, like it's supposed to make us feel better about you being dead." The look of disbelief on his face hurt. He was really disappointed in me, and why shouldn't he be.

Shit, I can't explain this now, I still didn't fully understand everything myself. He sure as hell wouldn't understand. I looked over the note and reread the words that I wrote. The pain stabbed through my heart again. I started breathing heavy through the tears. Alarms went off above my head as my heart rate sped up and the nurse who was sitting beside me jumped into action. I couldn't catch my breath. I've had panic attacks before, but this one was bad.

"Sir, you have to leave this room now. We can't have her getting this upset." The RN was busy getting oxygen on me and glared daggers as she spoke. "Don't make me call security."

"Lady, I'm not going anywhere. Fix. Her. Now." He sounded worried and still angry. "By the way, I'm not scared of your security."

Les was pacing when Bobby came in alerted by the alarms. He looked at me and smiled when he saw I was awake. Tank quickly followed Bobby and looked at me with a piercing stare. His words from the night before came flooding in and I began to panic all over again. I didn't want anyone in my room. I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted peace again. I wanted to feel nothing.

"GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. NOW!" I yelled at each of them between deep breaths.

The doctors quickly came to silence the alarms and the guys were pushed from the room. I could see them right outside the glass door, but at least they weren't in here looking at me and judging me. I can't handle that. I can't handle their pity either or their fake concern.

After finally getting calmed down, the doctors left and the nurse took her post beside my bed.

"You can leave too. I know where my call button is." I wasn't trying to be hateful, but I really wanted to be alone.

"Sorry Ms. Plum. You're on 1:1 observation because of the suicide attempt. Someone will have to stay right here as long as your in this hospital." She never looked at me in the eyes, just kept her attention to the restraints on my wrists and to whatever was on the damn clipboard she held.

Fuck! Great. I can't even get a moment of peace. Moments later the doctor came back in a told me about what happened. As if I didn't know. I did learn that it took a total of 57 stitches to close the wounds on my arms. They had to sedate me and perform surgery on some of my veins and in some sections they had to use multiple layers of stitching. They also transfused a total of 7 liters of blood back into me. I wasn't for sure, but that sounds like a lot. He guaranteed me that I was out of the woods and that I would have scars on my arms for the rest of my life. Great, a reminder of my failure and weakness.

After the doctors left, I was finally semi alone. I could still see the guys outside and it looked like they weren't leaving any time soon. Bobby was talking to the doctor that just left my room. Tank and Lester were in a deep conversation and kept glancing my way. Lester looked pissed. What the hell does he have to be so mad about?

I wish they would just leave me the hell alone. Doesn't look like I'm going to get my wish because here they come and they look like they mean business.

As I watched the three men stalk toward my hospital room, I looked down and noticed my suicide letter was still on my lap. I picked it up and threw it across the room. I didn't want to see the words of a broken woman. I was ashamed of what I did. How did I let myself get this far? I was hurt and I was pissed, so bring it on boys. I'm ready for a showdown

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***A/N - The song is Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie. I thought it was fitting for Les to sing to Steph. This band has quickly became my new obsession. I had to edit out the lyrics since FanFiction banned them.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine and I am making no money.

Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, I think fanfiction is having some issues. After a couple hours of cursing FanFiction and my ipad, I think the problem has been solved. Sorry again for the delay.

Thank you all for the reviews, favorites, and follows. It means the a lot to me that you all are enjoying this story. We've still got a ways to go to get Stephanie back to her old self. I hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 7 - Misunderstanding

Tank entered the room and whispered to the nurse. She nodded and went to the corner of the room. Bobby and Lester stood behind him in parade rest poses. I guess they wanted to talk to me in private. Great. Maybe they get to tell me that Ranger is discarding me.

It was Tank that took the lead and approached the bed to sit in the nurses vacated chair.

"Steph, what happened?" The care and concern on his dark face was clear for the world to see. These men rarely showed emotion. It was a shock to see it so open now. The way that he was acting was in stark contrast to the words that I heard last night. I was so confused.

"Tank, please don't make me tell you guys. I can't bear to feel that pain. I don't want to experience it again." I let the tears fall as he sat beside my bed and squeezed my hand between his massive hands.

"We just want to help you, Steph. Who put those bruises on you? Joe? Did he do anything else? Help us understand why you would want to do something so drastic and permanent as killing yourself. We are confused and we want to understand."

Tank was pushing, there was no way he was walking away without an explanation. I could see the worry in his eyes as he looked at me, gently caressing my hair and face. "Tell us who hurt you Steph. We want to help. You know Ranger would be here if he could." I scoffed and rolled my eyes turning my head to the opposite side of the bed. Sure, Ranger would be here if he wasn't starting his new life with someone else. Tank looked pissed, but he continued.

"I don't know what's going on Steph, but Ranger hasn't done a damn thing to deserve your doubt in him. He's done nothing but love you. You know for a fact that he would be here in an instant if he could. He would never forgive himself if something happened to you." Tank's voice continued to get louder with each word he spoke.

"Do you have any idea how much that man loves you? Or are you just too blind to see what everyone else does? Damn it, Stephanie. You have no fucking idea how devastated he would be if you died. His life would end with you, don't you understand that? NOW, you will tell us what's going on."

That was the longest speech I've ever heard from Tank, but I knew he was lying with every word. Ranger didn't care. He was with his new girlfriend. He could be here, but he's not. I rolled my eyes and glared at Tank. He must have realized that I'm not giving in so easily because he decided to switch tactics. He refused to back down. His facial features softened. The anger was gone and was replaced by concern.

"Please tell me, little girl. Let me help you." The guys know that I can't say no to them when they say please. It was a dirty trick that he was using it here. "Please Steph. I see you're hurting and I need to know why. Let us help you feel better. Please!"

Begging was not a good look for a big army man, but I saw the pleading behind his eyes. I looked behind him where Lester and Bobby stood and saw the same pleading. My breath caught in my throat when I realized that I not only needed their help, I wanted it!

I was emotionally done. I was so tired. Tired of crying, tired of the hurt, tired of fighting. I had no fight left in me so I let everything come, spilling out. I've heard it called word vomit before, and that's exactly what it felt like.

Everything that happened yesterday came out between my sobs and tears. From the start of a really good day, to it all falling apart. I noticed Bobby and Lester standing behind Tank with true concern written on their faces.

I told them about finding Joe with Robin and his "conversation" that we had in the parking lot. I told them about the girls at the bonds office and their attitude towards what Joe had done. I told them about my parents practically disowning me and about Joe paying me a visit last night and about the sexual assault. I couldn't call it a rape since I didn't technically say no. The rage pouring off the three men before me was intense. I could feel every ounce of anger and hatred that these men held for Joe.

I had intentionally left out the conversation I heard between Ranger and Tank in the sequence of events, but it was time to share that too. It was time for Tank to confirm what I heard about myself at RangeMan. I took a deep breath and tried to control my breathing. I had to get through this. I could do it.

"All of that was bad and hurt more than you can possibly imagine, but what crushed my soul and my heart was what YOU and Ranger discussed in the stair well at the office. I was there. I heard everything."

Tank's face went ghost white which is hard for a man with that dark of a complexion, but he managed it. He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up a hand to stop him.

"No, it's okay. I understand where Ranger is and what I really meant to him. What was it that he called me? Oh yeah, trash." My voice cracked and I began to sob again. Lester approached the other side of the bed and sat down beside me. He gathered me into his arms as best he could with my hands tied to the bed. He let me cry into his chest. I wanted to hide there forever, but I had to continue. I had to get everything out.

"You don't know what it's like to lose everything that you love in the course of one day. I could give a rats ass about losing Morelli, the girls at the office or my parents. The real pain came when I heard that you guys, the people who I thought were my friends, honestly didn't give a damn about me." Bobby and Lester looked at Tank confused and he just looked sick.

"Hearing that Ranger was moving on and throwing me away, was too much to take."

It was quiet in my room for a moment. I let the guys absorb the information that I shared and I tried to gather my thoughts.

"What I don't understand, is if you guys were that tired of me, why couldn't you just tell me. Why lie to me and string me along?" The last question came out as a whisper.

Silence again filled the room. Les just held me again and stroked my hair. He was the first to speak.

"Beautiful, I have no idea what you heard last night or what it did to you. What I can tell you is that I don't care what Ranger or anyone else says, I love you. You know that. I would never turn my back on you."

"Tank said that you would shoot me if you saw me in the building. Is that not the same as turning your back on me?" I asked bitterly.

"What the fuck, man? You need to tell me what happened, now." Les looked at Tank with murder on his face.

"God, Stephanie. You were never meant to hear that conversation." Tank finally found his voice.

"Well, that makes me feel better. Did you want to keep on lying to me then?"

"God, No. What I mean is that conversation wasn't about you, little girl. I am so sorry that you thought it was." He still looked sick as he looked at Bobby and Lester. They looked confused for a second and then like someone turned on the lightbulbs, I could see the understanding. Damn them and their ESP.

"Nice try, Tank. Let me guess, Ranger has another crazy woman who's hopelessly in love with him who constantly gets herself in trouble and is a drain on his company?"

"YES!" they all three yelled. I jumped when I heard their loud voices. I looked at each of them and saw the truth in their eyes. They weren't lying to me. What the hell is going on?

"Beautiful, I wasn't even there and I know who Tank was talking about. You are not crazy, and you are not a drain on the company. You are however hopelessly in love with the bossman, but we'll skip that one. There is only one person that I know of that fits all that and it makes sense what you said earlier about me being sick of you and wanting to shoot you." Les turned to Tank and continued. "Let me guess, Jeanne Ellen came a begging again?"

Tank nodded his head and looked right at me. What?

"Wait, you were talking about Jeanne Ellen?" I asked amazed.

"Yeah, Steph. She's been after Ranger for years and has tried everything to get him to hire her and sleep with her. He won't do it, but it doesn't stop her from trying. Last night was just another sad attempt to get into RangeMan and into the bosses bed." Tank took my hand again.

"I am so sorry that you thought that was about you. I can understand how you got confused, but damn little girl...you should know us better than that."

God, I felt so stupid and so ashamed. I almost died because of a misunderstanding. I let the tears fall again and each man took a place on my bed and touched me where ever they could. Les took my hand on his side, Tank on the other and Bobby was perched at my feet. He gently placed his hand on my leg. No one spoke. They were each giving me their silent support. I was drawing the strength that I desperately needed from them.

"Steph, I know everything you told us was really bad and you thought you had lost everything, but why? Why did you try to kill yourself?" Bobby asked with a look of genuine concern on his face.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know what else to do. After Ranger left, I thought I was loosing him forever. I can't live without him. I thought I was losing you guys too. What would I do without my Merry Men?" I was truly sorry for what I had done. Another thought crossed my mind and with it the same fears from last night.

"Wait, who is the person Ranger is starting a relationship with? I don't know if I can live with seeing him with someone else either." I finally managed to slow my tears, but I had to know the answer to this. Tank looked uncomfortable but finally decided that I needed to know the information.

"Bombshell, you really are dense. Ranger went to your apartment last night to tell you that he loved you. That he wanted you in his life. He left after you pushed him away. He's on his last mission for the government. He was going to ask you to wait for him. He's tired of living in the background of your life, Steph. He is willing to fight for you. I wish he could have told you that last night."

A look of disappointment flashed across Les' face but he quickly masked it and turned back to me.

"As hard as this is for me to say, Beautiful; the man loves you. He's never loved anyone like he does you. He wasn't kidding when he said that his life doesn't make it easy for a relationship, but he's willing to give you whatever you want."

"Oh God! I fucked up big time, didn't I? I never thought he would choose me. I mean, why would he? I thought he was going to tell me that whatever we had was over. I feel like such a fool. I let him leave believing I didn't care about him." Thoughts swirled in my mind. Ranger loves me and wants me in his life. He has to finish this last mission and then he's coming back to me. Shit, what he doesn't come back.

"Tank, can you call him? Does he know what happened? I have to talk to him. I have to tell him that I love him. What if something happens to him and I never..." The words came spilling out of my mouth at a rapid speed.

"Woah, Steph. I've tried calling, he's already underground. He should be back in a few months though. This isn't a dangerous mission, so he should have no problems completing it on time." Tank stroked my face as he spoke. "He has you to come home too, right? You'll be here when he gets back? Tell me you're not going to do this again Steph."

"No, I'm never doing this again. I have reasons to fight now. I have something to live for. I thought I had lost him and you guys. I had nothing left and no reason to live. Now, I know he loves me and I have to survive for him." I said as each man searched my face for signs of doubt or untruthfulness. I guess they were convinced by what they saw, because each of them gave me a dazzling smile and a tight hug.

"Bomber, you've always had us. I can tell you that every one of the guys would do ANYTHING for you. You will always have someone in your corner." Bobby looked right into my eyes and I knew he was telling the truth. "Now, what are we going to do about the rest of your problems?" He looked about ready to beat some ass.

All I could do was shrug. It hurt that my friends and family treated me so poorly, but I've been letting them do it for years. Why should it surprise me that they keep doing it? I keep letting them. It was for me time to stand up for myself. It was going to be hard to say goodbye to my parents and friends. Even though I was angry and disappointed in them, didn't mean that I still didn't love them.

"Beautiful, sometimes you have to give up on certain people. Not because you don't care but because they don't. It's okay to stand up for yourself. It doesn't mean that you don't still love them; you just need to love yourself more." Les had a way of making a hard task that I knew I was going to hate doing, seem almost easy. He was right, I needed to love myself more. I needed to love me for me.

"Thanks Les, I think you're right. I need to love myself more and I'm going to start now." I hung my head in shame thinking about what I had done to myself. Why couldn't I be strong like these guys?

"Steph. You can be as strong as us. You can do anything that you put your mind to." Bobby smiled as he took my hand. Stupid ESP. "Let us help you. Let us be your strength when you feel weak."

I knew then that with these guys beside me, I could get through this and I could be a stronger person. All three of them kept looking at me, like they were expecting me to say something. I knew what they wanted and I was stalling as long as possible. Once it was said, I couldn't take it back. I would do anything to keep this promise that I was going to make to them.

"Okay guys. I promise each one of you that from this day forward you will be my strength when I need it. I won't ever do anything stupid like this again. I swear to each of you." The instant relief that each man showed brought the tears again to my eyes. They would be here no matter what and wanted to make sure that I would be here too. "You guys have been here for me through everything and I don't know how to thank you."

"You just did thank us, little girl. You promised to live. That's enough." Tank squeezed my hand in a show of support. I must have looked exhausted because Tank took one look at me and knew I was ready to crash. "Okay guys, we promised Gazarra we would come to the station and give our statements and I think we need to pay Detective Morelli a visit."

The look on each of their faces was priceless. Eager anticipation. Their visit with Morelli will probably be brief but substantial. They liked to talk with their fists and that made me worry.

"Just promise me one thing before you go, guys." I looked at each of them. "Promise you won't do anything to land in jail today. I still need you guys. Oh, and make sure you tell him to go fuck himself from me."

Each man smiled at me and made the promise. I felt better about letting them go now. Tank and Bobby kissed me on top of the head and whispered words of encouragement in my ear before they left.

Les was the last to leave and he bent to retrieve the letter that I had thrown across the room. He stopped by my bed and bent to kiss me on the lips. I hesitated at first when his lips met mine, but it felt oh so good. I opened my mouth to him allowing him to caress the insides with his tongue. It wasn't a kiss full of uncontrolled passion and want. It was a kiss full of love and possibilities. I know I heard someone moan, loudly. I'm not sure if it was me, Les or the nurse who was still standing in the back of the room and I didn't really care. We pulled apart and Les rested his forehead against mine.

"I'll be back later, Beautiful. I know your heart belongs to Ranger, but we still need to talk about us." Les gave me one last fast kiss before heading out of the door.

Great, I wasn't looking forward to that conversation. I didn't know how to tell him we could only be friends and not break his heart. I hope he understands and doesn't pull away from me. I need him too much.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer - Not mine, not making money...blah, blah, blah!**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews. I am so bad about responding to them, but I read each and every one and they are the driving force to keep me writing. Keep them coming! This might not be the chapter you all wanted to read, but I promise the "conversation" that our Merry Men have with Morelli is coming. I'll probably post it on Wednesday...or tomorrow if you ask nicely. : )**

I am using creative licensing in this chapter. I don't know the laws in New Jersey regarding medial stuff, so I'm making it up. The hospital mentioned in this chapter is a real place, but again the staff is all fictional. They are my creations. I was an aide at a psychiatric hospital for 9 years, so a lot of the information in the next few chapters is based on my experience in that job. I hope you enjoy the latest installment!

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**Chapter 8 - New Home**

After the guys left the room, my lips were still tingling from the kiss from Les. I knew he was talented, but damn. It made me feel good. I noticed the nurse come and check my bandages with a blush on her face. She saw us kiss and looked embarrassed. Oh well.

I was still confused about my feelings about Les. I love him. He's my best friend and I need him to get through this. I just have to explain to him that my heart belongs to Ranger. If there is any chance for a life with him, I'm going to fight like hell to get that chance. I just hope I don't hurt Les. I know he cares for me and I hope we can remain friends after all of this is done.

After a few minutes a doctor came into my room, followed by a team with a gurney with what looked like leather belts and cuffs attached to it. The guys pushing the gurney didn't look like normal hospital employees. They could both be Merry Men with the muscles they had. The doctor took up the space beside my bed and smiled at me.

"Ms. Plum. My name is Dr. Fisher and I'm here to oversee your transfer to our facility." She sounded genuine and smiled as she spoke. "You're going to be a guest of Princeton House Behavioral Health Inpatient Program starting today. The transfer papers have already been signed so all we have to do is get you moved."

"Wait. I didn't sign any papers so what are you talking about? I don't want to go any where." I was scared. Did the guys know about any of this? Did they sign the paperwork? I knew RangeMan held my medical power of attorney so they had to. Why didn't they tell me?

"Since you attempted to kill yourself, Ms. Plum, the decision isn't yours to make anymore. I spoke today with your parents and your fiancé who willingly signed for your admission to our hospital. You have no choice in this matter." The doctor directed the two men to untie my wrist and then they moved me onto the gurney. They placed my wrists in the leather cuffs and locked them around me and then locked the straps to the bed.

I must have looked confused or terrified. I was both. I didn't understand how Joe and my parents are able to make decisions for me.

"Wait! Who did you say signed the admission papers? I don't have a fiancé and my power of attorney is held by the men who just left my room."

"I don't know how, but your fiancé spoke with us today and had a signed copy of the paperwork from a judge. It was all we needed. He is really concerned about you. He just wants you to get better."

I pulled against the straps attached to me and tried to sit up.

"The restraints are just a precaution, Ms. Plum. We'll take them off when we get you to the ward and get an assessment of where you stand emotionally."

"Wait, wait, please. Did you at least tell the men that just left that I was leaving? Do they know how to get in touch with me?" I started to panic.

"I am not at liberty to speak with them about your treatment and neither is anyone here. We've been asked by your family to do this quietly. I don't ask questions, but I like to honor the wishes of the families." She looked at the two men and asked, "Are we ready?"

Both men nodded and I was pushed out to a waiting ambulance and loaded into the back. The two men climbed in back and the doctor climbed in the front. We left the hospital and headed toward what was going to be my new home.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I had no choice in this matter. How did my parents and fiancé, who I can assume was Joe, manage this? I didn't even see them last night or today. They didn't even care enough to come check on me. How did they have the right to sign those papers?

Millions of questions swarmed through my mind. I had to talk to the Merry Men. They were going to be worried when they came back and I wasn't there. What were they going to think?

We stopped about half an hour later and the back doors of the vehicle were opened. I was pushed into a large building and passed thorough four sets of locked doors. We finally stopped outside what looked like a conference room. Finally the restraints were removed and I was led inside the room. A female employee came and did a body check for weapons hidden in my clothing. It wasn't like I was wearing much. I was still wearing a pair of scrubs from the hospital and a pair of socks. I didn't even have underwear or a bra on.

A chair was sitting in front of a long table and I was directed to sit down. Restraints were applied to my writs again and then to the chair. The two men stood right behind me and the doctor took her seat at the table.

After a few minutes, other people joined the party and they all had stacks of papers and looks of pity on their faces.

"Ms. Plum, let me start by introducing your treatment team to you. These are the people who are responsible for getting you well. On the end is Tim Williams, he's the Social Worker on your ward and is also in charge of your Individual Treatment Plan. We'll talk about that later. Next to Tim is Betty Holmes, RN. She's the charge nurse on your ward. If you have any problems, you need to see her. I'm Dr. Fisher, your psychiatrist. I'll be in charge of your medication therapy if we decide you need it. Next to me is Dr. Zakaras, your psychologist. She will be who you talk to about what led you here to us. We will all be in charge of your treatment. The two men behind you are Jason Banks to your left and Allen Watson to your right. They are two of the aids who work day shift on the ward where you'll be staying. You'll be seeing them a lot. Do you have any questions so far?"

All I could do was shake my head no. I couldn't even form words right now let alone push them out of my throat to speak.

"Good, we're here to help you Ms. Plum. We're going to get you better so you can continue to live your life as a happy member of society. We're not the enemy. We are your friends." I began to relax as they all continued to speak to me. I was asked hundreds of questions. It was a surreal experience.

After about two hours of questions and talking we were done. I had an ITP (individual treatment plan) that would help in my recovery. It was designed by me and specifically for me. I had no clue how a piece of paper was going to help, but I did't ask about it. All the "professionals" seemed to be interested in finishing it.

I had appointments with both of my doctors for the next day and I was still a little confused, but they told me to expect that and that it would get better after a couple days here.

"We're going to remove the restraints now Ms. Plum. If we think that you're in danger of harming yourself or one of our staff, then they will be reapplied. You will be on 1:1 observation for the first two weeks that you are here. The aides will explain what's expected of you when they orient you to the ward. Have a good day Ms. Plum and we'll see you tomorrow." Damn, that doctor was just too friendly for me to hate, and I wanted to hate her.

Jason and Allen led me out of the room and through another locked door. Damn, how many was that, five sets? This must be the ward. My home?

They showed me to my bedroom first. Luckily I didn't have a roommate. I'm not sure how I would handle that. I was shocked when they directed me to check the drawers and closet for my belongings. Huh, how did some of my stuff get here? The drawers and closet were full of my clothes. My tennis shoes were under my bed but my shoe strings were missing.

I asked Jason, who was still standing there, where they were and he told me that it was part of being on suicide watch. Since I was still 1:1, I wasn't allowed anything in my room that could be used as a weapon to hurt myself. I guess shoe strings posed a danger to me. When I was taken off suicide precautions, I would be allowed to have the things that they removed.

I continued to look around and noticed a picture frame by the bed. It was cheap plastic without the glass, but the picture in it about made me puke.

It was me and Joe, cuddled up on my parents couch taken one night many many moons ago. I didn't even know my parents had this. I took the picture out and handed it to Jason.

"Would you please dispose of this for me?" I asked. All I got was a raised eyebrow. Damn it! Am I the only one that can't do that.

"You are allowed to leave the room, Ms. Plum. The trash is right out here." I followed him out of the room and threw the offending picture in the garbage where it belonged. Then I pulled it out and shredded it into a million (okay, maybe not a million) little pieces. Jason laughed and asked, "Would you like to see the rest of the ward, Ms. Plum?"

"Please call me Steph and yes, I would love to see the place that's going to be my home." As we walked, I finally had the balls to look at my surroundings. It was a cheerful looking facility. There seemed to be 10 bedrooms down each of its two hallways, that would mean there are 19 other patients here if every room is full. There were also two bathrooms down each hallway. Shit, 4 bathrooms for 20 people. That can't be good.

"How many patients are here?" My curiosity got the better of me.

"15 right now. This hallway is only female patients and the other is only male. You've got 8 other woman to share the bathrooms with." Jason knew exactly what I was thinking. He must have ESP too.

"Up here we have the nurses station and medication room. If you need something, come find one of us. If you feel more comfortable talking to a female, then let me know." He looked unsure of himself.

"No. I'm fine talking to you. You've been very friendly. I appreciate that." I gave him a small smile and sensed him relax a bit. I saw two women sitting behind the desk working on charts and they both glanced up at me and smiled as we walked by. They seemed friendly enough.

Jason led me into a large room with comfy couches and chairs and a huge TV. "This is the dayroom. TV times are posted on the sheet by the door and this is where you'll have your group meetings. You'll get to know the other patients in here too."

I continued to digest my new surroundings. A few of the other clients stopped to check me out but most just kept to themselves. I was hoping I didn't know anyone here. I've dealt with crazy people in my line of work and really didn't want to deal with any of them again. Luckily there was no one I recognized. Thank the Lord!

"What do we do now?" I was curious about what I was supposed to do.

"Whatever you want. You've been given the rest of the day off from the treatment program rules so you can get acclimated to the ward. You just missed lunch, and dinner isn't until 6:30. Would you like me to get you a snack?" Jason asked as he led me towards a door by the nurses station.

"Sure, I haven't eaten since yesterday. I'm not really hungry, but probably should eat." I watched as he rummaged through what looked like a little connivence store. They had all sorts of junk food, I'm might just survive here.

"How does Cheetos and peanut butter crackers sound?" He turned with the items in his hands.

"Sounds good, thanks." I took the food and went to a table positioned in the corner of the dayroom to eat my food. Jason followed me everywhere I went. 1:1 really sucks. I thought I had no privacy in the Burg, well that was nothing compared to this. I wasn't sure if I could last two weeks with a constant shadow.

After about an hour a new aide walked up and sat beside me and Jason left. She introduced herself as Beth. We talked for a few minutes and then I decided that it was time to shower. I was dirty and still had some dried blood on me that I needed to get off.

"I'm going to shower. Is that okay?" I decided to ask, since I didn't want to piss anyone off so early in my stay.

"You're free to do whatever you want, but I have to accompany you into the bathroom and observe you while you shower." Beth said with a smile.

Have you ever taken a shower or tried to use the bathroom with someone watching? Talk about embarrassing and uncomfortable. I did all my business as quickly as possible. I didn't like to be naked in front of anyone, let alone someone I didn't know.

I dressed in comfortable clothes and slipped my sneakers on; but without shoe strings they were really hard to walk in so I switched to my fuzzy slippers. I'm glad whoever packed for me thought to include them. I decided to relax a bit in front of the TV so my shadow and I headed back to the dayroom and I found a spot on a couch. Beth sat beside me and continued to write on the clipboard. They must have to document everything I did.

I must have dozed off because when I looked the next time, Allen was sitting with me. I smiled and went back to my mindless staring at the TV. This was going to be a long process. I realized that I had no clue how long I was actually stuck here. I needed to find out that answer as soon as possible.

"Can I make a phone call?" I decided I need my Merry men. I wanted to hear their voices.

"I'm sorry, Steph. You have to talk to Dr. Fisher tomorrow before we can let you make any calls. Just relax tonight and you can find out everything you need to know tomorrow." Allen was at least friendly as he dashed my hopes of talking to someone.

I decided I wanted to know a whole lot of information, so I sat and came up with a list of questions that I had for my doctor. My appointment was tomorrow and knew I could get most of them answered. First and foremost, I wanted to know how to call my Merry Men.

They had to be worried when I wasn't at the hospital when they came back. They probably had no clue where I was or what happened to me. I was feeling disconnected being so far away from them and I really needed them. I would call them first thing after my appointment tomorrow. Now, I just have to wait until then. Tomorrow can't get here fast enough!


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Not mine, yada yada yada.**

**Well, the response for a chapter today was too big to ignore. I wasn't planning on putting this into the finished story, but you guys asked for it. I hope I don't disappoint. Thank you all so much for the reviews...they keep me writing.**

Sorry this chapter is so long, but the asshole Morelli decided he wanted to share some of his thoughts. His internal ramblings in this chapter are how I picture him. I realize that JE writes him as a hero and a good guy, but I just don't see it. If you're a Cupcake fan, then you probably won't like this...but then, you wouldn't like any of this story.

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**Chapter 9 - The Confrontation**

**Lester's POV**

Hell to the yeah! It's time to kick some Morelli ass. I couldn't believe when Steph told us what he did to her last night. We knew he was a cheating bastard, but we never suspected him to abuse her or to rape her. No matter what she says, it was rape. I would gladly kill this mother fucker today, but I know that's not possible. We promised Steph that we wouldn't do anything to land in jail.

After we gave our statements to Eddie and Big Dog, we all headed down towards Morelli's office. I glance towards the two other men walking with me and could see the beasts raging inside them.

We do our best to keep these beasts contained when we're not in battle. Very few people have been unfortunate to see my beast outside of a war zone. Eddie Abruzzi was one of those. Steph thinks it was Ranger that took care of that problem, it wasn't. Ranger was already in love with Steph at that point and understood that he couldn't objectively handle it. Abruzzi wouldn't have been recognized if Ranger was allowed to be close to him. The anger that he was holding in after seeing the burn on Steph's arm was too intense for him to hold himself back. His beast was unleashed. As it was, he kicked Tank's ass on the mats when he got back to the office. It was scary for a few weeks after that.

Even though I was in love with Steph even then, I was able to detach myself enough to pull off the "suicide" staging. It was hard, but I managed it. That same beast that was raging in Ranger that night, was the same raging in all of us now. We wanted vengeance and we were going to get it. This situation could turn volatile very quickly if we weren't careful.

When we got to the door; we stopped to listen quietly for a moment. Steph said she caught him earlier with Robin, and we didn't want to interrupt again. After hearing nothing but paper's being tossed around, we decided to let ourselves in. The look on his face when he looked up to see us standing in front of his desk was priceless. I wish I had brought my camera. Scarred shitless is how I can best describe it.

"What the fuck do you thugs want?" Ah, Morelli trying to sound tough, but the tremor in his voice gave his fear away. He was scared. "I have nothing to say to you and since you can't do shit to me in the police station, I guess you boys will be leaving."

"Morelli, Morelli, Morelli. Did you honestly think we would just ignore what you did to Stephanie?" Tank spoke calmly with his deadly '_I'm a mother fucking badass voice'_ that has caused many men to fear for their lives.

"We have a rule at RangeMan that no one hurts our Bombshell. If someone does, he or she pays the price. The way I see it, you hurt her a whole bunch." Tank got deathly quiet and I had to strain to hear what he was saying to Morelli. "What made you think that you could put your hands on her? I've been taught, an eye for an eye. Think about everything you did to her because you're going to get it back ten fucking fold."

Fear flashed across Morelli's face again. Bobby and I just stood with our blank faces on. We've put terror into some of the worlds most hardened criminals. This punk ass pussy doesn't stand a chance. Tank spoke normally again.

"Steph told us what happened yesterday. We just wanted to pay you a friendly visit so you know that WE know what you did and we'll be sharing it with the boss man when he gets back. Be afraid Morelli. Be very afraid." Tank finished his speech and punched the desk in front of him breaking off a chunk of wood. He casually picked it up off the floor and tossed it onto the desk in front of Morelli.

"Sorry about that. Cheap office products piss me off." Tank smiled and stepped back in line with us.

Sweat dripped down Morelli's face as he stuttered, "Are you threatening a cop? I will arrest all three of you and watch you rot behind bars." It was my turn to play with him.

"Threat? I didn't hear a threat. All I heard was a promise. YOU will pay the price for hurting Steph. You are a stupid mother fucker if you think we're going to walk away. She is our friend and we protect those that we love," I stepped forward and leaned down placing my palms on his desk, getting right in front of his face.

"and we ALL love Steph. You hurt one of us, you hurt us all. You just pissed off a group of highly trained mercenaries. Not smart, Morelli. I thought you were smarter than that. You think we're going to just ignore the fact that you raped and beat someone who means the world to us? You're a delusional stupid fuck if you think we're walking away."

"I...I...I didn't ra..rape her. She...she's my fiancé. It...it was consensual. You need t...to get out of my off...office or I will arrest you." Stuttering is a sign of fear. He is definitely afraid. A smile crosses my face and I let every ounce of hate and malice I felt for this piece of crap come out in my words.

"You stupid mother fucker. Do you think semantics matter right now? You won't be going to "trial" for rape. You'll never see the inside of a courtroom, but you will see us again. I can guaran-damn-tee it. We will be your judge, jury, and executioners. We just have to wait for the boss man to get back. He's going to want to play too." I reached and patted his face and stepped away from his desk. God, what a fuck-tard.

It was silent in the small office. Morelli was sweating profusely. His eyes darting back and forth between my colleagues and I. I wanted to punch him so bad, but I promised Steph that I wouldn't end up in jail today. I had to keep my beast locked away to keep that promise.

Suddenly it was like a switch flipped and a new personality emerged from him. His face changed from fear to what looked like excitement and he began to smile. He looked too damn smug for my liking. We all glanced quickly at each other and I could tell that Tank and Bobby had the same feeling I did.

We've all dealt with sick and twisted individuals and we've seen the same look on them that we see now. He was planning something and we needed to know what it was. We know men like Morelli, get them pissed off enough and they snap and say things that they're trying to hide. He will be easy to break.

"Do you know exactly what happened last night to Steph?" Bobby, the ever astute medic asked. "She tried to kill herself by using a razor to cut her wrists. She would have died if Les hadn't gone to check on her. If he had waited five minutes, she would be dead right now." Bobby paused to let that information sink in.

Eddie told us that he spoke to Morelli last night, but didn't elaborate on his reaction to the information. We never saw him at the hospital or after Steph was moved to the ICU. Eddie implied that Morelli sounded "busy" when he spoke to him. He was busy fucking some skank while the person he supposedly loved was in the hospital.

We knew about the other girls. Morelli did very little to hide the fact that he was stepping out on Steph. Each of us talked to him when him and Steph decided to really give their relationship a go and warned him that it stopped. He agreed, but we kept the surveillance on him. We knew it hadn't stopped and that he was even adding more women to his bedpost notches. We were in the process on deciding how to tell Steph when all this shit happened.

I knew how much Morelli hated having his "extracurricular activities" thrown in his face. He loathes the fact that we know about the other women and we even have pictures that prove his infidelity. Not that we'll need them now since Steph caught him with his pants down. I realized that this was his weakness and the ammunition we needed to break him. He wasn't going to tell us anything unless he was good and mad. I'll get him there.

"If Stephanie really was your fiancé, then where the hell were you last night? The moment she needed you most, you are nonexistent." I smirked with a knowing smile. "What's the matter, Morelli? Did Joyce have you tied up? Did Terry not let you out of bed?" I paused and then fired both barrels at him.

"Or, wait. We didn't see Steph's parents there either. Was Mrs. Plum feeding you some of her special pie?" As sick as it was, we had proof of Morelli and Steph's mom together. That was the one that did it.

"You thugs think you know me? You don't know anything about what happens between me and Stephanie. You tell her about the other women and I will kill each and every one of you. Got that, dick heads?" Spit was flying all over the place as he spoke. I had to wipe my face a few times.

"I know exactly what happened last night. I know your boss was in her apartment earlier in the evening. When I found her later she was a blubbering mess. So, would you like to tell me who really hurt her? Looks to me that your boss is to blame. I did nothing wrong besides try to comfort my fiancé." Joe was yelling and standing behind his desk. Face red, veins bulging, waving his Italian arms around like a maniac. Yep, he's lost it.

"You think I'm scared of you and your boss. You're the delusional ones. Whatever made Stephanie do this latest stupid stunt was caused by one of your own people and I've made sure that none of you get close to her ever again."

There it was. A flash of regret crossed his face when he let that slip out. He didn't want us to know that bit of information, but how was he going to stop us? My stomach flopped as I watched the cop calm down and sit behind his desk again. His face got it's normal color back and an evil smile broke out across it. I wasn't going to like what I heard next, I just knew it.

"You and your company are no longer in charge of Stephanie Plum's safety or care. She is mine and I will be the one taking care of her. I now hold her medical power of attorney and make all the decisions regarding her treatment." The smile got bigger and a chill ran through me. It was a smile of pure evil.

I chanced a glance at Tank trying to read his thoughts, but as normal his face was blank and I couldn't get a read on him. He brought out his scary voice again as he leaned on the desk and spoke directly in Morelli's face.

"If you did what I think you did, you won't be able to hide from me or RangeMan. We will find you and you will pay." Standing back up Tank motioned us to go to the door. "We'll be seeing you around, Morelli."

We headed out the door and right before we closed it Morelli just had to dig his grave deeper.

"Oh boys. Be sure to tell your boss when you see him next, that I won. His "babe" is mine and she doesn't need him anymore." Joe's chuckle was the last thing we heard as we walked down the hallway.

With one glance from Tank, Bobby and I both had new directives from our leader. It's not ESP, like Steph thinks, it's just how we work together. We've been together in one form or another for 13 years. We don't have to speak to know what the others are saying.

Once we got into the SUV Bobby was calling his contacts at the hospital, I was on the phone with the RangeMan attorney and Tank was speeding towards St. Francis where we left Beautiful. Something wasn't right and we all knew it.

**Joe's POV**

Well, that was entirely too easy. I honestly didn't think that this crazy idea would pan out like it has, but it has to be one of the most brilliant ideas that I've ever came up with. I could have killed Stephanie last night when Eddie called and told me what happened. As if she hasn't embarrassed me or her parents enough, then she goes and pulls this bull shit. She couldn't even commit suicide correctly. She fails at everything she does. Joyce and I had a good laugh about that fact after hearing about it.

I was in the middle of a Barnhardt banging when Eddie called. What Steph allowed me to do earlier in the evening was amazing, but nothing compares to Joyce and her toys. The things this woman does to me was too much temptation to pass up. So when she showed up at my door after getting back from Steph's apartment, I didn't hesitate to let her in.

We had just gotten to the good stuff when Eddie's voice came yelling across my answering machine. I had purposely ignored the many calls and I guess he got impatient. I grabbed the phone and answered with an annoyed "hello".

I was shocked when he told me what happened. Stephanie has done some fucking ridiculous things in her life, but this...this takes the cake. I let Joyce finish her special treatment after hanging up with Eddie and then we laughed about the latest failure from my Cupcake. Why do I even bother with that woman?

That's a question that I ask myself every damn day and I think it goes back to her running me over with that damn Buick. I never liked her as a kid. She wasn't the type of girl I was attracted to in high school. I only fucked her at the bakery because of a bet. My cousin Mooch bet me three hundred dollars that I couldn't pop her cherry before I left for the navy. He was so stupid. I could get any girl at any time and I proved that when I took her on the floor. I left the next day, but not before writing about our encounter on the bathroom walls around town.

Not my finest moment, but I didn't care then. I was a stupid kid and honestly didn't think about the consequences of my actions. I found out just what those consequences were when I came home on leave two years later.

I was taking a week in between training sessions to visit my family and friends in Trenton. I had plans to stay in the military and had just been accepted into the SEAL training school. I wanted to be one the best out there and had dreams to stay in the service until I retired. She took that away from me. She took my dreams away when she ran me over and broke my leg.

The military doctors told me that it was a complex break and although it would heal properly, I would never be one hundred percent the same. I lost my spot in the SEAL program and was medically discharged from the Navy. Suddenly every dream I had for myself was gone. That bitch took everything from me and I decided right then that Stephanie Plum will pay.

I made it my goal to crush her dreams and her hopes when ever I could. When I heard that she married the dick, it was me who sent Joyce over that fateful afternoon. I knew he couldn't resist taking a ride on the Barnhardt train and I knew Steph was due home any minute. I watched from across the street as she walked in and found them and then watched as she threw all his clothes out on the lawn and set them on fire.

Their divorce was legendary and still talked about today. I crushed her first dream of happily ever after and it felt so good. It became an obsession after that. I loved seeing that look of hurt and disappointment on her face. That look fed my obsession.

It was also me who called the feds about her employer, E.E. Martin. I knew that they would get closed down and that she would loose her job. She just looked too damn happy for me to sit back and allow that to happen. I wanted her to suffer. I loved it when she lost everything. Her apartment in Newark, her cute little car, her dignity. It was all around a good time.

When she took the job with Vinnie and moved back to Trenton, the game got a whole lot easier. It was by pure accident that I was her first FTA, but I let her take me in to get back into her good side. I knew I needed an in and letter her capture me was just what I needed. She fell for it hook, line and sinker.

It was so simple to control her, especially once I got her into my bed. Oh, I acted like the loving caring boyfriend...but honestly, I don't give a flying fuck about her. I prayed that one of her car explosions took her life so that I could be done with this game. It was getting old.

I almost had her under my total control when she agreed to marry me. I knew once we were married, I could do whatever I needed to crush her soul. My father used fists to control my mom and I would do the same, but I would add my words. I found that when I humiliate and belittle her in public, she gets the same defeated look on her face that my mother always had after a beating. Keeping her depressed and defeated was going to be easy once we were married. It was going to be easy.

Until fucking Mañoso came into the picture. I had her right were I wanted her until he decided he needed to encourage her. He started building her confidence and telling her that she was good. He started looking out for her safety and taking a more "personal" interest in her. Why he would want a fuck up like Steph, I have no clue. It was obvious to anyone who saw them together that they were attracted to each other. No way in hell was that going to happen. He could make her happy and I refused to let that happen.

The last few years have been a struggle to keep her confidence beaten enough for her to think that she needs me in her life. If she just took a step back and looked at my treatment to her, she would realize that she would be so much better off without me. She never did, she was too frightened to be alone. A good bit of information to hold onto for later.

We had spent so much time with the whole off/on relationship that I was getting discouraged. Until recently, I had decided that maybe I was done with her after all and could finally move on. That was until I saw her with Mañoso looking happy and my obsession to see her crushed came back full force. So I worked to get her back right where I needed her.

I had finally gotten her to agree to another relationship and we had even had some good conversations about marriage, I had the fucking ring for Christ's sake. I was finally going to win and have her submitting to me every night. That was until she pulled this latest fucking stunt.

Although it was stupid for her to do it, it gave me a brilliant idea to finally put her in the position I desired her most. I had to have her away from the thugs at RangeMan and Mañoso and now I had the perfect circumstances to make that happen.

It pays to be a good cop, because with one call to a judge that owed me a "favor" (okay, so I bribed him, whatever) I was able to get her medical POA transferred to me; her concerned fiancé. I spoke with her parents and had their backing with my plans. They even accompanied me to the hospital to meet with her doctors.

Everything fell into place perfectly. Her new psychiatrist, Dr. Fisher, was young and beautiful and showed interest in me at the first meeting. I wasn't ashamed to use sex to get what I wanted. If I had to sleep with her to get her on my side then I would. I needed her to do things on the inside for this plan to work. She was more than happy to help after a little "one on one time" in the on-call room. After our sex filled meeting, everything was ready to go. I had my Cupcake right where I wanted her.

Now, watching the three thugs leave my office I started to get worried. I hadn't meant to tell them about the POA change, but they pushed my God damn buttons. They had the resources to find out the whole truth and then my game would be over, it was time to change the rules a little bit. I'm adaptable, I can handle that. Stephanie Plum would be mine and she'll never be happy again. That's a promise.

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A/N - You readers sure know how to make a writer feel good. I am blown away by the response to this story. I am so pleased that so many of you are enjoying it. My plan is to post the next chapter tomorrow. This one was just a bonus because you all are so awesome! : - )


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Not mine, not making money.**

****Posting three days in a row! You guys should feel special. Thank you all so much for your reviews and story favorite/follows. The reception of this story amazes me. I'm so honored that you all are enjoying it so much. Hope you all enjoy the latest chapter!

I would like to thank my biggest cheerleader, Kari, for her continued encouragement! You keep me writing, girl. I'm honored to know such an amazing person, even if it is just through FanFiction!

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**Chapter 10 - Answers**

**SPOV**

Today was the day! I was going to get my answers to the questions that have plagued my mind all night. The more I thought about what happened yesterday, the angrier I got. What right did Joe and my parents have to make decisions for me? I'm a grown ass woman and I'm in charge of my own life, at least I thought I was.

Dr. Fisher, my psychiatrist, was the one who spoke to Joe and my parents at the hospital in Trenton. She'll probably be able to answer most of my question so I guess I'll start with her. My appointment time with her was scheduled for 10:15 am, so I had some time to wait before I could speak with her.

A doctor I hadn't met yet came on the ward and called me back to the treatment room. He introduced himself as Dr. Grimes and told me that he just needed to check my wounds. As he unwrapped the bandages from my arms I felt sick. This was the first time that I was able to see the extent of the damage that I caused myself.

Big ugly red marks went from my wrist up to the middle of my arms. The black stitches stood out in direct contrast to my pale skin. The cuts looked angry and hurt like hell, but Dr. Grimes seemed to think that they were healing nicely. He applied some antibiotic ointment and redressed them with thick gauze. He informed me that I have an order for pain pills if I thought that I needed them. The pain has never been that bad so I didn't think I would need anything for it.

The pain that I did feel helped me grasp the fact that I was still alive. It was kind of comforting to feel pain again.

After a few more generic questions about my health, the doctor left the ward and the aide, I think her name was Amy, walked me to the day room to participate in the morning exercise group. I figured I better do something to keep my self entertained so I joined in with the exercises. I still had about another hour to wait before I got to see Dr. Fisher.

When my appointment time rolled around, it was Jason who was scheduled to sit with me. I'm not sure why, but I was thankful it was him who was with me. He had such an open and caring personality. The little time we spent together yesterday showed me just who he is, and I kinda of like him. He likes to joke around and is constantly laughing about something. I think I feel so comfortable around him because he reminds me so much of Les.

Jason led me behind the nurses station to a big office that the doctors used for their meetings with clients. I took my seat in front of the desk and looked around nervously. I was so far out of my element and comfort zone, I didn't know what to do with myself. Dr. Fisher entered the office a few minutes later with a folder and a cup of coffee. She smiled big as she sat behind the desk.

"Ms. Plum, how was your first night with us?" The doctor asked right away.

"Please call me Stephanie or Steph. Ms. Plum makes me sound old. It was fine, no problems. Didn't sleep very well, but I guess that is to be expected your first night." She smiled again and nodded.

"Unfortunately, yes, that is to be expected. It doesn't help that you're on 1:1 and have someone staring at you while you're trying to sleep. If it lasts much longer, I can order a mild sleeping pill to help." She paused and I nodded in understanding. I knew I wasn't going to be taking a sleeping pill. I hated the way they made me feel the next day.

"Now, let's discuss a little about what brought you here. I have some information that I gathered yesterday from your fiancé and your parents, but why don't you tell me what the events were that led you to try to kill yourself."

"Okay, although I have a problem with you calling him my fiancé. I never agreed to marry Joe Morelli and actually broke up with him the day that all of this happened." I tried not to sound hateful or bitter, but I don't think it worked. She didn't look interested and simply nodded her head for me to start with my story.

I told the doctor everything that happened that day. I didn't hold anything back and it shocked me that she was so uncaring and calm about everything. Her face never gave up one ounce of emotion and there were some parts that she seemed like she didn't believe really happened the way I said. It was almost like she thought I was lying or trying to hide something. She would raise her eyebrow and write furiously on her pad of paper in front of her. Finally after I was finished, she stopped writing and looked at me.

"Stephanie, I understand that you had hard day." A hard fucking day? That's her diagnosis?

"After speaking to Joe, I think I know exactly what's going on with you. You're suffering from major depression and you have many symptoms of RAD, which is reactive attachment disorder. You've seemed to have formed some very unhealthy relationships because of these conditions and I'm here to help you break the pattern of bad behavior. You'll have sessions with Dr. Zakaras every other day and she will help you with the RAD problems. I have no doubt that she can get you over those. She is an excellent doctor. As for the depression, I'm going to prescribe a mild antidepressant. I'm hopeful that the depression will lessen once you come to terms with your attachment issues." She smiled big and began writing on her note pad.

I had no clue what she was talking about. Depression, I guess I could see. I wasn't happy all of the time, but I didn't know anything about attachment disorder. I knew I had some unhealthy relationships, the worst was the ones with Joseph Morelli and my parents. I was willing to end those the first chance I got. We sat quietly as the doctor finished up her notes and I realized I still needed to get some stuff answered. I shook my head to remove the stupor I was feeling.

"Um, I guess I can see the depression and I'll have to learn more about the attachment disorder before I can agree with you on that one." She smiled and nodded now it was time to get some answers.

"I have a few questions for you. Do you have time to answer them for me?" My polite burg manners never failed to show up at the stupidest times.

"Sure, I'll do my best to answer."

"Can you tell me how Joe got to be in charge of my treatment here? As far as I knew, my employer RangeMan held my power of attorney regarding my medical treatment." Her eyebrows shot up when I mentioned RangeMan. Hmmm, interesting.

"I can't answer that. Mr. Morelli had the correct forms signed by a judge so I didn't question it. He is your fiancé so it makes sense that he would be the one to care for you when you were deemed unable to care for yourself." Why does she keep calling him that? Didn't I tell her he means nothing to me?

"He's not my fiancé. He's my ex-boyfriend. How do I get my POA changed?" I was getting angry. "What did he tell you happened that day because I can guarantee he left out some pretty important parts?"

"You seem to be getting upset and need to calm down, Ms. Plum. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about the power of attorney. You are considered incompetent to make your own decisions because of what you did to yourself. Mr. Morelli is willing to help care for you and you need to let him. He's a good man Ms. Plum."

Oh for fuck sake. Is this my mother in disguise? What the hell does she know about Joseph Morelli? I was annoyed and didn't want to go into rhino mode so I brushed off her comments and decided to let it go for now.

"Anything else I can answer for you today?" She was too damn friendly. I wanted to punch her in her perfect face.

"Actually, yes. I need to know how to make some phone calls. I looked for a phone to use, but didn't see one. I also would like to know if I'm allowed to have visitors."

"For the first two weeks you are ward confined while you are 1:1. No visitors or phone calls. No mail either. It's just our way to get the clients acclimated and used to their surroundings early on in their treatment. After the two weeks, of course you can have visitors, send mail and make phone calls. The client phone is located at the nurses station and all you have to do is tell a staff member that you want to place a call and tell them the number, they will dial it for you. Any other questions?"

I thought for a second. The phone thing sounded weird, but I guess it's just the way it's done here. Did I have any other questions? Not that I could think of so I shook my head and the doctor smiled at me.

"Great. Along with your antidepressant, I'm also going to order you an anti-anxiety medication, Ativan, for you to use when ever you feel yourself getting out of control. It will help calm and relax you. You just have to tell either the RN or the LPN that you need it and they'll get it for you. You'll get your antidepressant every day around 7:00 am, so make sure you're up for the medication pass. Thank you for meeting with me and I'll see you next week to discuss any issues you may be having."

She dismissed us from the office and I thought I would feel better after talking with her, but I didn't. I felt uneasy and unsettled. I didn't like the two weeks of isolation, but there was nothing I could do about it. It was policy for every new client. Feeling my unease, Jason smiled at me as he lead me to the day room just in time for another group. The last thing I wanted to do was play cards with people I didn't know, but I knew I had to attend these stupid things if I ever wanted to get out of here.

Thoughts plagued my mind again as I played poker. Well, I didn't really play. I essentially just folded every time so I had time to think about the information Dr. Fisher shared.

There was something off with her. She emphasized every chance she got that Joe was my fiancé. You would think that correcting her one time would be enough, but apparently she thought she knew best. It really bothered me that she acted like Joe was a saint. Even when I told her about the abuse and sexual assault. She even rolled her eyes a few times.

Her looks of doubt when I was telling her about that day are what kept running through my mind. Why would she think I was lying about what happened? She said she talked to Joe so he could confirm at least his part of it. Although I honestly doubt he told her the whole truth. My spidey sense was running crazy and I couldn't figure out why. I knew it had something to do with the good doctor and her conversations with Joe. I just couldn't put my finger on what was exactly wrong or what was going on. It was annoying the crap out of me.

It was something to think about for the next two weeks while I'm confined to this place. I needed the help of my Merry Men and had to wait before I could call them. That's fine. My mandatory imprisonment gave me thirteen days to think long and hard about a whole lot of things. Two weeks wasn't that long, was it?

**Tank's POV**

I have never been so angry at myself in my entire life. I didn't even think about putting guards on Steph's door while she was in ICU. We do it to protect the person who is unable to protect themselves, but since the danger to Steph was herself I didn't even think about it. Now, I have to face the facts that I fucked up and lost her.

When Santos, Brown and I got back to the hospital and found her gone, we did everything we could to find out where she went and who allowed her to go. No one would tell us anything. Not even Brown, who had personal contacts inside the hospital, could find out useful information.

The RangeMan attorneys were working on the medical POA situation. How Morelli found a judge stupid enough to cross Ranger was amazing. All of the judges in Trenton knew and respected RangeMan and it's owner. They did everything they could to support our company and often made our little indiscretions disappear. Whoever turned on us is going to pay. I hope they realize the shit storm that was coming to their front door.

The guys and I stayed at the hospital asking questions for most of the day. We finally gave up and only had a little bit of information. A former fling of Les' said she saw a private ambulance from Princeton Behavioral Hospital leave around the time that we suspected Steph was taken. That had to be her leaving.

We all left and headed back to the office. Brown closed himself into his office and researched the programs at Princeton and narrowed down where she might be. Les went directly down to his apartment. He was taking this whole thing the hardest. It was killing him not knowing where she is or what happened to her. He really does care about our Bomber.

I closed myself in my office and got to work on RangeMan business. As much as my heart wasn't in to working, I knew that it had to be done if the guys wanted to get paid this week. Damn Ranger leaving me all this shit to do.

My phone rang about 4 hours later. I was deep in a pile of expense reports and thanked whoever was on the other end for the small distraction. The attorneys informed me that it was Judge Anderson that signed the medical POA papers for Joe. He gave some sob story about being her fiancé and needed to care for her while she was sick. Her parents were even there and backed him. There is a special place in hell for those two worthless people. The only thing they did right was give life to the amazing person that is Stephanie.

Our lives would be substantially darker without her here. She's brought so much happiness to us big bad mercenaries and especially Ranger. I've known him for many years and I can't think of a time when he was happier. He has loved this little girl from the Burg since the moment he met her. I remember that night like it was yesterday. He returned from that first meeting smiling. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't seen him smile in years. After that, I knew it wouldn't be too long before they got their shit together.

Sadly it took 4 years for them to realize what was right in front of them; and just think, they almost lost the opportunity. I knew once Ranger got back and admitted out loud to Steph how he felt, it would take an act of God to get them apart. Their love was the forever kind of love. The kind you only see in movies or read about in stories. I was jealous about what they had and decided it was time to get my shit together and find the same thing. I, at one time, thought Lula was that person for me. But her dismissal of Stephanie last night was enough for me to forget all about her. You don't turn your back on your friends, no matter how mad you may be at them. Stephanie taught me that.

After getting the information from the attorney, I passed on the judge's name to Silvio in Miami for him to research. I wanted the works done on him and next to Steph, he was the best research analyst we had. It didn't take him long to get the information back to me. What I read didn't impress me. There was absolutely nothing negative. This judge was squeaky clean. I wondered how Joe got to him.

We spent the next few days calling every contact we had to get information on Morelli, the judge, and the hospital where Steph was staying. Sadly we got absolutely nowhere. Every shred of information we had led us to a brick wall. We weren't allowed to visit Stephanie, we tried calling the ward where we suspected her to be and we're told nothing. They couldn't confirm or deny that she was a patient there. It was freaking frustrating.

Les spent every evening driving to the hospital to try to get in to visit her, but was never allowed past the front gates. We were all exhausted but we refused to give up. We refused to turn our backs on the one person that loved us unconditionally. We kept digging and kept fighting, until Morelli called and shattered our world. Now, there was nothing left to fight for.

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A/N - I realize that I left this at a terrible spot, but that's where the story led me. Unfortunately, you guys are going to have to wait a few chapters before finding out what Morelli called about.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer - I own nothing, but I'll gladly take the Merry Men and Ranger from JE. I'll treat them better than she does.**

Thank you for all the reviews! You guys are awesome! I'm so excited that you are enjoying reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. It was suggested that since I left yesterday's chapter with a cliffy, I owed you all this chapter today for being mean. You all have **sbabe** to thank for getting this a day early. I hate being called mean : )

This chapter deals with a lot of Steph's treatment in the hospital. I've broken her down, now I have to build her back up. It's going to be a process, but we'll get it done. While her psychologist is fictional, the words of advice and what Stephanie realizes about her life are real. Many of the thoughts Stephanie has in this chapter were real for me and helped in my healing process.

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**Chapter 11 - Waiting**

**SPOV**

Fifty-three days, eighteen hours and twenty-two minutes. That's how long I've been stuck here. I spent the first two weeks on 1:1 observation. I had a constant shadow of an aide beside me twenty-four hours a day. They watched me shower, use the bathroom, they watched me while I watched TV. They even watched while I slept. You would think that that would creep me out, but I guess I'm used to it. Ranger used to sneak into my room and watch me sleep. He never told me that he did this and I never let on that I knew. It was comforting when he was there. I miss that comfort.

Once the first two weeks were done, the doctors deemed me sane enough to lose my shadows. They decreased me to close observation. Instead of someone right beside me, I had someone check on me every 15 minutes. Didn't matter where I was or what I was doing. I knew every 15 minutes I would have someone, aide or RN, come and look at me. They didn't always say anything to me, but they did have to see my face and/or hands. You can imagine my distaste of being woken up every 15 minutes just so someone could make sure I wasn't trying to harm myself. I think I would rather have someone sitting right next to me again.

After three weeks of that hell, I was taken off all forms of observation. There was a general "face check" done every hour during the day and every 30 minutes at night that everyone had to deal with, but it wasn't too bad. At least they didn't wake me up anymore.

The stitches in my arms came out during my time on 1:1. The doctor looked impressed with the healing, but told me that I would always have the scars. He doubted that even a plastic surgeon could remove them permanently. That was okay. I didn't like the way that they looked, but I liked having a reminder of what can happen when I allow myself to become that weak. I was going to look at them daily for a long time.

Life has been interesting the past 2 months. All my days are exactly the same. Wake up at 6:30 am (uggh...I know), fast shower, breakfast, morning exercise group, meet doctors, small group therapy, lunch, afternoon activity group (game time), free time (I nap or run), dinner, evening group movie, small group therapy, fast shower, in bed by 10:00 PM. Every day it's the same thing. Could my life be any more boring?

The group sessions have helped me a lot. I've gotten to know many of the clients here with me and found that some people are just as messed up as I am. Crazy shit happens to people everyday and there's nothing they can do about it. Some of their stories of survival amaze me. They are helping me see just how fortunate I am. I still have my physical health and there are at least a few people out there who care about me. I have friends on the inside as well as on the outside.

My friendship with Jason has been a godsend. We fell into such an easy relationship and neither one of us questioned it. I think it was so easy for me because he reminds me so much of a Merry Men. He wasn't ex-military, but he is a health and exercise nut. He even has the same damn ESP abilities. All he has to do is look at me and he can tell what I'm thinking.

He makes it a point each day that he's at work to spend at least a little time with me chatting. Sometimes the talks are deep and emotional and sometimes they are silly and pointless. Whatever they are, I've come to enjoy our daily talks.

I found out that he's taking some college courses at night to become a licensed counselor. He thinks he's too old to go for his doctorate, but he wants to do something to help people like me. I give him all the encouragement that I can because he has been a blessing to me for the past two months. He's let me yell at him when I was pissed and he let me cry on him when I needed to. He's been there for me through a whole crap ton of emotions.

My psychologist, Dr. Zakaras, is amazing. She is helping me understand the importance of self-worth and self-esteem. I am finally learning to love me for who I am. I'm no longer going to let outside influences affect me like I did. She told me the very first day we met _"Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It's not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period." _

I couldn't believe when she spoke those words. It was like she looked into my soul and knew exactly how I felt and acted. I used to blame those outside influences for my actions or for the negative outcomes of my choices. It was so easy to blame my parents or my job for a crappy day, when honestly it was my choice to let those things affect me negatively. My famous phrase of "it's not my fault" was so far from the truth that it was sad. It was my fault.

Her words have become the driving force that makes me get out of bed every day and strive to get healthy again. She's help me understand about my part in the events of that day two months ago. While the people who choose to hurt me had a significant impact on my choices, what they did did not MAKE me try to kill myself. I was the one who had the ultimate control of my destiny that night. My unhealthy thought process were the real cause and those are something that I can control. I will never be able to make people treat me better, but I've learned that their treatment of me can't guide my actions. I can't let their opinions of me affect me like I have in the past. That's a dangerous way to live my life.

She's also helped me understand the RAD diagnosis. Growing up hearing that you're a constant disappointment and worthless tend to effect your self-esteem when you get older. I felt that my parents abandoned me when I was younger because I never had their support or their love. Since I didn't have that normal bond with my parents, I grew up not trusting in many people. When I did finally trust someone, it usually blew up in my face. The constant let down by those people that I chose to trust just kept shattering my self-esteem and confidence.

Take Joe for an example. I trusted him when I was six and he abused me. It took me ten years for me to open myself up to him again and he once again abused that trust and took my virginity. You would think I would learn, but nope. Almost fifteen years later, I once again gave Joe Morelli my trust and he once again used it and abused it. With each hateful or demeaning word he kept my confidence beaten, yet I thought that I needed him so I let him treat me like shit. He may not have ever physically abused me all the years we were together in our off/on thing, but the emotional abuse that he heaped on me was just as dangerous.

Sadly, he wasn't the only one laying on the emotional warfare. There were many more people throughout my life who I thought I could trust, and all they did was disappoint me.

After all the disappointments and let downs in my life, my self-esteem and confidence were nonexistent. Since I didn't love (or even like) myself, I learned to rely on other people to give me encouragement to make me feel better or to feel needed. That's not how you're supposed to live. You should want to get encouragement from other people, but you should not rely on it to the point where it's a necessity to live. I learned this the hard way. Since I relied on these people so heavily ,I was counting on their support to live. When I lost that support, I lost my grip on my life. That is where the suicide attempt came into play.

Since coming here, I've learned that I no longer need anyone to feel good about myself. With Dr. Zakaras' help, I've been able to start the process of building my self-esteem to a healthy level and I'm slowly learning how to love me for me. It's amazing what you can accomplish in just two months, but I've had dedicated people around me that have encouraged me every step of the way. Jason was one of those people and Dr. Zakaras was the other.

I'm going to miss our meetings when I finally get to leave here. Dr. Zakaras has become a close friend. She's encourages me to form friendships with those who deserve them. She also encourages me to leave those people who don't deserve my trust in the past. She is a firm believer of being in charge of the people you allow around to influence you. If they are not a positive influence in your life then you don't need them. Easy as that. I've done a lot of growing since meeting her.

My psychiatrist, on the other hand is the complete opposite. Dr. Fisher and I haven't really gotten along that well. Since she is the one in charge of my medication and final treatment decisions, I try to be friendly to her. It's been really hard to keep my Jersey girl opinions locked down. She seems almost cold at times and unconcerned with my progress. When I tell her what I'm doing to get well, she insist that I still have a long way to go to full recovery.

She encourages me to get better, but likes to add that having a supportive spouse would make my life so much easier. She does everything she can to push the need for me to marry and use my husband for emotional support. Most of our sessions are about the relationship between Joe and I. She still insists that he is my fiancé and refused to call him anything but that. I got to the point where I don't even disagree with her because I'm tired of hearing the same shit. She sounds just like my mother, it's really scary.

She agrees with Dr. Zakaras in one area though. She agrees that there are people that I need to remove from my life. It's too bad that we disagree who those people are. She encourages me to become closer to Joe and my parents and she disapproves of my relationship with the Merry Men. Not that I have much of a relationship with them anymore.

The first two weeks, I wasn't allowed to communicate with anyone outside the hospital. I understood and didn't worry too much about it, but after the two weeks I expected visitors and calls. I got none. My parents and Joe, I assumed, would want to see me since they are in charge of my treatment, but I found out that they are just talking to Dr. Fisher and dealing with her about my progress. That shouldn't surprise me, but it still kind of hurt. They are my parents, after all, and Joe is still calling himself my fiancé, yet they don't call or visit. Sure, makes perfect sense, right?

The absence of the Merry Men hurt me the most. I expected Les, Bobby and Tank to be here the minute they were allowed inside to see me. I mean, they told me that they cared about me that morning in the hospital. I thought they were being sincere, maybe I was wrong. Dr. Fisher is encouraging me to distance myself from them while I'm here. She seems to think that I have an unhealthy friendship with them and Ranger. I really don't care what she thinks.

I've tried calling RangeMan and each of their cell phones, with staff's assistance of course, but I can't seem to get through. When an aide dials, I get the annoying tones and the stupid mechanical voice saying that the number is no longer in service. I find it hard to believe that all the guys changed their numbers at the same time. I thought the staff was dialing the wrong numbers so I gave them the number to my apartment, just to test my theory, and got my answering machine so I guess they're dialing all the numbers correctly.

I can't understand what's going on, but I'm trying really hard not to let it hinder the progress I've made. I would love to talk to Les or Ranger, but I don't need to too feel happy.

I've grown to understand that I don't need them close to feel good. I am learning to be content with being by myself. I'm learning to rely on no one but myself. It's been tough, but I'm managing it. Yet, just because I may not need them, it didn't mean I didn't want them. I still want them in my life.

Their silence during my treatment didn't send me into another suicide spiral like I thought it would in the beginning. I learned to live without them the past two months. I was dealing with my emotions and I was actually getting better. I still loved Ranger with every ounce of my being and held on to the hope that he was coming back for me, but I've learned to love and respect myself first and foremost. Doing this has made me stronger both mentally and physically. I decided in order to respect to myself properly, I needed to take better care of me. Wouldn't the guys die if they could see me exercising willingly.

I use the free time in the evening and the morning exercise group to help tone my muscles and stay fit. We sometimes head to the weight room and gym for the morning group and I get to work on strength training. I also run around the grounds in the evening. It's all behind a tall fence so I can't go too far, but it's not too bad. It helps me clear my head and makes me really happy. Exercise releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy. That's why you never hear about exercise gurus being depressed or going on shooting rampages.

I've also noticed positive changes in my body. I've never looked this good. I'm starting to get a four pack on my stomach from all the sit-ups I do before going to bed. The Merry Men are going to be impressed, if I ever get to see them again.

I spoke with my treatment team earlier today and they all agreed that I've made tremendous progress. My medication has worked to stabilized my moods and I have learned to control the negative thoughts when I have them. Most of the team thinks I'm ready to be released, unfortunately that isn't up to me or them.

Joe has that honor and he still feels like I could benefit from more treatment in the facility. He didn't even have the balls to show up at my meeting to talk to me before deciding to keep me here. Of course, when Dr. Fisher agreed with his decision it was final.

So now I have to wait for another month before I could possibly get out of here. Another whole freaking month of nothing but waiting. That's the next time my treatment team is going to meet. I asked Dr. Fisher to see if Joe could be here for that meeting. I want to be able to talk to him at least since he was in charge of my care. She couldn't promise anything, but said that she would speak to him. We'll have to see what happens then.

All I can do now is wait. While I wait, I have time. Time to plan my revenge on those that hurt me. Time to plan exactly what I'm going to do when I finally break free of this place and can return to my life. I left Trenton a poor broken excuse of a woman, but I'm coming back fighting and people better watch the fuck out.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Thanks again for all the awesome reviews. I'm glad you are still enjoying this story. We've still got a ways to go, but we're on the down hill slope now. I've gotten all of the chapters written, just need to edit and they'll be good to go. I'll probably be updating every day now that I've finished the whole story. Not that you all will complain about that : )

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**Chapter 12 - Visitor**

There are some days where you just know you should stay in bed. Something told me that today was one of those days. Ever since the wake up call at 6:30 I've had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. The feeling that tells me that something bad is going to happen. I had the same feeling three days ago when I went to my treatment team meeting. I had hoped that they were going to release me, but as you can tell that didn't happen.

I held out as long as I could getting out of bed and getting dressed for the day. The aides on the ward didn't like when someone made the group late to breakfast and I didn't want to get left behind again. As nasty as the food is, I wanted my morning cup of coffee and this was the only way to get it.

I sat quietly at my table with three other women from the ward. I've talked with them some and have gotten to know them well. I share very little information with them and they understand. Each of them have been in the program before and tell me that my feelings for privacy is normal. One woman, Kari, and I have become close friends. She's been forced to face such sadness and despair in her short life and yet she survives. We can relate to each other on many levels so we spend some days just talking about our lives. I use her for encouragement and I hope she knows she can use me too. I truly enjoy talking with her. I hope when we get out of this hell hole, we can remain close. I'm going to need some friends when I get out.

I still haven't heard from anyone from the outside. I wonder daily where my guys from RangeMan are. My psychiatrist keeps telling me that they are not worth my time and that they were just interested in sex. Sounds just like the crap Joe has been spewing for years. I wonder where she's getting her information from.

I was lost in my thoughts when Jason tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped and sloshed coffee all over my shirt.

"Plum, it looks like you have a visitor. Do you want to go back to the ward and get anything or just head to the visiting room?" he asked with a grin. All the aides know that I've been waiting for someone to visit me. I prayed that it was Ranger or at least one of the other guys.

"I need to go back to the ward." I jumped up and he led me out of the locked doors to the ward door and let me back in. I rushed to my bedroom and grabbed a cuter outfit than what I put on this morning and ran to the bathroom. I took a 5 minute shower and tamed the beast that is my hair by pulling it back into a messy ponytail; applied some make up and was ready to go.

Jason led me off the ward and to a special room that was specifically for family visits. It had huge comfy couches and looked very warm and inviting. Too bad the person sitting on the couch was the last person I wanted to see.

Joe Morelli sat back with a smug grin on his face and waited for me to enter the room and take a seat next to him. Jason, seeing my obvious discomfort with Joe stood by the door inside the room. He was supposed to leave the room so we had privacy, but Joe didn't know that.

"Cupcake, you look well." Joe tried to lean and kiss me, but I turned and all he got was my cheek. I sat uncomfortably wringing my hands in my lap. I couldn't imagine what Joe had to say to me. He looked angry by my obvious brush off.

"Well, I just wanted to pass some news off to you. I know you hate me right now Steph, but you need to learn to forgive me. I'm all you got left, Cupcake. You're going to need me after I tell you what I came to say." I was confused and worried. What did he mean he's all I got left?

"Just say what you're going to say and leave, Joe. I will never forgive or forget what you did and I have plenty of people in my life who aren't you. I don't now and will never need you."

"Really? Who are those people? I know for a fact that no one has been here to visit you and from what Dr. Fisher says you haven't gotten any phone calls either. Where are your friends from RangeMan? Where are your Merry Men?" Joe sneered. "Face it Cupcake. They don't care. They were so embarrassed by your weakness that they dropped you cold. They changed their numbers and refuse to talk to you. I heard two of them in Pino's yesterday laughing about the pathetic Bomber and how sad it is that you are even still alive. You were only there for entertainment and they got tired of it."

I thought about Joe's words. It couldn't be true. Les and the guys loved me. Some more than others, but I know they at least cared. They would protect me at all costs. Right? Seeing the doubt in my eyes, Joe took the opportunity to continue.

"They only protected you because they had to. They were ordered by Mañoso to keep you safe and now that he is gone, they don't have to bother with you anymore."

My breath caught in my throat. "What do you mean, he's gone? He's on a mission for the government. He'll be back."

"Nope." He said popping the P. "Got word today that he was killed three days ago. Enemy fire got him right through the heart. He's not coming back this time Cupcake."

Joe's words kept bouncing around in my mind. I sat shocked. I didn't move or speak or breath. Ranger's not dead. He can't be. He was going to come home and we were going to have our someday. I looked deep in Joe's eyes, looking for anything to give me hope that he was lying. I didn't see anything. He was serious. It was true. Ranger was dead.

There was no holding back the tears as I thought about this. My hope and dreams were crushed in one phrase. Ranger is dead. My Batman, my shelter, my rock, my love is gone. I began sobbing as Joe pulled me into his embrace. His hard exterior softened as he stroked my hair and spoke softly to me. I took his comfort because I needed someone and he was the only one here.

"It will be okay, Cupcake. I'm here. You still have me. I'll never leave you." He kept repeating that over and over as he rocked me gently. I clung to him like a frightened child to their mother. I felt like a frightened child. I felt lost.

I don't know how long I let Joe hold me and soothe my tears, but I eventually pulled myself out of his embrace and looked at him. His eyes glistened with tears and showed the love he had for me. He gently wiped a tear off my cheek and leaned in and kissed my lips. I didn't back away and leaned into him. Maybe he does really love me. Maybe I have been too tough on him. Maybe he is the only option that I have left. I might not need someone to make myself feel good, but I wanted to be loved. I wanted to feel needed. Joe was all I had left. What he did wasn't so bad. Maybe I could forgive and forget. That's part of healing, right?

"Cupcake, I know you cared about Mañoso, but he's gone. He won't be sweeping in to rescue you." Joe looked directly into my eyes and continued to wipe the stray tears that fell. "Let me be your super hero. Let me be the one who rescues you now. Please, Steph. Let me love you."

Could I let any of that happen? Could I just dismiss my feelings for Ranger that quickly and move on? I was so confused. I needed time to think and to mourn. I needed to get out of this room.

"I'm sorry Joe. I'm not ready to let you do any of that yet. You hurt me, terribly, and I'm not ready to forgive you just yet. I'm not sure if I'll ever forgive you. I didn't just care about Ranger, I loved him more than anyone I've ever loved. I'm not sure what I'm going to do without him." I tried to remain calm so he understood that I meant exactly what I said. My voice sounded so defeated because that's exactly how I felt.

Anger flashed in his eyes and he got that same look that he had at the police station the day two months ago. I was suddenly scared of Joe and I was thankful for Jason being there. He was still standing by the door with a concerned look on his face.

"Damn it Cupcake. Why can't you just forget about Mañoso? What makes him so fucking special? He's dead. Get over it. I'm all you got left and I'm not going to wait forever. You need to marry me and let me take care of you. You know this is true." He just didn't get that I don't want to marry him. He probably never would.

"What's so special about him? I don't have that much time to tell you what is so special about Ricardo Carlos Mañoso. He was," my voice cracked and new tears fell, "the love of my life; the other half of my soul and I will never be able to forget him. Just like I will never marry you, Joe."

"Love of your life?" Joe scoffed. "Please Cupcake. You don't even know him. Just be thankful that he died before he embarrassed you by dumbing you out with the trash after he was done using you. All he wanted was to get into your pants." He sat back and glared at me with fire in his eyes.

"Think about it this way, Cupcake. You have no one left. It's me or no one. Are you willing to stay here by yourself? I can get you out of here and help you heal at our home. All you have to do is say that you'll marry me."

"Fuck you Joe. I told you a hundred times, that we're DONE. I. WILL. NEVER. MARRY. YOU. Get that through your thick skull. Ranger was a million times the man that you are and you will not replace him in my heart. Now, leave. I would rather die here alone then spend one day with you as your wife." I stood and approached Jason who was opening the door for us to go back to the ward.

"Fine, Steph. Maybe you are better off dead. God knows no one would miss your pathetic ass. Look at yourself. Who would want you now?" Joe yelled as I walked slowly down the hallway. Jason tried to help guide me through the doors, but I still stumbled a few times. I was numb. He looked nervous as he spoke.

"Steph, I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but I have to report this all to Dr. Fisher. She will probably want to put you on suicide watch again. You just got some bad news and we'll want to make sure you're safe."

That was the straw that broke the camels back. I didn't want someone watching me as I mourned. I wanted to be left alone so I could curl into a ball and cry. I didn't need a babysitter for that, but I knew that it would happen if they thought I would harm myself. Honestly, right now, I couldn't promise you that I wouldn't try to harm myself again.

Joe knew the exact words to use to cause me the most damage. He knew exactly what to say to make me doubt the feelings that I had for the Merry Men. The news about Ranger's death hurt the most. My heart was once again laying in pieces in my chest. That pain from two months ago was back and I wanted it to go way. I needed to feel nothing again.

I blame my raw emotions and my pent up anger from seeing Joe for what happened next. I knew any form of aggression was frowned upon and the staff would protect themselves and the other clients if they had to, but right then I didn't care.

I screamed as loud as I could and grabbed the first thing I saw, which happened to be a ceramic vase that held fake flowers. With every ounce of frustration, anger and pure rage I felt; I threw the vase as hard as I could and watch as it sailed through a large plate glass window between the day room and the hallway.

Immediately I was taken down to the floor by two staff and my instincts kicked in, so I fought them with every thing I had. I picked to fight when given the choice between that and flight.

Quickly I was physically restrained by the large men on the ward that day. Jason was on one side and Allen was on the other. They held my arms behind me and another couple aides were at my feet trying to control them. All four of the aides carried me into a room that held a single bed. I was placed on the bed and my hands were placed into leather cuffs that were attached to belts. The belts were attached to the top corners of the bed. I still fought and cried and screamed. My ankles were then placed in similar cuffs that were attached by straps to the lower corners. Another belt was looped around my waist and then tied to the middle of the bed. I had no choice but to calm down.

The only thing I could move was my head which I turned away from the people in the room and cried. I felt everyone but one person leave the room and then glanced as Jason grabbed a chair and sat beside the bed. I knew that it was policy to be on 1:1 when in restraints. He looked at me with pity and started to speak, but stopped himself. I didn't care what he had to say.

The nurse came in after a few minutes with a syringe and injected what ever was in it in my right hip. All I could do was lay there and cry. Cry for my life that was over, cry for Ranger, cry for my dreams that died with him. After a few minutes a heavy darkness crept over me. Whatever the RN gave me was working and I was going under. I finally calmed and went to sleep, but even in sleep I was haunted by my thoughts of Ranger. Oh, God. How was I going to live without him?

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A/N - I promised a HEA and I guarantee it's going to happen. Trust me! : )


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Not mine...**

**Thank you all again for the amazing reviews! They are the reason that I'm pushing to get this story out. I hate to have you guys hanging. I'm glad you all hate Joe just as much as I do...lol!**

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**Chapter 13 - New Understanding**

Ugh! What the hell happened to me now? I feel like I got run over, again. I hate waking up confused and disoriented. At least I know where I am this time, I just don't know why I feel like this. I tried to move, but found that my hands and feet were restrained to the bed and so was my waist. I tried to lift my head off the bed to look around, but it felt like it weighed 100 pounds so all I could do was turn it slowly and peer at the aide sitting beside me. I didn't recognize her, but that was nothing new. She must have seen that I was awake because she yelled for the nurse.

Pete, the evening shift RN, came in and smiled at me. "Glad to see you're awake, Steph. Are you ready to come out of restraints?" He busied himself, checking the cuffs attached to my wrists and ankles. I have no clue what he was looking for, but I didn't really care either.

"I guess so, but I don't really remember what happened to get me here." I sounded horse and my eyes burned like I had cried for hours. Pete looked at me concerned and left the room. "Can you tell me what I did?" I asked the aide.

"Sorry Ms. Plum, I can't. I think your doctor is coming to talk to you soon." She was friendly but extremely unhelpful. Typical.

I think I laid there tied to the bed for another two hours before Dr. Fisher finally made an appearance. She excused the aide to speak with me privately. Then she proceeded to make my world crumble all over again.

"Ms. Plum, what can you remember from this morning?" Her perfectly manicured eyebrow were arched in question. I hated this woman. I couldn't remember a whole lot, my mind was so fuzzy. I shrugged my shoulders.

"You don't remember a visit from your fiancé? He was here today to speak with you. Do you remember what you talked about?" She gave me a few minutes to try to force the conversation to the front of my brain.

Suddenly it all came back to me...the hurtful words Joe said...every emotion, every feeling...the unbearable pain...it all came back. All I could do was turn my head away from the doctor and cry. I couldn't curl into my ball or even wipe my eyes. I just laid there, letting the tears run down my face and onto the mattress behind me.

It wasn't true, couldn't be true. Why wouldn't one of my Merry Men come and tell me if it was true? Unless they really were ashamed of me. Maybe I really did disappoint them too much this time. Everyone has a limit and I just might have pushed them past theirs.

"So you do remember. Good. Makes my job easier. We will not tolerate your behavior Ms. Plum. You attacked two aides because you were so out of control. Do you think you're in control of your emotions now?"

I was so confused, so lost. What the hell is going on? I hate feeling like this. I was doing so well and now this shit happens. I start to feel the walls closing in on me and I suddenly can't breath. Dr. Fisher is still beside me watching the emotions and fears run across my face. She can see me struggling to catch my breath and calls for the nurse. I hear her order another shot of the "happy drug" that they gave me before, but I don't want to be knocked out again.

"No, I don't want to go back to sleep. Please, I need to deal with this. I won't fight. I just need to work through the emotions and I would like to do that alone." I practically begged her to let me out of restraints so I could mourn in peace.

She looked at me through disappointed eyes and smiled. "I'm sorry Ms. Plum. Your fiancé still thinks you're a danger to yourself. Mr. Morelli has made it clear that you are to remain here, just like this, until you're ready to become what he needs."

What the FUCK! What Joe needs is a swift kick in his "boys" and then a fist or two in the face. I can't believe he still has this much control over me. How can they keep me locked up like this? I was beyond pissed. I hated not being in charge of my life. I hated that decisions were being made for me.

"Mr. Morelli can go to hell. I will never become what he needs." I glared right into the shocked doctors eyes. "You can tell him the answer is still no. I will rot right here in this bed before agreeing to marry him. Tell him that while you're fucking him tonight."

I heard the doctor gasp. She didn't deny my claims. Instead she turned sharply on her ugly heels and walked out of my room. The aide that replaced her in the room with me was smiling. Great, now I get to be someone else's entertainment. I could hear the doctor and the RN talking right outside the door, and then he was at my bedside with a syringe. The last thing I heard before Pete injected me was that I was to stay in restraints for another 24 hours because I was still hysterical and not in control of my emotions.

As I began to drift off from the medication, I felt so alone with no one around me but my thoughts and my memories of my love. I would stay asleep forever if I could see Ranger in all of my dreams. I guess from now on, my dreams are the only place I'll see him. I let that thought comfort me as I let the darkness surround me.

Waking up again wasn't as confusing this time. I was still restrained and Jason was back sitting with me. That must mean that I slept all evening and through the night. "What time and day is it?" I had to know for sure.

"10:00 AM on Thursday." I nodded my head. Yep, slept all day and night. It was this time yesterday that my world was taken from me. About twenty-four hours ago, I learned that my life would never be the same. The person that I loved more than life was gone.

The dark thoughts began to whisper again. Those same dark words that only they have the balls to speak. Those words that are almost convincing again...but I've come too damn far to listen to them again. I silenced them this time. I was stronger and even though the thought of living without Ranger hurt beyond belief; I knew that I could survive. It was going to take time, but I could and will do it.

I sat looking at Jason and I remember that he was the one that brought me back to the ward and the one that I supposedly assaulted.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you yesterday, Jason. I can't believe that I acted that way." I tried to smile, but my face just wouldn't cooperate. All I got was a head nod, and he went back to writing on his clipboard.

I'm glad he didn't want to talk about what happened. I didn't need reminding of just what I lost yesterday. The hole in my chest, where my heart used to beat, is enough to remind me. The conversation that I had with Joe yesterday started running through my head again. As I laid there, I thought about what he said. After all, what the hell else could I do? I was stuck tied to this damn bed for who knows how long.

Was Joe telling me the truth about the Merry Men? I've tried calling and can't get through to anyone. My letter's have all been sent back, and I haven't had one visit. Common sense says that what Joe said was true, but something deep down in my heart told me that it was all bullshit. Yet, what if what he said was true?

If they really wanted nothing more to do with me then I truly didn't have anyone left. No friends, no family, no one who cared...except Joe. Fuck! Has it really came down to Joe being my saving grace? Do I let him be my hero?

"If you even think about going back to that ass hole, then you're not the woman I thought you were, Steph." Jason must have seen my internal struggle. I guess I am easy to read, either that or he has ESP too. He could easily be a Merry Man. He's built and good-looking and remains calm during a crisis.

I turned to look at him and saw his face full of concern. He was there and heard what Joe said to me. "I didn't like him the moment I walked into the room with you. You need to get better and then prove to him and everyone else that you don't need them. You can do that, Steph. YOU. DON'T. NEED. THEM. The other guys are ass holes too. RangeMan can go to hell. You deserve to be treated so much better." Well damn, tell me how you really feel.

While I didn't quite agree about RangeMan being assholes. I'm still confused where they're concerned. It's true that I don't need them or anyone else for that matter.

"It's just makes me angry to know that the guys abandoned me. They were supposed to be my friends." I tried to explain my feelings to him.

"Yeah, but people can only disappoint you if you let them. If you didn't rely on them so much then they couldn't hurt you this bad. You are a strong woman, Stephanie Plum. You don't need people in your life who don't understand that."

"Thanks, J. You're starting to sound like Dr. Zakaras, but I hear what you're saying." He smiled at my new nickname for him and we went back into silent mode.

I returned to my thoughts about Ranger and about the guys. A part of me died along with Ranger. I'm not sure if I'll ever be the same without him, but I'm going to try. He would want me to go on, right?

My Merry Men were a whole other problem for me to deal with. I can't accept that they would just abandon me. I didn't believe what Joe told me. Maybe I am living in denial land about them. I mean, would I really want to be my friend right now? Probably not, so why would they want to be around me? I need to get my self healthy and then fight to get my friends back. If they don't want to be around me when I'm back to normal, then I'll be able to accept that and move on.

Now, what the hell am I going to do about Joe? We've been a part of each other lives since we were kids. We grew up together. I have loved him for years. At one time, I wanted to be married to him and have his babies. Those days are gone. I didn't know what love really was until I met Ranger. He taught me how to truly love someone and no one will ever take his place in my heart. He succeeded his mission all those years ago. He ruined me for all other men.

You don't really have to love someone to live with them as a spouse right? I mean, I can tolerate Joe. I could marry him and cook him meals. I could have his babies. I could grow to love him enough to make it work, right? According to Dr. Fisher, that's what I had to do to get out of here.

It puzzles me why she thinks that he's the best option for me. What does it matter to her who or if I marry? My spidey sense starts to tingle when I think about her and Joe. They are working together, that much is clear. I just don't know why. What could she possibly gain by doing this? Orgasms? Joe isn't that good in bed. Ranger, definitely, but not Joe. She has to be getting something else. I would think her license to practice was worth more to her than a bad night of sex.

Jason's words from earlier came back to me. It's the same thing that my psychologist has been telling me too. I am too dependent on other people. It's almost like I crave the acceptance of people, but I need to learn to only need the acceptance of myself. I'm working and I've come along way in understanding just that. I also need to remove some of the negative people from my life.

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone. After I get out of here, I'm going to start by removing the people who make me feel that way. If at the end of the day, after everyone I knew is gone and I'm l alone, I will learn to go on without anyone beside me. I will survive without them because they did nothing but bring me down. The new Stephanie Plum is going to live her life, with or without certain people. I refuse to run or to hide any longer. It's time to fight for myself.

First things first though. I had to get the hell out of here and I realized what I had to do to make that happen. I had to marry Joseph Morelli.

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A/N - Just a note about Jason. Many of you are confused about his "friendship". Just understand that he's only getting one side of the story. I've been in the exact same position as he is in and jumped to the same conclusions he has. He redeems himself soon. : )


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Still not mine and never will be, sigh!**

Two posting in one day! You all have done such an amazing job with the reviews that I felt you needed a reward. That also means that you are one chapter closer to the Merry Men reunion. Finally! That will be posted tomorrow! Not sure about early or later in the evening. : )

Loving everything about your reactions to this story. It makes me so happy to know that so many of you are as hooked on reading it as I was on writing it. Enjoy the latest!

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**Chapter 14 - Discharged**

Six freaking months. Six long ass god damn hellish months I've spent in the Princeton behavioral hospital. It doesn't seem like it has been that long, but the days are starting to get longer and I don't know how many more I can last. My sanity is slowly starting to give.

After hearing about the death of Ranger, I spent three days in restraints. Three days tied to a bed on my back gave me a lot of time to think. Even being me, I couldn't sleep that long. After being released from the restraints I was once again placed on 1:1 so I had my shadows back.

The time I spent with Jason was helpful. He was quickly becoming a close friend. He helped me understand the importance of survival. He helped me see that I had no other option but to continue to live.

After I got off the 1:1, I became a new person. I was determined to become stronger. I was determined to become the Stephanie Plum that everyone used to love. I was determined to become myself again. At night and during my free time, I was forced to spend time alone with my thoughts. They once scared me, but now I've grown to love the quiet time with my mind.

I thought about Ranger and what he would want from me. He would want me to be strong and to survive without him. I was going to get the hell out of this hospital and then I would make something better out of my life. That is how I will honor the memory of the man that I loved...still love.

I often thought of the Merry Men too. They still haven't came to see me or called. I still can't call them and after the first three months of trying, I finally gave up. I stopped writing letters to them because they just got returned. I had to face the facts that they were no longer a part of my life. Their silence during this time still hurts me, but I will learn to live without them too.

Joe has visited me at least once a month. After the first couple months of arguing and getting no where, I learned to just play nice with him. He was coming later today and bringing my parents. Today was the day to put my plans in motion.

I filled Jason in on what I wanted to do. He has been the only one here, besides Dr. Zakaras, to support me unconditionally. He has given advice and even stood up for me when another client was trying to get me upset. He has really became someone special to me. I told him everything that led me to this spot in my life and he never looked at me with pity. He understood my feelings and reasons and he encouraged me to get better. He's constantly reminding me that I'm strong and can do anything I want to do.

It was Jason that informed me that Joe and my parents were here. This is the first time that I've seen my parents since before that fateful day six months ago. He could see how nervous I was and gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed my hand. He smiled his crooked smile and led me into the visiting room. He's not always the one to take me to the visits, but when he is he stays with me inside the room. He know's that I don't trust Joe. We walked in and there sat my mom, dad, Joe, and my grandma. I was so excited to see her.

I ran directly to her and she enveloped me in a hug. I knew I always had her support, but not hearing from her or knowing how she felt I began to doubt. Every time that I called the house to talk to her, my mom said she was out at the salon or at a viewing.

"Baby girl. It is so good to see you. I would have been here sooner had your mother not told me that you were on a secret mission with that hunk Ranger. I'm sorry you had to do this alone." She cried as she brushed my hair back from my face. She had tears flowing from her eyes and I did too. For not being an emotional family, we sure were letting things out now.

"Thank you grandma. It is good to see you too. I guess my mother felt it best to keep my location a secret." I sent a death glare to the woman still sitting prim and proper on the couch. She had no remorse for lying to her own mother about where I was. I guess lying wasn't a sin in her book. I gave my grandma one more hug and before I pulled away she whispered in my ear so no one else could hear.

"I've always got your back, baby. Whatever you have planned for the horses pa-toot and the people you call parents, I'm behind you one hundred percent. I love you and am so proud of you for surviving this." She patted my face and went to sit back into the chair, before she got far she saw Jason standing by the door and just had to comment. She wouldn't be my grandma if she didn't

"Well, look at that. You even got sexy men with you here. Whatever you're doing baby girl, keep it up. I might have to do something crazy to get in here if this hunk is what's taking care of me." Jason shuddered as she approached him to get a better look. "You give bed baths sexy? I'm feeling a little dirty." Grandma wagged her eyebrows and patted Jason on the ass. He jumped but he was able to maintain his blank face. I was impressed that he stuck around after that.

"Grandma, please leave my aide alone. He puts up with enough crap from me." I winked at Jason and got a small smile in return. I sat cautiously next to Joe on the love seat ready for the barrage of questions that I knew were coming.

"Cupcake! You look wonderful." Joe kissed me on the lips lightly. I had to hold back the bile that made its way up my throat.

"Thanks. It's good to see you again." I looked at my parents and got grunts in reply. My mother began to speak, but Joe shot her a look and she held back. Hmmm...interesting.

"Stephanie. Have you thought about what we've been talking about?" Joe asked and looked at me hopeful for the answer.

Honestly, I have thought a lot about this subject. Joe asks me every time he's here to marry him. I always turn him down. Today was different.

"I have thought a lot about your proposition, Joe. I think I'm ready to finally accept. I want to marry you and become Mrs. Joe Morelli. I just have a few requests that we can discuss." Joe smiled and kissed me hard on the lips.

"You've made me so happy, Cupcake. What would you like to discuss? We'll make anything work. Anything you want."

"Well, I think I'm ready to get out of here. I'm ready to become your wife. I would like our wedding to be next weekend, but until then I want to be able to stay by myself. I don't want to move into your house until we're married."

Joe looked hurt for a brief second and then leaned to whisper into my ear.

"I'll agree to this, Stephanie, but you better not run away. If you run, I WILL find you and I will kill you." He kissed my cheek and then pulled away.

I smiled and nodded my agreement. I wasn't planning on running. I just had some things to take care of.

"Your apartment was vacated and already re-rented so where are you going to stay?" My mother asked, feigning interest.

"I have a friend that is out-of-town on vacation. She told me that I can use her loft downtown for the week. I just want sometime to think and get my life ready for marriage."

"What took you so long to finally come to your senses. Honestly, Stephanie. It didn't take Laura Holbrook's daughter six months to accept a proposal of marriage. You just had to embarrass me." I didn't want to get upset, so I took a deep breath and tried to explain as best I could.

"Well, I guess I waited so long so I could be sure that I was perfectly healthy. I want to be a good wife and mother, and I stayed here so they could get my mind in a good place. I wanted to be back to my old self before I agreed to marry Joe." I smiled sweetly at the woman in front of me.

"I'm so happy you finally decided on the right thing, Stephanie. Joseph will make a marvelous husband and don't worry about the wedding. I will take care of everything." My mother looked at Joe. "We will plan on having the wedding in eight days. Next Sunday is going to come fast so I have to go and make arrangements." My parents stood and each gave me a stiff hug. My dad never spoke to me, just looked at me with disappointment and disgust.

My grandma hugged me right before she followed my parents out of the room and whispered again in my ear. "Baby girl, I'm looking forward to seeing you put these three assholes in their place. It's going to be a pip!" I smiled and nodded at her and watched as she left.

It was just Jason, Joe and I in the room now so I took a seat opposite Joe on the couch and looked at him. He honestly thought he had won. He was so delusional and stupid to even think that I had another plan. I would be at the church next Sunday. I would be in a white dress and I would look happy.

I smiled at Joe and asked what I really wanted to know.

"So, when can I get out of here so I can become your wife?" Joe smiled back and grabbed his cell phone. He spoke briefly to whoever was on the other end of the call and then hung up. He grabbed me into a big hug and kissed me again. After a few minutes of idle chit-chat, Dr. Fisher came into the room with a stack of papers. She smiled big at Joe and walked slowly up to him.

"Here are the discharge papers all ready to go. Congratulations, Mr. Morelli. I hope you and Ms. Plum are very happy." The way she spoke my name was more like a spat. It was vengeful and hateful. The way she was leering at Joe proved that they had been intimate together. So that's how he kept me here for so freaking long. She'll be added to list too.

Jason caught the interaction and glanced at me too with a knowing look. He looked shocked at first and then angry. Good. I needed him to be angry.

"Steph, why don't you go back to the ward and pack and I'll stay here and talk to your doctor for a few minutes. You can walk out the door with me later today." Joe said never looking at me. He stared into the eyes of my psychiatrist. I knew that look well and I'm sure there would be no talking once Jason and I left the room.

I nodded and was led out of the room and down the hall toward the ward. Jason stopped me before unlocking the door and turned. He looked worried.

"Plum. I want you to promise me something." He looked unsure of himself and looked to be trying to phrase his request. I nodded for him to continue.

"I want you to promise me that you'll be careful. I don't trust your parents and I sure as hell don't trust Morelli. We've gotten close since you've been here and I don't want to see anything happen to you."

"I know, and I will be careful. I'm not the weak Stephanie that they think I am. The people here have helped me become someone so much stronger. I am going to miss you, but I know where you live so you'll see me again." I smiled and winked at him. It was actually his loft that I was staying at for the week.

I knew if anyone found out that I was going there, then he could be fired. Relationships of any kind between staff and clients was forbidden. Jason, wasn't worried and offered to let me stay with him to complete the plans that I was making. I would give me the chance to center myself and fortify my thoughts before I entered battle with the burg.

Jason smiled and nodded and then led me through the ward doors. I packed all of my belongings quickly and then said goodbye to everyone. Dr. Zakaras came and gave me a hug and one last dose of encouragement. She also gave me her private number to call her anytime I needed. I waved to the few friends that I had made and was led off the ward by the nurse.

I met Joe outside the locked hospital and for the first time in six months, I was free. I was my own person again. No schedules to follow, no one telling me what to do and when to eat. It felt just like heaven.

Joe took my bag and led me to his truck. He kissed me once more and I smiled as I smelled Dr. Fishers perfume on him. A leopard can't change his spots and Joe Morelli will always be a cheating bastard.

"OH, before I forget. Here!" Joe shoved a little black box at me and walked around to the driver's side. I opened it and took the small diamond ring out sliding it on the fourth finger of my left hand. It was official. I was engaged to Joseph Morelli.

We drove to downtown Trenton to the loft that I would be staying at for the week. Joe never asked who it belonged to and I never told him that I would be staying there with Jason. Meh, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. With a fast parting kiss I grabbed my bag and exited the truck. I walked up the stairs to my temporary home. A smile spread across my face. I was ready to do whatever I needed to finish this. It was time for Operation Strength. Let the games begin.

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A/N - So she's finally out. Tomorrow you finally get to answers to most of your questions. The biggest ones...what did Joe tell Tank all those months ago? and where have the Merry Men been this whole time? Tomorrow, my friends, you will have your answers.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Not mine...never will be.**

**Okay...okay...okay! I told you this was getting posted tomorrow, but I got called a meanie and that's just as bad as mean. Plus there was some begging involved! So here you wonderful Babe's go. This is my late Valentines Day present to my wonderful readers! : )**

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**Chapter 15 - Bomber's Back**

I entered the loft and looked around. I decided to spend a little time getting acquainted with my new surroundings.

I hesitated when Jason first mentioned staying here. He knew I needed a place to use as a base of operations to plan my revenge and he insisted that I use his spare room. I wasn't sure if he had a hidden agenda and I sure as hell didn't need to add a third man in the triangle that is my love life. I agreed to stay here after he begged but I wasn't totally comfortable. I felt better about the arrangement when Jason finally decided to tell me that he was gay and was only interested in being my friend. Crisis adverted.

It didn't take long to explore the open floor plan. The only rooms that were separated from everything else were Jason's room, the guest room, and the bathroom. I took my bags to the room that was mine for the next week and placed my stuff in the proper places. Hanging clothes in the small closet, unmentionables in the dresser drawers. I didn't have a lot of clothes with me, but I would make it work.

After everything was unpacked and I was familiar with my surroundings, I flopped down on the bed in my thinking position. There was still a crap ton of unanswered questions that I needed to get clarification on before I could do any heavy duty planning.

First, I wanted to know how Joe got control of my medical POA. As far as I knew, RangeMan supposed to be in control of all that. It makes it easier to get treatment fast when the employees are injured. I wanted to know how Joe ended up taking it away from them.

I also wanted to know who all Joe is involved in. I know about Robin and my esteemed psychiatrist. I suspect Terri, and as much as I hate to admit it, I think him and Joyce have been together. Makes my skin crawl to think about. I want to know for sure who all I need to show my "appreciation" to.

Lastly, I wanted to know what happened to my Merry Men. I thought about just brushing it off and ignoring how much it hurt me when they abandoned me, but damn it I really wanted to know why. I had my suspicions that Joe was involved somehow, but I wanted to know for certain.

I also needed to know what happened to Ranger. I came to terms with his death and even though my heart still hurt terribly, I vowed to move past it. I wanted to know where he was buried so I could officially say goodbye. As much as I didn't want to go there, I decided to start tomorrow with a trip to RangeMan.

I guess I fell asleep during my pre-planning thinking because the next thing I know, I felt a soft finger trace down my face and come to rest in my tangle of hair at the base of my neck. I open my eyes to see Jason sitting beside me smiling.

"Oh, shit. I fell asleep, didn't I?"

"Sure did, Steph. Dinner is ready if you're hungry." Jason chuckled and headed out of my room. I followed him into the kitchen and sat down at his table. He placed a plate with the most amazing smelling food in front of me.

"I hope you like cheese enchilada's. They are my specialty and I figured you were ready for some real food."

Dear Lord, was I ever ready for real food. I took my first bite and couldn't stop the moan from escaping. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the delicious flavors exploding on my tongue. Jason laughed and started eating. We enjoyed polite conversation as we finished and cleaned up the kitchen. After everything was clean we headed to the living room and both collapsed on the couch.

"You have anything going on tomorrow?" Jason knew about some of the stuff that I had planned, but he wasn't aware of everything. I knew that I could trust him and I knew that he wanted to help, but I was keeping some of my ideas to myself.

"I think I'm going to head to RangeMan in the morning. The guys should all be there if I get there around nine."

He nodded. He didn't agree with my desire to confront the guys, but didn't try to stop me. He supported what I wanted to do. Again, why couldn't he be straight? We enjoyed a movie together and then parted to head to bed. Jason had to get up early to work and I needed to rest for the confrontation that was coming.

I slept peacefully and woke up when the alarm went off at seven. Jason was already gone so I didn't bother putting pants on to go to the bathroom. I showered, shaved, plucked, and buffed everything. It had been six long months since I had taken a decent shower and I used every ounce of hot water available to me. It was pure heaven.

I dressed in normal jeans and a t-shirt, I wasn't really concerned with looking sexy and after throwing my hair in a pony tail and putting on my shoes, I was ready to go. I no longer needed makeup to make myself to feel secure. Courage no longer came from my mascara. I learned to rely on my own abilities to make me feel confident and brave.

Jason had left the keys to his motorcycle on the counter with a note that read, "Be safe Steph. Let me know if you need me before I get off. I can be there if you need me to be. Just remember...you don't need them."

Jason had spent the last six months helping me understand that I don't need anyone to feel good about myself. He and my psychologist tag teamed me and it worked. I learned that I can stand on my own two feet and I don't need the Merry Men or my family. I knew this, but just because I didn't **need** them it didn't mean I didn't still **want** them.

I drove leisurely around the town that I had grown up in. Nothing had changed in the six months that I spent away, but yet nothing seemed the same either.

I slowly drove past the bonds office. I could see Lula sitting on the couch reading a magazine and Connie talking on the phone. Same shit different day. Those two will never change. I shook my head and sped away. I briefly wondered who was catching the skips. Then it donned on me that I really didn't care who was doing it. I assumed Vinnie had to hire another BEA, but didn't really give two shits who it was. I wasn't going back to work there.

I drove up to the building on Haywood and parked in front of the seven story black building. You would never know it was a security company just by looking at the outside. The only marking was a small plaque by the front door that read RangeMan. I glanced quickly at the man behind the front desk and didn't recognize him. Must be a new guy. I took a few minutes to gather my thoughts and center myself before I turned and headed into the building that used to be my safe haven. The building that felt more like home than anywhere ever have before.

**A/N - I thought about ending this chapter here, but decided to give you guys a break. Now the moment many have been waiting for, the Merry Men confrontation.**

I approached the man at the front desk and smiled warmly. He was on the phone and held up his finger telling me to wait a moment. I waited patiently and looked around the lobby. It appears Ella was trying to spruce up the place because I saw a few decorative candles and some potted plants placed around the open area. She did a good job because those few little touches gave the waiting area a homey feel. I must have been investigating my surroundings closely because I didn't realize the man behind the desk had finished his call and I jumped when he spoke to me.

"Do you have an appointment with someone?" He sounded irritated. I know desk duty was the last thing that any Rangeman wanted to do. He either pissed off the boss or got injured. Either way, he wasn't a happy camper.

"I don't have an appointment, but would still like to see Tank, Santos, or Brown."

"If you don't have an appointment, then why are you wasting my time? I've got better things to do than deal with a bitch." Damn, grumpy-pants was starting to piss me off.

"Listen! I don't know who the fuck pissed in your Wheaties today, but I can guarantee if you called any of the three men I mentioned, one of them will come down to see me."

"Yeah right lady. Why would they drop what they're doing just to see you? Who the hell do you think you are? The Queen of England? Oh, wait, I got it...you're the famous Bombshell Bounty Hunter that everyone has told me about?" Sarcasm was dripping from his words. I just smiled nicely and stuck out my hand.

"I always hated that nick-name, so you can call me Stephanie." Once he realized what I said, his face turned pale and he looked like he was going to pass out. I rolled my eyes and went behind the desk to push his head between his knees.

"Breath and push up on my hand. Good Lord, you're not like a normal Merry Man. What is this, your first day?"

He snapped his head up and looked at me with fear in his eyes this time.

"You can't be here...you're supposed to be..."

"Supposed to be what? Locked up? Trust me I was for six fucking months. Now, I want you to call either Tank, Santos or Brown for me. Please" Thought I would try being nice this time.

He nodded his head and picked up the phone. I have no clue which one he called and it didn't really matter to me. I wanted to talk to one of them and get the full story. I listened in on his end of the conversation as I waited.

"Sir, there's someone down here to see you." Pause...

"No. She said she didn't need an appointment." He rolled his eyes and listened to the person on the other end.

"No, sir. I tried to tell her, but it's..." He looked annoyed at being interrupted.

"No sir. I like my job and I didn't mean to bother you, but it's..." oh shit, I didn't want to get him fired.

"Sir, it's a ghost."

"A ghost sir. She's not supposed to be here."

"Yes sir."

He looked at me and asked, "Can you look up into the camera for me?"

I rolled my eyes and looked up right into the camera behind the desk and did my signature finger wave and gave my normal smile.

"Sir...Are you there?"

The next thing I hear sounds like an elephant running down the stairs. I turn in time to see the stair well door almost get thrown off it's hinges and Tank is standing in the doorway with a look of sadness and confusion. I smile and wave and then start to walk towards him. He stood stunned for a second and then rushed to me and grabbed me into a giant bear hug. He squeezed so tight that I couldn't breathe.

"Uh, it's nice to see you too, Big Guy...but I need to breathe sometime." He set me down and pulled away from me and I was shocked to see tears on his face. What the hell, I've never seen Tank cry before.

I heard a commotion behind me and then was wretched out of Tanks massive hands into someone else's. I recognized the smell of his cologne and pulled back to see Bobby crying too. I couldn't understand what was going on. All I was missing was Les and speak of the devil, there he is.

"Beautiful?" I turned and saw him standing behind Tank with tears in his eyes and ran right into his arms. After seeing three big mercenaries cry, I had to join them. Les crushed me to his chest and I buried my face in his neck. Before too long, Tank and Bobby joined and we all stood there silently holding each other and letting our tears fall. I was engulfed in Merry Men and I didn't want to leave. I slowly pulled away and looked at the three men in front of me.

"Okay guys, who wants to clue me in on what's been going on?" I asked trying to steady my voice.

None of them spoke. They all just stood there and stared at me with looks of wonder and confusion.

"You all have me a little worried. What the hell is going on?"

Still nothing. Their emotions were not contained this morning and not one of them could find the strength to use their voice. Since mine worked just fine I decided to start the conversation.

"Okay, since you three aren't talking I guess I can say what I need to and then I'll get out of your way." I paused and took a deep breath.

"I'm not sure what happened to you guys after you left my hospital room six months ago, maybe you changed your mind and couldn't forgive me for what I did. Maybe you wanted to distance yourselves from me because you were embarrassed or ashamed. Whatever the reason, I want you three to know how deeply hurt I was." I stopped, hoping one of them would say something. They all just stood there with confused looks on their faces.

"Shit, guys. Will one of you fucking talk? I spent the last six months in a freaking psychiatric hospital. I tried calling you guys and you all changed your numbers. I sent letters and prayed that you would get them. They got returned to me. I waited six fucking months for a visit from you and you never came. You left me there to rot and I want to fucking know why." I was quickly reaching rhino mode, but decided that I was done talking until one of them spoke. I wanted to know what happened.

"That fucking piece of shit is going to die a very slow and painful death." Les found his voice first. "I'm going to cut off his balls first and make him eat them and then I'm going to dissect his measly excuse of a dick. Then, maybe, I'll kill him." Tank and Bobby still stood shocked and quiet. Les turned to face and cupped my face in his hands, brushing the tears left on my cheeks off with his thumbs.

"You're supposed to be dead, Beautiful." It was my turn to look shocked. I was even more confused now.

"But you guys know I didn't die, you saw me in the hospital after it happened. I asked them to tell you where I got transferred to, did they not let you know?"

"No, Steph. We knew you got transferred to Princeton. We found out when we went back to the hospital after visiting the police department. We were told you had been moved and that you listed Morelli as your medical POA so we weren't told any other information." Bobby shook himself out of the stupor and actually clued me in to what had happened. I was starting to see a clearer picture when he continued.

"I tried Steph, I honestly tried. I called in every favor so I could talk to you or see you, but they wouldn't let me. The mandatory two week ward confinement and isolation was almost over and we thought we would be able to see you. Then..." He paused and looked down, tears coming to his eyes again. Tank took pity on him and decided to finish.

"Morelli told us that you relapsed while in the hospital and that you killed yourself. We didn't believe him at first. We called every contact we had to get verification but only met brick walls. We did everything we could to find out what happened." Tank paused and took me in his arms again.

"Morelli brought me your client file with a signed death certificate from a Dr. Fisher. You're parents came with him and told us that they had you cremated and added to the family vault. There as no memorial service because they were too ashamed of what you did. We had no reason to believe it wasn't true. We were all crushed." He paused for a minute to collect himself. "I'm so sorry, Stephanie. I would have fought Satan himself to get to you if I knew you were still there. Had I known the truth, I wouldn't have left you there to rot."

Suddenly it all became clear. That piece of shit played me from both sides. He spent his time with me telling me that they shut me out and didn't want anything to do with me while telling them that I died. When did Morelli become so smart?

I extracted myself from Tank's arms and looked at the three broken men in front of me. They were still effected by the news of my suspected death.

"Wait...that doesn't explain why you all changed your numbers and why you sent back my letters." Joe's lie explained the lack of visits or calls, but it didn't make me feel better about the other stuff. I let a few tears fall again.

"I never got a letter Steph, and I never changed my number. I spent every waking moment trying to get to you inside the hospital until they said you were dead. I would have stopped at nothing to get to you." Les brushed a tear off my cheek. "I can't tell you why you never got through to us or why your letters got returned. I'm sure the only person who could answer that is Morelli."

As if I didn't have enough reasons to hate Joe Morelli, now I just got to add a few more. I can't imagine what these guys have gone through.

"You guys thought I was dead? I'm so sorry! You guys must have gone through hell." Tank took me into his arms again and rested his chin on top of my head.

"You have no idea, Steph. No fucking idea." Tank let out a big sigh. "When dumb fuck over there told me a ghost was down in the lobby, I never thought it was going to be you. I thought you were gone. I never thought I would see you again."

We all stood quietly for a few minutes in the lobby trying to absorb the information that we all learned. I knew I had to ask the questions about Ranger, but I was enjoying the feeling of being in their arms again. It was Bobby who shocked the shit out of me.

"Ranger's going to shit a brick when he gets back. He called in four months ago and Tank told him what had happened to you. He's coming back just to beat the shit out of Morelli." My heart fluttered around in my chest and I began to sob finally understanding that Joe's lies didn't stop with the Merry Men. That fucker lied to me too.

"Say it again Bobby." I said between sobs.

"Ummmm, say what Steph? Ranger's going to shit a brick?" Bobby sounded confused.

"Ranger's coming back? He's really coming back?" I asked.

"Of course he's coming back, Beautiful. Why the hell wouldn't he?" Les took me out of Tank's arms and wrapped his around me again. These men have never been touchy-feely, but now it was like they couldn't let me go.

"Joe told me months ago that Ranger died on his mission. I thought that I lost my chance to tell him how much I really loved him." I began to sob again. This was an emotional freaking day. The growls I heard from the three men sounded like a pack of rabid wolves. They weren't happy hearing about Joe's latest lie.

"No, Steph. Ranger is alive and he is coming back. He was devastated when I told him what happened to you, what we thought happened. I was worried about him. I had to beg him to not do anything stupid like get himself killed over there. He promised that he would be back and he would take care of Morelli." Tank looked right into my eyes when he told me and I could see the honesty in his eyes.

"When is he coming back?" I asked from my cocoon of Les' arms.

"No later than next Sunday. Might be sooner. He's tying up some loose ends and then he has debrief in Washington. He's coming back, Steph."

I sighed and smiled. My Merry Men still loved me and Ranger's coming home soon. Everything was right in my world.

"Come on Beautiful. I'm sure you have a crap ton to share with us and I don't know about these clowns," Les pointed back to Tank and Bobby, "but I don't want to be apart from you just yet. Let's go up to my office and finish this conversation."

"Sounds good boys. Sounds very good." Les and I walked with our arms around each other with Tank and Bobby following. We still had plenty to discuss and now that I know the truth, these men were going to help me get the rest of my planning done.

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A/N - Did that answer all of your questions? Was it worth the wait? Many of you guessed that Joe lied about Steph's death. Hope you all aren't too disappointed : )


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Characters not mine...not making any money.**

I'm so glad you all enjoyed the last chapter. Thank you all for the reviews and kind words. You guys sure know how to make me feel good! Keep them coming! Only one chapter today, sorry! : )

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**Chapter 16 - Joint Operations**

My return to RangeMan was more than I could have imagined. I knew Tank, Bobby and Lester cared a lot about me and were devastated when they were told about my death, but I had no clue how much I affected every man working there.

When we entered the fifth floor from the elevator everyone got quiet. Once the guys got over their initial shock of seeing me again realized that I was really there, and obviously not dead, the commotion that erupted was deafening. I was once again engulfed in a sea of black. Every guy working made it a point to take me into their arms in crushing hugs, some kissed my head and a few brave souls kissed my lips. Les growled at a few of those, but he never interrupted our reunion.

After spending about an hour telling everyone on duty a little about my life for the last six months, I decided that it was time for me to share my plans with A-Team. I excused myself and asked to speak to Les, Bobby and Tank in private. I needed their help and I wasn't ready to lay all my cards out on the table for all of RangeMan to see.

I followed the three big men into Tank's office and took a seat as Tank closed and locked the door. With one call to the command center, he and the other two guys were off-line until further notice. I guess he didn't want us to be interrupted. The guys knew that this was my show now and were waiting patiently for me to start speaking. Their faces gave away their curiosity.

"Okay, it's like this. I don't want you all to be mad at me, but I have some news to share with you." I had taken my engagement ring off my finger before entering the building, but took it out now and slid it on my naked finger. Each man glared at the motion of the ring sliding into place and then looked at me with hurt and disappointment.

"Don't even tell me that that is from who I think it is, because I can guarantee you that I will not sit by while you marry that asshole." Les was getting angry. I needed to defuse this quickly.

"No...well, yes it is from Joe and yes I did agree to marry him..." that's all the explanation that I got out.

"ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME?" Beyond angry Les was out and the hurt on his face was enough to make me reconsider my plans.

"Just listen to me. I agreed to marry him, but I never had any intentions of following through with it. I finally see Joe Morelli for what he is. A manipulative, controlling asshole that deserves to be castrated. I have a plan and I need your help guys." That seemed to make them feel at least a bit better. The all nodded for me to continue, so I laid my entire plan out for them to hear.

Smiles broke out on their faces when I got to the best part and I knew I had their support and help if I needed it.

"Bomber, Ranger was right. You never disappoint. We have just what you need to help with this." Tank opened his bottom drawer and pulled out a file folder with what looked like hundreds of pictures in it.

"Before I show you this, you have to promise something." He looked right at me and I nodded for him to continue.

"You have to promise to not get too upset. The information in this file is enough to make anyone sick and I don't want you to fall apart." I had an idea what I was going to find in the file and wasn't looking forward to it, but knew it was something that I needed to do.

I simply nodded my head and stretched my hand out for the folder. I sat quietly beside Les on the couch and shuffled through the pictures and movement logs that the men had on Joe. The sheer number of women that he is pictured with is astonishing. Some of them I suspected and knew personally. Joyce, Terri, Connie (I couldn't believe that), and Robin were all caught in some very interesting positions. My favorite was the one with Joyce, Connie and Joe. Damn...that's just dirty.

Some of the women pictured with Joe were just dirty and I had no clue who they were or where he met them. I was suddenly very thankful that I always made Joe wear a condom when we had sex. I don't even want to think about the diseases he has. Some of them looked like Stark Street hookers.

When I got to the last few pictures, my breath caught in my throat and I thought I was going to vomit. The picture was taken outside the same motel as most of the other ones, always the same room. This one showed Joe in a passionate kiss with the women and his hand rested comfortably on her ass. The next picture showed her leading him into the room with a seductive smile on her face. I couldn't even look at the next set of pictures that showed them in many different positions. I couldn't believe her. My own fucking mother. How sick is that shit?

The last picture proved what I suspected the last few months in the hospital. I had proof that Joe was fucking my psychiatrist. This is just what I needed. Most of these pictures would get used later and I had the perfect time to feature them.

When I closed the file, I looked at the guys in the office. Les pulled me close to his side and I let him hold me for a second. I knew Joe was cheating on me, but it hurt seeing the proof and seeing who he was doing it with. I was impressed that I didn't cry or get too upset. The guys were impressed to when I picked my head up off Les' shoulder and took a deep breath. I was ready to move on from this.

"Wow, thank you for doing such a good job tracking him. These pictures will come in handy. You didn't have to do any of this, but I'm thankful that you did." Tank smiled and nodded at me.

"What are you going to do now Beautiful?" Les asked from beside me while he rubbed soothing circles on my neck under my hair.

"I'm going to go through with my plans. I need to do some more investigating and get some more information before next Sunday and I might need your help, guys.

"What happens next Sunday?" Bobby asked with a smirk and a knowing gleam in his eye. I smiled widely back and answered his question.

"That is D-day boys. That is the day that I grow some balls and stand up for myself. It's the day I get my revenge. It's my wedding day, of course. Can I count on you guys being there for support?" I knew the answer, but felt I still needed to ask.

Each of them looked at the other and held a silent conversation between the three of them. At once they all three looked at me with huge smiles on their faces.

"We wouldn't miss this for the world, little girl. You know we'll be there."

I felt relieved at that answer because with them behind me then I knew I could do anything, including stand up to the burg.

We talked for a few more minutes and then when the office fell silent, Les looked at me and asked if he and I could speak in private. Tank and Bobby looked a little concerned when I nodded and let him help me off the couch. I didn't know if they were worried about me hurting Les or Ranger. I smiled and winked at them as we left the office.

We walked silently down to his apartment on the fourth floor. I knew we needed to have a serious conversation, but I was so afraid that I was going to hurt him unintentionally. I wasn't looking forward to hurting this amazing man.

Once we were locked safely in the apartment, Les took my hand and led me to his couch. I sat down while he went and got us some waters from the refrigerator. Once he returned and passed me a bottle I knew the time was here.

Les sat beside me and faced me. He leaned over and placed a tender kiss on my lips and closed his eyes as he rested his forehead against mine.

"Stephanie, you are without a doubt my best friend." Les whispered softly with our faces so close together. "I want to tell you something, and I don't want you to freak out or pull away. I need you in my life. Will you please just listen to me and not interrupt? I need to get all of this out now before I chicken out."

I pulled my head back and looked into his eyes that were so full of love. I knew what he wanted to say before he even uttered the words. I simply nodded and waited for him to start.

"Beautiful. I love you. I am so far in love with you that it scares the crap out of me. When Joe told us that you died, I was crushed. I thought I had lost the opportunity to tell you how I really felt about you." Les paused trying to muster up the strength to continue.

"I know that your heart belongs to my cousin, and I am so happy that you both have admitted your love for each other and I know that you don't feel the same way about me. You may love me, but not even close to the way that you love Ranger." He paused again and took a moment to brush some stray curls away from my face. His hand lingered on the side of my face and I pressed into it so he had to cup it. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer.

"Don't cry, Beautiful. It's going to be okay. I will probably always love you, but I understand that I can only be your friend and I will take that. You mean so much to me Steph. I honestly don't know what I would do without you in my life in some way. Did my confession make you too uncomfortable to be around me? Are you going to pull away now?" He was so uncertain of himself. He didn't even resemble the confident playboy that I met years ago. He was vulnerable and exposed and I loved him even more for it.

"You know better than to think that I would pull away from you. I think I need you more than you need me." I took a moment to study the man in front of me. He was smiling, but it didn't reach to his eyes. He was trying to act happy, but I knew the pain he was feeling. I felt the same pain months ago.

"I'm so sorry if I lead you on Les. I never meant to hurt you. I love you too. You know that. I sometimes wish I didn't love Ranger as strongly as I do. I sometimes wish that you were the man for me, because you are an amazing person; but you can't help who you fall in love with, and I do love Ranger with everything inside of me. I owe it to myself to see where this relationship goes with him." Les nodded at me wiped the stray tears from my cheeks.

"I understand, Beautiful, and I agree. You two owe it to each other to give your love a chance. I've watched you two fight your feelings for too damn long and I know that once you two get together, you're going to be great. I want to be there for you when things are going good and if things get bad. Promise me that I'll always be your best friend and that you won't forget about me." I smiled at him and for the first time since we started the conversation, I felt sure that we were going to be okay.

"You will always be important to me, Les. You saved my life. I will never be able to thank you for that, but I'm going to do my best to show you how much I appreciate you. You will always be my best friend and if I ever get married again, you **will** be my man of honor." I smirked at him and heard him laugh out loud.

"You got a deal, Beautiful. I would be honored." He reached out for me and pulled me into a hug and we sat silently just enjoying being together. There was no awkward or uncomfortable feelings. I knew we were going to be stronger friends now.

After several minutes of silence, there was a knock on the apartment door. We pulled apart and Les went to open the door and I followed to see who interrupted us.

I wasn't expecting the person to be on the other side. My eyes got big and I began to ask what he was doing here but was interrupted by his strong arms around me. Les stood there with Tank, who escorted him down, and looked at us cautiously.

"Jason, what the hell are you doing here?" I finally got out when he loosened his hold on me.

"Sorry Steph. I got worried when I didn't hear from you and when you weren't home when I got there, I decided I needed to come here and find you." Jason eyed the two other men cautiously and they returned the same look.

"Guys, this is Jason. He is an aide at the hospital where I stayed and became a really good friend. Jason, this is Lester Santos and Tank. They are really good friends of mine." Les and Tank shook hands with Jason when he offered them and we all went back into the apartment. I knew Jason didn't trust the guys like I did. Suddenly I had an epiphany and turned around quickly to face Jason.

"Hey. When I gave you aides at the hospital a phone number to dial for me, did you actually dial it or did you lie to me about the number you called?" Jason looked down sheepishly and I knew the answer.

"I'm sorry Steph. We had orders from the doctors and we weren't allowed to dial certain numbers for you. We didn't know why or who they were connected to, we were just told to dial an out of service number that the hospital uses for screening calls. Who were the numbers too?"

"They were the numbers to the guys here. I thought that they all changed their numbers because they didn't want to talk to me. Did you even mail the letters that I wrote to them?"

"All your mail went to Dr. Fisher. I don't know what she did with them after that. I'm really sorry. I didn't know who she was keeping you from, but I thought they had to be bad for you because of the lengths she was willing to go. If they cared so much, why didn't they visit or call you?" That pissed Les off and Tank stood behind Jason with a look of rage on his face. They were ready to beat his ass.

"Joe and Dr. Fisher told them I was dead. It's not their fault. They're the only one's that care about me. Why the fuck didn't you tell me that you weren't dialing the numbers I gave you? You lied to me."

"I honestly thought these guys were the reason you were in the hospital in the first place. Dr. Fisher told us what she wanted us to know. She gave the orders to keep you out of contact with them. I'm so sorry, Steph. Had I known the truth, I would have helped you. Up until yesterday, I thought Dr. Fisher was a decent person. Seeing the way she interacted with the asshole you're going to marry and hearing what you're telling me now, I'm doubting her mental health. What the hell was she thinking?"

He looked like he felt bad enough; he didn't need any more anger from me. Jason had become a good friend and didn't want to lose that friendship.

"It's okay. I know you were just following orders. I'm not mad at you, just at that manipulative bitch and Joe." I looked at Tank and Les. "Is there legal action I can take on them? False imprisonment or something? I'm not going to let her do that to another person. No one deserves that."

"I'll call the RangeMan attorney tomorrow. I'm sure he can come up with something." Tank smiled at me pleased with my decision to seek legal action. Thinking about legal matters had me thinking of another question.

"Tank, how did Joe get my medical power of attorney?" That had been plaguing my mind for months.

"We were looking into that when we got the word that you died. We found the judge who signed the papers. Apparently Joe, along with your parents, convinced him that since you no longer worked here we didn't have your best interest at heart. They convinced him that Joe was the better candidate to care for you and he agreed and signed the papers. Since it was all legal, there was nothing we could do. We figured Joe blackmailed him into signing, but we never had proof. We gave up investigating after we were lied too. We'll pick it back up now that we know you're alive." Tank was grabbing his cell phone to start making calls, but I stopped him before he could do anything.

"No. Just give me the name of the judge who signed the papers. I want to visit him." I had a plan to get the information from him that I needed. Tank smiled at me.

"Judge Anderson. From what we found out, he's a decent guy. We didn't find anything off or suspicious. So whatever Joe has on him, it's big. Be careful when you talk to him."

"I plan to be. I refuse to hide from this anymore. It's time to fix some of the misunderstanding that Joe has started. I'm actually looking forward to it."

We all decided that we were hungry and invited everyone that was off duty to join us at Shorty's for pizza and beer. I would have killed for Pino's, but I didn't want Joe to know about me reconnecting to the Merry Men. I'm quite happy with him believing that I no longer wanted them around. He's just stupid enough to believe that he's still controlling me. I'll let him think whatever he wants, because by this time next week...he will know the truth.

The guys and I had a blast at dinner. Jason looked like he was letting his guard down around the Merry Men. He was able to enjoy himself at dinner and laughed with the guys about some of my more embarrassing captures. His favorite was the KY Jelly incident.

After hours of stories about the famous Bombshell Bounty Hunter, I made my escape from the group and headed back to Jason's loft. He decided to stay behind and get to know the guys a little better. He was having a good time and fit right in with them.

I was exhausted from all the emotions of today and had another big day tomorrow. I was going to talk to the judge and I even planned on visiting with my parents.

I crashed into bed the minute I got back to the apartment. My thoughts were full of everything that happened today. I was glad to find out the truth about what really happened to my Merry Men. I should have never doubted them, but it's hard when you only have partial truths. My thoughts turned to Ranger and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He was alive and he was coming home. I fell asleep thinking about my future and for the first time in six months, I had a smile on my face.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

I'm so excited about the upcoming chapters and I know that you all are too. Ranger makes his return to Trenton tomorrow and the wedding is quickly approaching! Thank you all so much for the reviews. I actually responded to some yesterday, GASP. If I missed you some how, I am deeply sorry. I live to read what you readers think about my story. Keep the reviews coming. They make me happy!

Now...it's time to meet the judge!

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**Chapter 17 - Make it Happen**

The day after my reconnection with the Merry Men came entirely too fast. The information I learned while at RangeMan was staggering and I still had more I needed to know. I arranged for Tank to make me copies of some of the photos in the collection that they had. Joe was not going to like my "wedding present" that I had come up for him, but I really didn't care.

When I finally decided to crawl out of bed that morning it was past 10:00 AM. I couldn't believe I slept most of the day away. Jason was still sound asleep, but it was his day off so I didn't think much about it. He was out later than me anyway.

I called the court-house first thing when I got up and made a special appointment with Judge Anderson for 1:30 PM. It was the only time he had available today so I jumped on it. I had a few things to do before going there so I needed to get my butt in gear.

I was enjoying a strawberry pop tart when I heard Jason's door open.

"Hola chica." I recognized that voice and it wasn't Jason's. I flipped around and laughed as Hector walked toward me with a smirk on his face. I knew he was gay, but it never crossed my mind that they would hook up. Good for them, though. Just because I'm not getting any doesn't mean they shouldn't.

Jason came out a few minutes later looking exhausted.

"Rough night?" I asked with my tongue in my cheek. Jason blushed and Hector laughed. Guess I had my answer. Hector kissed my head and then grabbed his things to head to the office. He stopped and whispered something in Jason's ear then took off out the door.

Jason did everything he could to ignore my questioning gaze but I was relentless.

"So...you and Hector, eh? What exactly happened last night after I left the restaurant?" There was that blush again. Finally someone who turned red more than I did.

"Shit, Steph. I don't know what happened. Are you okay with this? If not, tell me now and I'll end it." He looked worried. Like I would tell him to do something like that. Sheesh.

"I'm happy for you. Hector is a good man. You better not hurt him though. I was friends with him first so he get's ownership of me if you separate." I was joking to lighten the mood. He was really worried that I would have a problem with them. He smiled and I gave him a hug before heading to the bathroom to shower and get ready for my appointment.

Whoever packed my clothes for the hospital didn't pack any dressy clothes and I had no clue what happened to the rest of my stuff from my apartment. I suspected that it was over at my parents house, so I decided I needed to head over there to find something decent to wear. I yelled bye to Jason as I ran out the door.

The drive to my childhood home was peaceful which was refreshing because I knew the minute I got into the house, the peace would end. I wasn't wrong in my assumption. The yelling started even before I got inside. My mom was the first to start the yelling.

"Well, Stephanie. I'm so glad you honored us with your presence today. I was just busy planning your wedding and needed a break. I'll fix us some lunch."

"I actually have an appointment in a bit and just came for some of my clothes. I assume they're here." My mother nodded and pointed up the stairs.

"What kind of appointment. You're not going to do anything stupid are you? Don't you dare wreck what you have with Joseph." Same broken record.

"I'm not going to wreck it mom. It's just a meeting with an old friend." It really didn't bother me to lie to my mom. I just wanted her to shut up.

I went upstairs and changed into a holdover outfit from my E.E. Martin days. The suite was a little tight, but it suited my purpose today. I slipped my feet into some FMP's and headed back down stairs.

I stopped by the kitchen to say goodbye and to let my mother know that I would be back later to chat and help with the wedding planning. She simply nodded her head and I left the house. I was smart enough to trade the motorcycle keys for Jason's car. I didn't want to imagine myself trying to straddle a bike with a skirt on. I would never heart the end of it if I did that. Talk about a scandal.

I pulled into the courthouse parking lot 15 minutes before my appointment time and made my way inside to the judges private chambers. I was led into a big office and asked to wait a few moments for the judge to arrive.

As I sat, I nervously surveyed my surrounding. My eyes landed on a picture on a bookshelf behind the judges desk. It was an older picture that showed two men, one about ten years older than the other. The younger man held a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. You could tell, just from the photo, that the two men shared a deep friendship. My attention kept straying to the younger man. He looked vaguely familiar. I couldn't put a name to the face in the picture, but I knew that I knew him.

Judge Anderson entered a few moments later and interrupted my internal thoughts about the picture. I glanced quickly and realized that he was the older man in the picture. He hadn't changed a whole lot in his looks. Maybe a little less hair, more weight in the middle.

"Ms. Plum. It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I've heard such good things about you." He smiled broadly and grabbed my hand for a hard shake. He took his seat behind his desk and noticed that my attention went back to the picture behind him. He grabbed it and smiled and handed it to me.

"Even as a baby, you can't keep your eyes off your fiancé, can you?" He chuckled. I must have looked shocked. He laughed harder and explained what I was looking at as I held the picture.

"That is Joe Morelli, when he was about 3 months old. His father and I were best friends. I'm actually Joe's Godfather." I was speechless. That's why the younger man looked familiar. I only saw Joe's dad a few times growing up. I knew he was a mean drunk and often beat his kids and wife. Now, the medical power of attorney transfer made sense. Joe called in a family favor.

"Your honor, I need some information from you. I trust, also, that this conversation can stay between us." I spoke firmly and looked directly into his eyes. I was not going to let his history with Joe derail me from finding out what I needed. He stopped laughing and put on his judge face before nodding for me to continue.

"I know you have history with Joe Morelli, and I respect that. What I came to speak with you about today is the medical power of attorney papers that you had transferred to Joe about six months ago."

"What about it Ms. Plum? He was the most obvious candidate being your fiancé. Your parents were here with him and gave their support. I don't see the problem." He seemed to be getting angry at my questioning his decision.

"Joe was not my fiancé at the time and my power of attorney was held by my employer, RangeMan. Did Joe mention that to you that day? Did he mention that I caught him with another woman the day before and broke up with him? Did he mention that he abused me and raped me the night before?" The longer I spoke the paler the judge got. I guess my answer was no to each of those questions.

"No, Ms. Plum. Joe didn't bother to mention any of that to me. Your parents were here supporting him, did they know any of this?" I could see his jaw flexing, showing the tension that this man was feeling.

"Had I known about those instances, I would not have given Joe that power. He called in a family favor, and as his Godfather I didn't think twice about it. I apologize if I upset you Ms. Plum."

"My parents were well aware of everything and they still supported him. I know that you are an honorable man, and that you made a mistake. That mistake cost me six months of my life and caused many people unnecessary pain. I want this fixed now." The judge looked shocked now and then turned angry again.

"Ms. Plum, I think you need to tell me everything. I have the feeling that I don't know who my Godson truly is." He sounded genuine so I told him everything he needed to know about Joseph Morelli. I could tell some of the information made him sick.

After my revelations were done I gave him a few minutes to absorb all the information that I blasted at him. I knew it was a lot to hear, but I felt he needed to know just who Joe was. After a few minutes of tense silence, the judge finally softened his looks and looked at me.

"What can I do to help?" He looked sincere and I knew then that I could trust him. I told him about my plans for the wedding and explained to him what I needed him to do. After I had everything laid out for him he looked sadly at me and then down at the picture, now laying on his desk.

"You have my full support, Ms. Plum. I'll get to work on the paperwork now and everything will be ready when you want it." He let out a big sigh and came around the desk to sit beside me.

"Let me apologize again. I am so ashamed that I allowed Joseph to act so horribly for all these years. After his father died, it was my responsibility to help him grow into a decent man, and I failed. I am so deeply sorry that I allowed him to hurt you like he has. Please, let me know if there is anything else you need." I could see how sorry and ashamed this man was. It was written all over his face.

"Thank you so much for your help. I don't hold you responsible for anything that happened. We were both manipulated by the same man. We are both the victim and now we're going to do something about it." I stood and took his hand in mine again. "I'll have the RangeMan attorney contact you later today. Does that sound good?" He nodded and placed a kiss on my knuckles and led me to the door. With a parting smile, we said our goodbyes. I hopped in my borrowed car and headed back to the Burg, it was time to face the parents.

My mother was waiting on the front porch when I pulled up to the curb. I walked up cheerfully and hugged her. I had to mask my obvious disdain on my face if I wanted everything to work properly.

I followed mom into the kitchen which she had deemed wedding central. She had the church reserved for the ceremony and the reception would be held at the local VFW hall. She had the dresses chosen, the flowers ordered, and the music selected. She was trying to pick the perfect cake, so I decided to give my opinion. After all, that was my favorite part of a wedding.

We choose a red velvet cake with cream cheese icing. It was my favorite cake, next to cake of the pineapple upside down variety. Everything was coming together and my mom looked thrilled. I decided to give her one last chance to redeem herself. I'm a firm believer that there are consequences to our actions, and I'm allowing her the chance to change those consequences.

"Mom, do you think I'm crazy for rushing into this marriage with Joe? I mean, he did cheat on me and hurt me." I gauged her answer by her reaction.

"God, Stephanie. If you don't marry Joe now, you're going to lose him permanently. I'm amazed that he still wants to marry you after you embarrassed him by trying to kill yourself. Honestly, do you think he'll stick around forever? You will marry him on Sunday or you will not be welcome here again. Why me? Why does my daughter have to be so rebellious?" She stood and grabbed the bottle of Jack from the pantry and poured herself a double shot. I wanted to know the answer to another question, so I braved to ask what I wanted to know.

"Did I ever make you happy, mom? I mean, have I done anything in my 30 plus year that made you proud?" She looked at me with eyes narrowed and thought a moment.

"I can't think of anything, Stephanie. But there's a first time for everything. Come Sunday I'll be the happiest mother on the block. You'll be married to Joseph and you **will** be pregnant soon after. I'll be proud of you then." She huffed out and poured herself another shot.

That answers that. She's sealed her fate. It made me sad that it's came down to this. Why couldn't she just love me for who I am? A tear escaped for her. She's a sad miserable woman and it's only going to get worse. Now it was time to give my dad the same opportunity for redemption.

"Where's dad at? I need to speak to him too." All I got was a stiff finger pointing me to the garage. I guess she was still angry that I questioned the marriage.

I walked out the back door and went into the garage. My dad was under the hood of the Buick checking fluid levels or something.

"Dad, do you have a minute?" I really didn't want another slap, so I needed to stay calm and watch my language. I just needed to know if his fate was the same as mothers.

"Sure, Stephanie. Talk while I work. I don't have time to stop to listen to you." He grumbled from under the hood.

"Do you think I'm rushing this marriage with Joe? Are you as excited about it as mom?" He slowly picked his head out from under the hood and his dark eyes looked murderous.

"Do you know what it feels like to know that your daughter is a whore? Do you know what it's like to hear your friends talk about your child and the things that she did? You embarrassed yourself and this family when you were sixteen years old and on Sunday, you will make it right. I don't care if you don't love Joe. You should have thought about that all those years ago before you whored yourself out to him. Do I make myself clear?" He looked at me with such disgust and disappointment. It didn't hurt as bad this time as it did the first time. I already knew how he felt, I was just giving him the same opportunity that I gave mom.

"I understand daddy, I'll be there on Sunday. You can guarantee it." I smiled widely and turned to leave. I didn't bother going back into the house. As far as I'm concerned, both of my so-called parents can go to hell. Of course, they'll have to wait until Sunday before they get there.

I left my childhood home and headed straight to RangeMan. I needed help with a few more things and then all I had to do was wait until Sunday to watch the fireworks.

I couldn't believe that it was Tuesday already. I was getting married in five days. Tank had told me that Ranger was coming back sometime this week. I asked Tank not to tell him anything about me when he saw him. I wanted to be able to explain everything myself. I've changed and I prayed that he still loves the new me.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Not mine, nor will they ever be. Just playing with them.**

****Thank you all so much for the continued reviews! I love reading about what you think is going to happen at the wedding. We'll get their tomorrow : ) I decided to add Ranger's POV to the end of this chapter. That's right...HE'S BACK, but not quite in a good frame of mind. I hope you all enjoy!

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**Chapter 18 - Loose Ends**

I can't believe my wedding is tomorrow. The past five days have flown by. I've done a lot of planning and scheming and with the help of the Merry Men, and I'm ready for everything to fall like dominos.

I hadn't spoken to Joe since the day I left the hospital. He's respected my desire to be alone this past week and I couldn't be more thankful. I've heard mumblings that he's sowing his wild oats before finally settling down. I'm sure he's out screwing half the city. I don't give a crap who or what he's doing.

The Merry Men have kept me sufficiently distracted from worrying too much. We've hung out together every night. Last night, Les invited them all to "our" bar to hear him sing. I was so proud of him when he got on stage. He dedicated his song choice to me and brought me to tears when he sang Coldplay's song _Fix You_. I think I even saw tears in Bobby and Tank's eyes, but I didn't say anything to them about it.

After his song, I ran to the stage and into his waiting arms. The crowd went crazy and kept demanding he play more, so he stayed and played a total of nine songs. We all had a blast. Jason and Hector were with us and were getting very close. I enjoyed seeing my friends so happy.

I woke up today with a slight headache from the two beers I had to drink last night. I knew I had a lot to get done before tomorrow and I didn't want to procrastinate by staying in bed any longer. So after a quick shower and a breakfast of cereal with OJ, I was ready to tackle my day.

I sat and made the mile long list of calls I had to make today. First was Judge Anderson. He assured me that everything was taken care of on his end and he would be ready to take care of business tomorrow. When I hung up the phone with the judge, I called my next victim...errrr, contact.

My parents had everything arranged for tomorrow, all I had to do was show up at the church at 1:30 to get dressed. My hair and make up would be done there and then the wedding would start promptly at 3:00 PM. An evil smile crept across my face when I realized that in a little over 24 hours, my life would be so much less complicated. Jason took that moment to exit his bedroom with Hector in tow.

"Yikes, Steph. Remind me never to cross you. You're looking a little vindictive right now." He looked intently at my face for a moment and then said, "It's a really good look on you. I've never seen you look so happy and yet so evil." I smiled at his compliment. I was going to miss him when I left here. We would still see each other, but it wouldn't be near the same.

I had already found my new home earlier this week. You might be wondering how I could afford it since I haven't worked in six months, so let me explain a few things to you. My grandparents loved me. Plain and simple fact!

A few days after I got out of the hospital, my grandma called me to join her for lunch. I didn't hesitate because I wanted to share with her everything that I have planned. What she gave me that afternoon blew my mind. After sitting down and placing my order at the small diner where we met, she presented me with a check for $825,000. I stared at the check for a few minutes and then asked where she'd gotten all that money.

She explained that her and my grandpa had made some wise investments when they were younger and never shared that information with my parents. She knew that my parents would demand to have access to the money if they knew about it and that wasn't what my grandpa wanted to use it for.

On his death-bed, he made my grandma promise to use that money to help me fly when the time was right. They always supported me no matter what and wanted nothing to hold me back. I had tears running down my face when she spoke to me.

"Baby girl, I've watched you for a long time and you've never allowed yourself to fly like we wanted. You've let people hold you down for so long. I've seen you try to spread your wings and they kept getting clipped. Hearing that you almost let those idiots break you fully nearly killed me." She paused and wiped a few tears from her wrinkled face. "Seeing you now, I know that this is the right time to give this to you. You're finally strong enough to fly, baby. You've grown so much and I can see that spark that your grandpa loved so much coming back to life. He wanted you to have this, so I am honoring his wishes. You've always been more of a daughter to me than your mother and I want to be there when you finally get to soar."

I tried to turn the money down, but she wouldn't hear of it. She saved enough for herself to live peacefully in a small apartment with other seniors her age. She planned to move out of my parents house tomorrow morning. She promised she was well taken care of.

I was so stunned that I sat and stared at the check for hours before taking it to the bank and depositing it into a savings account. I would take out what I needed when I needed it.

I used $175,000 to buy a little house on the outskirts of Trenton. It's amazing how fast you can close on a house when you offer them cash. It was as far away from the Burg as I could get and still remain close enough to RangeMan to see my friends whenever I wanted. I thought about leaving the state, but decided that running wasn't the answer. I would stay and I wouldn't let people push me out of my home town.

I used a little more money to fully furnish and install the best security RangeMan could buy. My house was ready to move into tomorrow and I couldn't wait to finally be free of Joe and the Burg. I couldn't believe that I got everything accomplished without drawing attention to myself. Not one piece of gossip was floating around about me, except those dealing with the wedding. That was my plan all along. Flying under the radar is easy when everyone is focused on the big event. Distractions were, after all, my speciality.

Along with the house, I also bought myself a new car. It wasn't as fancy as Ranger's, but it was brand new and my favorite color, red. It was a cute 2013 Honda Accord Coupe. I loved it the moment I drove it. It was fully loaded with a sunroof and it was all mine. It was currently sitting in my new driveway waiting for me to take it for a spin.

I had a home and I had a car, but I still didn't have a job. Tank offered me a spot at RangeMan and I debated on whether to take it of not. The three guys practically begged me. After I had my necessities bought, I used a big chunk of my grandparent's money to insure my future.

I spoke to Harry the Hammer and bought the bonds office from him at a highly discounted price. He had wanted to sell it for years and practically gave it to me when I told him my plans for its current employees. Even though Vinnie was his son-in-law, he didn't like the weasel any more than I did. He congratulated me on my ideas and asked if I wanted to work for him in his 'organization'. When I turned him down, he informed that the offer is always on the table and to let him know if I changed my mind. I doubt that will ever happen. I can't see myself working for a mafia family.

Harry and I kept the sale of the office hush hush and only used trusted lawyers to handle the paperwork. I had big plans for the bonds office employees come Monday morning and I didn't want any hint of it getting out. I was going to enjoy the next two days entirely too much.

I still had a nice sized nest egg in the savings account just waiting for a rainy day. I didn't plan on touching it any time soon. I had everything that I could possible need already taken care of. I was feeling pretty damn good.

Although I really had no clue how to run a bonds office, I had faith in my abilities to adapt and to learn. Tank and the guys were impresses and excited when I told them about the bonds office. I had even negotiated a contract with Tank for RangeMan to continue handling the high bond FTA's. He quickly signed the new contract and even gave me the names of some contract workers that could do the medium and low bond pick ups for me. With the support and additional resources from the guys, I knew I could make this business work. Everything was falling into place perfectly.

Everything except my love life. Ranger still hasn't made it home to me. Tank hasn't heard from him at all after he informed him about my supposed death. Ranger promised Tank then that he wouldn't do anything stupid and promised to come home to deal with Morelli. The last information that Tank heard from his contact in DC was that the mission was over and Ranger was being held for debrief and paperwork. Tank hadn't been able to talk to him. I didn't want Ranger to walk in on my wedding and freak out, so I gave Tank permission to tell him everything once he heard from him. I knew that he had been through hell with thinking I was dead, he deserved to know the truth as soon as possible. Even if it wasn't from me.

I wasn't sure how he would react to seeing me. I mean, he thought I was dead. He still believed that he had lost his chance to tell me how he feels. I just hope he still loves me and wants me in his life. Maybe he's gotten used to the idea of not having me. Maybe he'll want to stay alone. The only thing I can do about that now is wait and pray that he still wants what I want. That he still wants our someday.

I shake those depressing thoughts away. They are unproductive right not and I have to focus all my strength and energy on my wedding tomorrow. Once everything is done, I will be able to sort out my emotions about Ranger. I want whatever he's willing to give. If it's just friendship at first, then I'll take it greedily and hope he grows to want more. I just know I want him in my life.

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**Ranger's POV**

God damn, I hate the government. I mean, they've paid me millions of dollars to do their dirty work so I should have some respect for them. I don't and the longer I have to sit in this small ass room answering the same questions, the more I hate them. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to go home.

Well, that's not entirely true. I no longer had a home. The only time that I felt like I was at home was when I with Stephanie, and she was gone now. How was I going to live without my Babe?

I couldn't believe what happened to my babe all those damn months ago. After spending months out of communication, I finally got to a place where I had cell service. Freaking deserts suck. When I looked at all of my missed messages, I knew something was terribly wrong. I immediately called Tank and he told me what had happened the night that I left.

He told me about the misunderstanding and about what Morelli had done. When he told me about the suicide attempt, I didn't know what to think or do. I was so stunned that she thought that was the only option she had. He told me about her being admitted for treatment and I had hoped that she was getting the help she needed. Then he shattered my world when he told what Morelli shared with them. She was dead. They saw the death certificate. She was gone.

I don't remember much of the conversation after that. I know I made a promise to him to make it home alive so I could take care of the ass, Morelli. That is the only thing that has kept me alive all of these long months. I would have laid down and died along with her if I didn't hunger for revenge. Hearing what she suffered at his hands and knowing that his actions were part of the cause that killed her, my beast came to life. My beast has raged ever since I heard about her death and the only way to calm it was to give it the vengeance that it craves. Morelli would pay, dearly, for what he did to her.

I hadn't spoken to anyone else from Trenton since that one call. I didn't want to hear anything about the place that held so many memories of Stephanie. I didn't plan on staying after Morelli was dealt with. I had no plans on where I would go or what I would do, I just knew I couldn't stay there. I couldn't walk the same streets and sleep in the same bed without her. She was my entire life, and now she is gone.

I flirted with the idea of taking back my retirement from the military, but decided against it. I wanted to spend more time with my daughter. She's the only person, besides the guys and my parents, that I have left that matter to me.

After what felt like days of questions and piles of paperwork, I was finally released with no more than a handshake and a pat on the back. At least I was getting to leave. I've lost so many friends in battle. They gave the ultimate sacrifice for freedom and the only thing their families got was a folded flag.

It was now Friday evening and I planned on staying in DC one more night at a hotel and then I planned on driving to Trenton tomorrow. I had a rental car and I wanted to take the time to clear my head before facing old demons. God I wasn't looking forward to going back there.

I glanced at my cell phone when I exited the government building. There were numerous missed calls from Tank, Bobby, and even Lester. Why can't they understand that I really don't want to talk to them. I don't want to hear the stupid questions. Why is it our first question to someone who is obviously in pain is 'how are you feeling'? I mean, really. I couldn't deal with the questions or the looks of pity. Nope, not going to happen. Not going to call or ever go back to RangeMan Trenton.

I made my way to my hotel and placed my small bag in my room and headed down to the bar. I'm not usually a drinker, but there were too many thoughts in my head to just try to sleep. I had to silence them and I chose the weak option of alcohol. I drank my sorrows away until I couldn't feel anymore and then I quietly made my way up to my room. I had women trying their hardest to "take care" of me in my weakened state. None of them appealed to me. None of them were Stephanie.

I passed out the minute I laid down and woke early the next morning with a horrible hang over. Oh well, it distracted me from the real pain that was deep in my heart.

After a fast shower I checked out of the hotel and got into my car for the drive to Trenton. It was Saturday so there wasn't a lot of traffic, but I didn't speed and I didn't take the direct route. I drove leisurely and took my time heading back to the place I least wanted to be.

It was past dark when I finally pulled into the driveway of my house, the bat-cave as Steph dubbed it. I looked sadly at the huge brick structure that she never got to see. I couldn't stay here. Even though this is the only place that there wasn't a memory of her, it still held my hopes and dreams of our life that we will never get share. This was going to be the house where I carried her after our wedding. The house that we raised our kids in. The house where we sat together in rockers when we were old and wrinkled. What a waste it is now.

I thought of all the time I wasted. I could have had Stephanie in my life at any time, and I used every excuse to push her away. I knew I loved her years ago. Shit, after the Ramos situation I knew that she was the one. I even bought a fucking ring. Why the hell didn't I just give it to her? Why did I string her along and lie to her? I could have saved us both so much pain and suffering.

I had enough of my damn internal musings. I didn't want to think about this shit anymore. It hurt too damn bad to think about it. I looked one more time at the house that I would never again live in. I said goodbye in my mind to the life that should have been and felt a few tears fall from my eyes.

I pulled out of the driveway and drove to Newark and got a hotel room. I decided after a good night sleep, I would spend tomorrow finding and eradicating Morelli and then I would get the fuck out of dodge. I only spent about 45 minutes in Trenton today and that was too damn long. After tomorrow, I would never go back.

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A/N - So question to all my fabulous readers. Tomorrow is the big wedding as told from Stephanie's POV. Do you want to read Ranger's POV of the events too? It would be a separate chapter that I would post on Thursday or should I just move on to the Monday Bond's Office Blowout? What do you all want to read?


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Well here it is! The long-awaited wedding. I had a blast writing this chapter so I hope you all enjoy reading it.

Thank you all so much for your continued reviews. It means the world to me when I read the kind words from you fantastic readers! Love you all! And now...without further ado...REVENGE!

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**Chapter 19 - Bridezilla**

You've seen the movies where the girl wakes up on her wedding day and the birds are singing and the sun is shining, so you just know that it's going to be a wonderful day for a celebration. Well, I woke up to my wedding day the complete opposite. Although I found it fitting that a huge storm cell had settled over Trenton so it was supposed to rain all day and there even chances of severe thunderstorms. Perfect. Even mother nature agrees that today was not meant to be a happy joyous day. Today was for revenge (cue ominous music).

I didn't have to be at the church until 1:30 so I planned on spending the morning getting all of my stuff packed up so I could move into my house this evening. I was looking forward to starting my new life today.

Jason was taking today off so he could be there for the show. He is the only one that has full knowledge of everything that is going down today. The Merry Men know most of it, but even they don't know it all. I'm not sure if he's shared all the information with Hector or not. I don't ask about their pillow talk, but I know they have spent every night together since they met.

Speak of the devils. I was doctoring my morning cup of coffee when they both emerged from Jason's room. They both gave me a kiss and ruffled my mop of curls. I'm going to miss living here.

"You ready for today?" Jason had a giant smile on his face and a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Seeing how giddy he looked made me smile too.

"Damn straight. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces." I glanced at Hector, "You got everything you need?" He had a huge role to play today and I didn't want to him to need something at the last minute. With a huge smile and a quick nod from the ex-gang member , I knew he was ready.

"Good. Glad we're all ready to get this shit over with. I'm looking forward to seeing the people who I've heard so much shit about. I'm the only one who doesn't have faces to put with all the crazy stories." Jason looked excited. He'll learn to regret those words later today.

"Oh, you'll see more of them then you ever wanted to." I said with a smirk and headed to the bathroom to shower. I guess I needed to attempt to look good for my wedding, right?

I threw on a button up shirt and a pair of lounge pants after my shower and then packed up all my stuff from Jason's loft. I really didn't have a lot so it didn't take up near enough time. I decided to stop by RangeMan before heading to the church, so I packed up my belongings in Jason's car. He was letting me borrow it one more day.

I pulled into the underground garage at RangeMan and then headed up to the control room. I figured that is where all the guys would be, and I wasn't disappointed when I got there. As soon as the elevator opened on the fifth floor, there was a giant wall of black waiting for me and the cheers were deafening. Sheesh, I just saw all the guys yesterday.

I got hugs from all of them and words of encouragement were whispered in my ears. I loved my guys. They knew exactly what I wanted from them.

I finally made my way to Tank's office. He stood in the doorway with a shit eating grin on his face. Bobby stood behind him with the same smile. I walked into the office and took my normal spot on the leather couch. Tank and Bobby followed and sat in the chairs in front of me. I wondered where Les was.

"Where's the third musketeer? Where there is one, the other two aren't far behind." Tank laughed loudly. The sound of his booming laugh caused me to jump.

"He's picking up your wedding present." Bobby gave Tank a look that I couldn't decipher. I brushed it off and snorted at the wedding present idea.

"Present huh? You realize that I'm not really getting married today, right? I don't get a present."

"You'll like this present little girl. Trust me." Tank smiled again and then we got down to business discussing last-minute plan changes.

I informed Tank and Bobby where I wanted them and the guys to wait. The longer they stayed out of people's eyesight the better. Joe still thinks I hate them and that they think I'm dead. What a moron.

I stayed at RangeMan until the last possible minute, I sure as hell wasn't going to the church early. I enjoyed lunch with all of my guys and then decided that I needed to go. I gave each man a kiss and a hug on the way to the elevator. Tank and Bobby accompanied me down to the garage. Before climbing in the car, I turned to them. For the first time since I came up with this idea, I began to doubt myself. Tank saw the doubts and grabbed me in a hug.

"You can do this, Steph. You are the bomb at distractions and this is just like that." He pulled me back and looked right into my eyes. "And, just like those jobs you do for us, every guy here will be there for you. We have your back. We won't let anything bad happen to you."

I knew they would all be behind me. I knew I could do this. I took a deep breath and stood on my tiptoes to kiss Tank gently on the lips. He was shocked for a second and then allowed me to honor him with a friendly peck. He smiled as I pulled back.

"Hey, what about me?" Bobby asked and tried to sound insulted, but the laugh escaped in between his words gave his playfulness away. I rolled my eyes and pulled his face down for a friendly kiss too. I didn't want him to feel left out. He was blushing when I pulled away.

"You know..." Bobby draped his arm around my shoulders and turned me towards the open car door. "If Bossman and Santos don't step up, I'm sure as hell going to." I knew from the tone and his face that he was joking. I laughed and promised him that he was the next in line. They were both laughing when I closed the car door and drove out of the garage.

I arrived at the church exactly at 1:30. My mother was pacing out front and came rushing toward the car the minute I stopped. Great. Time to plaster on the fake smile and get this show on the road.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum. You're late to your own wedding. How could you be so careless and thoughtless? Do you know how worried..." I didn't let her finish.

"I'm not late, I'm right on time and you're just wasting time by standing here berating me. Let's go inside so I can get ready." I turned and walked toward the church where I was supposed to become Mrs. Joseph Morelli. Puke.

My mom lead me to a small room in the back of the sanctuary where I was supposed to get ready. There was a woman to do my hair and another to work on my make up. I sat in the appointed chair and they both got busy. I relaxed and enjoyed the pampering. Why not, I deserved it.

Once they were done, I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the dress. God was it ugly. I let my mother have control over everything, so I didn't see it until now. It was a giant monstrosity of white tulle and hideous beads all over the bodice. I felt like a giant marshmallow when I put it on. I'm not sure I can even walk in this damn thing.

My mom slipped the veil on my head and handed me my bouquet of flowers. She let a tear fall when she got a look at the finished product. I had to hold back the eye roll. Valerie, my sister, came into the room a few moments later. She was designated as my matron of honor so she wore a floor length plum-colored gown. Good greif, could my mother not be more creative than choosing plum as the color. I couldn't control the eye roll at seeing my sister smiling stupidly.

"We're almost ready to start. Are you ready for this?" Val asked looking a tad bit concerned. We had never been close growing up and even more distant as adults. She had her own life with a husband and kids. She never did support me fully, but she never did anything to bring me down either. I wasn't sure how she would react to the events that were about to unfold. I would love to have a good relationship with my sister, but it was her choice whether she could support my decisions or not. If she couldn't, then she would be removed from my life just like everyone else.

There was a sharp knock on the door and my father entered the room. A grunt was his whole conversation. My mom left to take her place in the front pew and Val got ready to walk down the aisle.

I took one last look in the mirror. I closed my eyes and took one last deep breath. I glanced briefly at the scars on my exposed arms. I ran a finger down one. Those scars were the reason I was doing this. It had to be done.

I heard the beginning strands of music start to play and my father grabbed my arm to lead me out of the door. Once I stepped out my neck began to tingle and the hairs began to stand up. I knew that feeling. I hadn't felt it in six long fucking months. Ranger was here. I looked around to see if I could spot him. I didn't see any of the Merry Men. I asked them to stay back because I didn't want them to be seen before it was time.

Movement from my left caused me to look in that direction. Hidden in the shadows of the sanctuary was the most amazing site. Ranger stood dressed in his best Armani suit. Beside him stood Tank, Bobby and Lester who was sporting a huge grin on his face. I guess Ranger was my wedding present that he was picking up.

I wanted to run to him and never leave his arms, but I had a show to put on. I looked deep in his eyes and saw the love and pride that he had for me. I could hear every thought and I knew he was hearing mine. I guess I had ESP too. A slight nod told me all I needed to hear. It was his show of support and I knew then I was going to do this and it was going to be good.

The wedding march started and my father took my arm and led me down the aisle toward my future asshole, I mean my husband.

As I walked down the ridiculously long center aisle, I tried to see who all was in attendance. It looked like the entire Burg showed up for this fiasco. Perfect. The more people who are here, the better this all will be.

When we finally reached the front of the church, my father handed me off to Joe and I turned to face him. The priest stepped up and began the ceremony. I had to listen to a long-winded speech about love being patient and kind...blah blah blah. True love is all of those things, but what Joe feels for me and what I feel for him is no where close to true love. In fact, loathing came to mind as the emotion I most felt for the man in front of me.

I could feel Ranger's eyes on me through the entire speech. He was staring right into the back of my head. I didn't have to turn around to confirm it, I knew he was there. I could his eyes burn my skin.

It was time for the vows and the priest asked Joe to go first. He took my hand in his and began.

"I, Joseph Morelli, take you, Stephanie...my Cupcake, to be my friend, my lover, the mother of my children and my wife. I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want...which I won't WANT much, right...in times of sickness...including all your injuries...and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure...which there will be a lot of those...and in times of triumph...not so much of those. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you...because we all know that you get into crazy situations. I promise to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity." Well shit, he managed to work in insults during his wedding vows. What an asshole.

The priest nodded to me and it was my turn. I took a deep breath and spoke loudly.

"Along with my vows, I've prepared a picture slide show to show my love for the man in front of me." I nodded to Hector, the resident 'computer geek' at RangeMan. He was in charge of getting the projector set up and he did an amazing job. Suddenly out of nowhere, a white screen came up from somewhere behind the priest and the pictures started to cycle through just as I began my vows.

"I, Stephanie Plum, DO NOT take you, Joe, to be my friend, my lover...you weren't even good at that...the father of my children or my husband. I will NEVER be yours in times of plenty and in times of want...from the pictures on the screen I can see you had very little times of want. There will be no times of sickness...how many diseases you got Joe...or times of health. There was never, nor will ever be, a time of joy. There was a lot of sorrow. I won't be beside you in times of failure...you are just one giant failure...or in times of triumph. I WILL NEVER promise to cherish and I will never respect you, or care or protect you. I have no desire to comfort or encourage you, and I will forget about you after today and never think about you again."

The entire church was silent. You could hear the occasional gasps, but I'm not sure if it was from my vows or from the pictures playing on the screen. I picked the best shots to feature just who Joseph Morelli is. The guys did a really good job capturing what the people were doing without the pictures being too trashy.

Joe stood dumbstruck staring at the screen. His face twisting in rage each time a new picture flashed across.

I finally turned to look at the 300 plus people who were crammed into the church. I looked at the shocked faces of the people in the audience. I took the hideous veil off my head and threw it on the floor along with my flowers.

"This is the man who Joseph Morelli is. You recognize the people in the pictures with him?" I found the fist victim and looked directly at her. "Terri, how was that motel? I bet your uncle is going to love that you, his favorite mob princess, is in bed with a cop. That will do wonders for the family business won't it?" One down...plenty more to go. I found the next victim.

"Robin, I used to respect you. I thought you were a decent cop, but I see you in uniform in many of the pictures. Were you on the clock when you were screwing Joe? I know you were both on duty when I caught you together in his office. What is the chief going to think? I can't imagine that he'll be pleased."

I found my once friend and looked right into her wide eyes. "Connie. I think your betrayal hurt the most. You claim to be my friend, yet you screw my boyfriend behind my back. I honestly don't care about it anymore. I'm over this, but DAMN...I thought you at least had class. You and Joyce together with Joe? That's just nasty." I turned to my arch nemesis. She had an approving smile on her face and I had to smirk back at her.

"I would ask what you thought about all of this Joyce, but you're nothing but the town whore anyway so I doubt this phases you much. I just hope you all made him wear condoms, because some of these girls look like they came from Stark Street."

"WHAT THE FUCK CUPCAKE?" Joe finally shook himself out of the shock. "Where is this coming from? Shut it off now!" He took a step toward me, but I held my ground and didn't back away.

"You no longer get to tell me what to do. You have lost that privilege." I turned back around to the people sitting in the pews. "Let's continue shall we?" I found the person in the audience that I was looking for.

"Dr. Fisher. How nice of you to be here. What did Joe have to do for you to agree to keep me locked up for six months? Oh wait, here it is." The picture of my psychiatrist and Joe was up on the screen. Perfect timing, Hector.

"I'm pretty sure that the medical board is going to have a problem with some of this. You used your authority as my doctor to manipulate me. You signed my fake death certificate so you could keep me locked away for six months. You lied to me many times and for what? Just so you could have a piece of the Italian Stallion? Was it worth it? Was it worth your license or your freedom?" I nodded toward the side door and Judge Anderson walked through with uniformed cops that I didn't know.

They approached Dr. Fisher and placed her in handcuffs. "Tammy Fisher, you are under arrest for false imprisonment, kidnapping, fraud and conspiracy to commit a felony." Her face turned pale. I honestly didn't care if any of the charges stuck or if she was thrown in jail. She was humiliated and her licensed would be revoked. That I could guarantee. I would make sure she didn't have the opportunity to manipulate and abuse another person like she had me.

She was led from the church in handcuffs by two of the officers. Judge Anderson looked at his once Godson and shook his head. The church was deathly silent. The movie still played and just like I suspected my mother just couldn't hold her tongue any longer.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum. What are you doing? You are ruining your only chance for a happy marriage. You will stop this right now and marry Joseph like you promised." I looked right into her eyes before I spoke.

"I will never marry this piece of scum. If you think what he offers me is considered a happy marriage, than you are a sick human being. You knew he abused and raped me and yet you LOVE him more than your own daughter. What kind of mother are you?" I finally let my disdain for this woman become vocal and my words dripped with hate and disappointment. She just couldn't let it be and decided to embarrass herself more.

"How could you do this to me? You're an embarrassment to this family and to this community. You always have been. I wish now that I had gotten that damn abortion when I found out you were a girl. I just knew you were going to be trouble from that day forward." She slapped her hand over her mouth when she realized what she had said. The look of disgust on her "friends" faces were music to my ears. She was pretending to be a good "Catholic", but she just proved her true colors.

"Embarrassment? I'll show you what's an embarrassment." With a nod, the screen lit up with pictures of Joe and my mother together. The gasps that were heard made me smile. My mother stared in horror as her big secret came out for everyone to see. My father stood up from his seat and charged at me. He was pissed.

Jason got to me first and grabbed my dads hand just as he was about to slap me. Eddie Gazarra, local cop and close friend, was there next and grabbed my father's other arm. I stepped right into his face and spoke to him. With another nod to Hector, the photos of my father on Stark Street with his 'girls' replaced the ones before it.

"You will never lay another hand on me again. You can try to put me down to make me conform to your ways, but I refuse to bend. I will never be like the woman standing behind you. You are just like her, an embarrassment. You disgust me and after today, I will be an orphan. I don't have parents and I will never speak you either of you again. You and the person that I used to call mom, will continue to live you lives however you wish. You will not think about me, you will not talk about me, you will not try to contact me. After today, I am dead to you. Got it?" I'm not sure if he saw the resolve in my eyes or if he heard it in my voice, but he knew I meant every word that I sad. He nodded.

"Good, now take that piece of trash with you and get out of my sight." I pointed to my mother who was sobbing. I destroyed any standing that she and my father had with the Burg. They held that position in such high regard that I knew it was the best place to attack them. They say to hit them where it hurts, well I did just that. As my parents began to walk toward the door, I looked at the people still sitting in the church. It was time for the Burg to learn a lesson too.

"You people still think that Joseph Morelli is a good guy? He's tried so hard to escape his father's genes, but he failed. He's abusive, both physically and mentally. If you think I deserve that kind of treatment, then you can leave with them. From this day forward, Stephanie Plum is no longer your door mat. My name will not be mentioned by you people ever again. I'm sick of the gossip and the whispers. I don't give two fucks what you think about me. Find something better to do with your lives. What I do in my life is no longer your concern."

I turned toward Joe to finish what I had to say. Jason and Eddie were still standing close to me. They didn't like the look on Joe's face either, I guess.

"Joseph Morelli. I let you control me for far too long. That ends today. You molested me when I was six and raped me when I was sixteen. You emotionally abused me just so you could keep me under your control. You cheated on me and then physically abused me. You raped me again six months ago and I will never forgive you. I never loved you nor will I ever see you as anything but a worthless excuse for a human and a waste of air. You are a disgrace to your badge and to your family and I hope you rot in hell." I turned to leave but was stopped by Joe's voice.

"Who the hell is going to want you now? You are a poor sad excuse of a women. You couldn't even kill yourself. You fail at everything you try to do. You're an embarrassment to your family and to me. Hell, you're an embarrassment to this whole town. You have no where else to go. No one who wants you. It's me or nothing, Cupcake."

I took a deep breath and looked to the back of the church. There stood all my guys from RangeMan. In the front of the group, stood Ranger. He had his arms crossed over his massive chest and he had a 2000 watt smile on his face. I turned back to Joe and smiled sweetly.

"I have a crap ton of people who want me Joe. You tried to tear me away from them, but you failed. Even after you lied to them and told them that I was dead. Those men..." I pointed behind me. Joe finally looked to where I was pointing and turned pale. He knew then that it was all over. He had lost and then he snapped.

"You ruined my life, you stupid bitch. I was supposed to be the superhero. You ruined my shot at staying in the military when you broke my fucking leg. You will regret this, count on seeing me again. I will never give up my quest to destroy your happiness." Jason and Eddie were restraining him while he ranted and raved. It made me laugh to see him this way. So pathetic and sad. So broken.

"I meant what I said, Joe. After today, I will never think of you again. I will live my life and I will be happy. I have everything that I need and want. You however, will spend what's left of your life in jail." Judge Anderson approached Joe and a cop placed him in handcuffs. The look of disgust on the judge's face was enough to make Joe start crying. He actually started begging for leniency. HA!

"Joseph Morelli, you are under arrest for kidnapping, false imprisonment, fraud, conspiracy to commit a felony, rape, and assault and battery. You have the right..." That was I needed to hear.

I turned away from the sad site in front of me and began walking toward my chosen family, towards my guys. Joe just couldn't hold his tongue and had to say something stupid.

"I'm always going to be around, Cupcake. You can't get rid of me this easy. You will be mine." Seriously, what was wrong with him. I smirked at Ranger and turned my head to look at Joe to ask a rhetorical question.

I opened my eyes wide at him and glared and then turned my hungry gaze to Ranger. "Joe, Joe, Joe. Why would I settle for a stallion...When I can ride a GOD?" I laughed and walked into the open arms of the man who I loved. I was finally home.

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A/N - Was it everything that you wanted? : )

Joe and some other people still have some more coming to them, but Steph's finally told the Burg to fuck off. Ranger's POV is next!


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, although I prefer my version of Stephanie and Ranger than JE's.**

I had to do it! The begging and the pleading was too much. You guys are getting two in one day again! I'm so freaking ecstatic that you all enjoyed the wedding and Steph's revenge! Thanks so much for all the reviews! You guys sure make me feel special : )

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**Chapter 20 - Home**

Ranger's POV

Today is the day. Today I will take care of the worthless piece of scum Morelli and then I'll disappear. I have no desire to spend any more time in Trenton than I absolutely have to. After my morning run and a fast breakfast. I decided that I better stop by my parents since I am in Newark. My mother would kill me if she found out I was here and didn't stop to see them. Yes, I'm a little scared of my mother.

I drove over to their house and walked in to them having a late breakfast. They were both surprised to see me and each gave me crushing hugs. The relief was clear on their faces and it tore at my heart that I made them worry when I was gone for so long.

As much as I tried to push my family away to keep them safe, I realized sitting here listening to my mother talk my ear off that I wanted them in my life. I didn't want to push them away anymore. I wanted to latch onto them and never let them go because they are all I really have left. Stephanie was gone.

A tear fell from my eye as I thought about all the plans I had for my life with Stephanie. Dreams that would never come true. Wishes that would never be fulfilled. I wasn't listening to my mother and wasn't even paying attention, but my father's strong arms coming around me in a hug interrupted my thoughts. He didn't know the reason, but he knew I needed the comfort and for the first time in decades, I let myself cry.

I never told my parents about my feelings about Stephanie. My mother suspected something when she saw how Steph reacted to me being shot. My parents met her briefly at the hospital, but I never shared any of my hope or dreams about her with them. When they brought her up, I changed the subject or left the house. It was time to share with my parents everything. I needed to get all of this shit out and they were the best to help shoulder the grief.

My parents let me finish the embarrassment of tears and then lead me into the living room where I let everything come out. From the first time I met her, to our first kiss and that asinine deal that I made. I told them about everything that we shared together and about how fucking much I loved her. I told them about the last day I saw her and about what happened that night. When I got to the part of her dying, my throat closed and I felt like I couldn't breath. My parents just sat there and patiently waited for me to finish everything and then both took me in their arms as I cried again. God, I'm not acting like the tough mercenary now. It was my father who could read my thoughts today and he spoke in a gently whisper.

"Son, you have been strong for so long. Your reaction to losing the love of your life does not make you weak. I would be worried about you if you didn't allow yourself to mourn." He was right. I had to be strong for so long. It was expected of me. No one would respect a weak leader.

"Carlos, I can't imagine the pain that you are going through now. I can see just how much you loved Stephanie. Please don't go off and hide away from us. Let us help you through this." Guess my mom could read my thoughts too. That is what I was planning on doing. Hiding and mourning in peace.

We were silent as I gathered my composure again. My parents didn't push me to talk or demand that I tell them everything. They were very patient with me and let me speak only when I wanted to. I was done talking about Stephanie. I really didn't want to start crying again.

We spent the next hour talking about my retirement from government work. My parents were so relieved that I wasn't going to have to go back into combat situations. They could finally relax about what I was doing. I told them that I planned on moving to Miami and working from the office down there. I would be close to Julie and there would be no memories of my Babe.

They didn't like it, but understood how hard it was to be surrounded by her at every turn. I finally decided that I needed to leave and stood off the couch. Both my parents took me into their arms. My mother whispered something in my ear and it took a while for the words to register.

"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before. Keep your eyes open, my son." She patted my face and I left the house.

I thought about what my mom said as I drove. It's true. I still have good things in my life, but it doesn't make me miss my love any less. I understand what she was saying and I'll focus my attention on the good that I still have. Julie and my business are the good needing my attention now.

I pulled up to the front of my house again. I had to go inside this time. I didn't want to go to the office. I would work from home, I just need a little help. I called Tank.

"Yo" Steph hated the way we answered phones.

"Yo, yourself."

"Ranger?" Tank sounded surprised

"Yeah, listen. I'm back in Trenton and need a location on Morelli. I want to take care of this shit and then I'm going down to Miami."

"OH SHIT. Umm...where are you? I'm going to send Santos to you. He can help you do whatever." That's weird. I don't need help with dealing with Morelli, but he can help with the clean up while I get out-of-town.

"At the house. I need a drop gun from the lockup downstairs. Tell him to grab one and get his ass here. I want to get out this fucking town." I hung up without hearing his response. I knew my orders would be followed.

I waited about 20 minutes and heard a car pull up outside. I didn't bother getting up from my couch, he had a key and could let himself in.

"Ranger..it's good to see you again man." He looked too damn chipper for my mood.

"What the fuck are you smiling about? You get laid before you came over here?"

"Nope, but I do have some news for you. You have to promise something first." He got serious. Damn, this is either really bad or really good.

"Just tell me what you have to Santos. I'm not in the mood for your fucking games." It looked like he was having an internal battle in his mind. He was debating on telling me the information or not.

"Damn it, Santos. Tell me now!" My patience was way past gone.

"Okay, damn! We had a visitor come to the office last Sunday that shocked the shit out of us." He paused. Like I give two shits who came to the office to visit. The one person I want to be there will never be again.

"Ranger, Stephanie is alive. She showed up Sunday out of the blue. Morelli lied to us and kept her locked up at the hospital for six fucking months." I stopped breathing and looked at him. He was a dead man if this was a joke.

"I'm not joking. I wouldn't do that to you. She's alive. Morelli also lied to her and told her you died. He cut off all communication from her too. There was no way for her to contact us and he fed her all this bullshit about us abandoning her. He tried everything he could think of to separate us and you from her. She's back man, and she is fucking unbelievable."

That fucking piece of shit is going to pay double now. I've been trained in psychological warfare and it's some serious shit. He's played my Babe and all of us from both sides. Smart, but also fucking stupid. When my rage at Morelli settled down a bit, the reality that Stephanie was still alive hit me like a ton of bricks.

The pain that had settled deep into my heart and soul since I heard that she died, lightened a little. It wouldn't disappear fully until I saw her with my own eyes. I couldn't believe that she was alive and she was healthy. Suddenly the dreams that I had for our life together came back, and I could actually see her living here with me. Walking through the kitchen in my t-shirt. She always looked so damn sexy when she wore my clothes.

God, I couldn't wait to bring her back here. To finally make her mine. I wasn't wasting another minute, I wanted her in my life and I was going to have her. I wanted to touch her face and smell her unique scent. I wanted to kiss her luscious lips. I wanted to hold her and tell her that I was never going to let her go. Before I could do any of that, I had to see her. I had to prove to my heart and my soul that their other half was indeed still alive.

I stood up off the couch and headed toward the door, nothing was going to stop me from seeing her now.

"Ranger. Wait. This is what I didn't want you to do. You have to trust me. You can't see her right now. Soon, but not now." Who the fuck was he to tell me I can't see her.

"Where is she? You will tell me now." I used my CO voice from the army days. He should know better than anyone that you don't want to get in between me and Stephanie. The last ass kicking that I gave him was because he tried to do just that. Will my cousin ever learn?

"Carlos. You can't see her yet. Do you trust me?" He was serious. Something was going on and I wanted to know what it was.

"I trust you with my life, now tell me what I need to know." I sat again on the couch and prepared myself to hear what was going on.

It took Santos an entire hour to tell me everything that happened. He started at the beginning because he felt I needed to hear it all. I knew most of the stuff that lead her to try to kill herself, but it was good to hear it again. It just made me want to hurt Morelli more.

When he told me what he found when he got to her apartment that night, I saw for the first time just how much he cares for my babe. I could see the haunting look in his eyes and the shudder that racked his body as he relived one of the worst nights of his life. I can't imagine seeing something like that. I've seen war wounds and blood, but to see someone who means the world to you dying...I can't imagine. I owe Les for saving her life that night. His quick thinking to get the blood flow stopped saved her life. I don't know how I'll ever repay him.

When he got to Stephanie's plan for revenge, I couldn't believe it. My Babe may have been broken and weak, but from the sound of it now she is anything but that. She sounds fierce. I always knew that deep down she had the strength to finally take a stand for herself. From the sounds of her plans, that was going to happen today. I wanted to be there.

"What time is the wedding?" Santos looked worried. He didn't know how I was going to react to everything.

"Starts at 3:00, but Steph asked that we stay in the back until she's ready for us. She has no idea that you're back." I smiled at him. Oh, this is going to be fun.

"We leave at 2:30. Be back here and ready by then." I stood up and rushed up to my room to get ready. Sounds like I'm going to a wedding.

I showered and threw on my business Ranger suit. Stephanie could never resist me when I wore my Armani suit. According to her, it's her second favorite look. Naked being her first choice. I can make that happen later today too.

Les showed up at 2:15 dressed in his corporate meeting suit. Most of the guys hate dressing this nicely, but were willing to go against their comfort to please my Babe. How she managed to wrap a whole building of mercenaries around her fingers, I will never know.

At exactly 2:55, Santos and I met Brown and Tank behind the church where my Babe was scheduled to marry Morelli. We all did the complicated handshake that Steph can never get the hang of. Tank took me aside and from the look on his face, he wanted to have a serious conversation.

"You sure you can handle this man? I promised Steph that we wouldn't interfere with her shit going down today. You going to be able to control yourself?" I smiled at him and nodded my head. We all headed in a side door and took our place in a dark corner in the back of the sanctuary. My neck began to tingle and I knew she was close. I never thought I would feel that tingle again and it almost brought me to my knees.

A door opened and out stepped the most beautiful sight. Well, the dress and veil was ugly as hell. What was her mom thinking? Even though she was covered in a crap ton of fabric, I still saw the beauty that was under it. I knew the moment she felt my presence. She began to look around, searching for me.

I stepped out of the shadows slightly. I didn't want to draw attention to us, but it was enough movement to get her attention. When her eyes finally found me, the look of relief and peace on her face made my breath catch in my throat. I tried to tell her with my mind that I loved her and that I was so proud of her. I think she got the message because her eyes got big for a brief second. I saw the love in her eyes and gave her a short nod to tell her that I support what she needed to do.

She turned back toward the front of the church and let her father lead her to the front where Joe waited for her. I wanted to pull my gun out and shoot him in the face, but I promised to control myself so I did.

I listened to the Priest ramble on about love being this and that. I kept my eyes trained on the back of Stephanie's head. I thinking that my love for Stephanie was all of those things. Always had been and always would be. I was serious about making her mine for the rest of our lives. The ring that I bought years ago, is sitting in the Turbo.

When it was time for the vows, Tank Lester and I began to move into our positions. Stephanie had a special request and we were damn well going to follow it. When we got to the set of double doors that led to the foyer, I saw that the whole hall was filled with my employees. Every Merry Man from Trenton was there and they looked ready to kill someone. Hector was standing with a guy that I didn't recognize, maybe we hired a new employee.

Listening to Joe recite his vows made me want to kill him slowly. Very, very slowly. With every insult he added to what was supposed to be a beautiful declaration of his love, the guys growled. None of us could believe he was using his wedding vows to beat her down further. I never hated him more than at that moment.

When it was Stephanie's turn, she turned to look at Hector and gave him a slight nod. I knew she had a secret surprise planned but I didn't exactly know what it was. When the pictures started cycling and she started reciting her vows, I was blown away.

Every woman who Joe had been with was plastered on the screen for everyone to see, but it was her words that made me so very proud of her. The fire sparking in her ice blue eyes made me want her even more, if that was possible. When she turned to address the women in the pictures directly, I was so turned on. My babe was taking a stand for herself and it was fucking hot.

Watching as she cut down every woman who Joe had been with was amazing to watch, but when she finally got to her psychiatrist and had her arrested...again, mind blown! I recognized the judge that read the bitch her Miranda rights. I would owe him a few favors once all this was over.

The only time that I almost broke my promise to Tank and lost control was when that bitch of a mother said she should have aborted her. How anyone could know Stephanie and think that the world would be better without her in it, is fucking crazy. I was ready to knock that bitch out and drag Stephanie away from the hateful words, but I held back. The look on Helen's face when she saw the reaction of her supposed friends was enough for me to calm down. Stephanie had achieved her goal. I couldn't look at the damn pictures of Morelli and Steph's mom. Damn, man. What the hell. If you couldn't have one Plum, you settled for the mom? Sick!

I stepped forward when I saw her dad charge at her, but the guy Hector was with got to her first. He stopped her father from hitting her and stopped me from having to kill someone today. If that guy wasn't an employee yet, he would be soon. I could see the care and concern he had for Steph. Eddie appeared on the other side of Frank and held him in place while Steph spoke to him.

I have never been so turned on in my entire life. The look in her eyes and the venom in her words made Steph even more beautiful. I have never been so proud of her. She finally did what I have wanted her to do for years. She stood up to her parents, the Burg, and most importantly to Joe. She freed herself from all the expectations and all the gossip.

Joe's last attempt to bring her down was sad but comical and the moment that he realized that we all were standing here was priceless. He knew at that moment that he had lost. He lost everything that mattered to him.

Watching as the judge directed the cops to place Joe under arrest was bittersweet. I wanted to hurt that son of a bitch, but it was going to be hard now that he was in police custody. The list of charges against him was staggering. He was going to prison for a hell of a long time.

Stephanie's parting words to the broken Morelli had me ready to throw her on the floor and have my wicked way with her.

"Joe Joe Joe. Why would I settle for a stallion...When I can ride a GOD?" She just announced to the entire Burg that she was mine. We hadn't even spoken about starting a relationship, but her confidence and her determination let her boldly state that we were doing just that.

As she finally stepped into my open arms and I let them close around her, the feeling of absolute peace and tranquility was amazing. For the first time in I don't know how many years, I was happy. I was home and I was never letting this woman go.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just play with them for a bit!**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews! I'm glad everyone enjoyed Steph's revenge. She still has the bonds office to play with, but I thought her and Ranger needed some alone time first. Minor smut alert, but nothing graphic.**

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**Chapter 21 - Aftermath**

Few sensations compare to the unmistakable freshness of the air following the drama and violence of a big thunderstorm. I love going outside after a big storm and smelling the fresh cool breeze. It's peaceful and calm. I tried to find something to compare that feeling to, but have never been able to. Until today.

Stepping into Ranger's arms after finally standing up for myself, I felt that exact same feeling of freshness. I felt at peace with my decisions and for once in my life, I felt calm.

Joe was still ranting behind me in the front of the church, but I wasn't listening to him. I was focused on the man whose arms I was wrapped in. This was my heaven and I never wanted to leave. Unfortunately, I had to step away so I could continue to move on with my life.

"I'm going to go change and then we have a reception to attend." I smiled up at Ranger as I extracted myself from him. He didn't want to let me go.

"Babe." I chuckled, because I knew exactly what he was saying with that word and it was so much more than just four simple letters.

"You know, you're going to have to say more than one word to me eventually." He raised one eyebrow at me and I decided that it was time for us to talk.

I grabbed his hand and led him back to the changing area where I left my normal clothes. I had to get out of this ugly dress. Once the door was closed behind us Ranger pulled me to him again and pushed my back up against the closed-door. No words were spoken. All you could hear was our breathing. Neither of us moved, all we could do was stare into each others eyes. I'm not sure what he was seeing in mine, but his were screaming one thing. Love. He finally moved his hand up to my face to caress my cheek. It was so soft and so tender.

"I thought I lost you, Babe. You have no idea how good it feels to be able to touch you again." Ranger's voice was ragged and sounded so sad. I wanted to comfort him and reassure him that I was fine. I placed my hand on his face, mimicking the movement of his hand.

"I have a good idea what that feels like. I thought I had lost you too." I whispered and pulled his head down to mine to rest our foreheads together. We were silent once again. Both of us just relishing the fact that we had each other.

"As long as there is a breath in my body, Babe, you will never lose me." He paused for a second and took a deep breath. "I love you, Stephanie Plum. I have for years and I'm tired of fighting it. I want you. All of you. In any way that you'll let me. Friends, lovers, married, kids...whatever you want."

I had tears leaking out of my eyes by the time he was done talking. I knew the guys told me that he loved me and I felt that he did, but hearing it from him made me incredibly happy. Ranger gently wiped the tears off my face and continued stroking my cheeks.

"Don't cry, my love. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I can't imagine the pain that you went through that night." Ranger's face filled with regret. Nothing that happened was his fault and I hated that he blamed himself.

"No. You don't get to apologize, because you didn't do anything. What happened that night is my fault and I am sorry that I didn't trust in you more. If I had just listened to you when you came to my apartment that night, none of this would have happened. I'm so sorry, Ranger." I began to sob and he took me into his arms again and let me cry into his chest. I finally got the tears to stop and found the strength to use my voice.

"They say that everything happens for a reason. I guess I needed to completely break so that I could put myself back together. I'm stronger than I have ever been and I only put the pieces back in my life that I wanted there. I'm living for me now and have everything that I want or need." Ranger pulled me away from him and smiled at me.

"Proud of you Babe. You never disappoint me and today was no exception. You amazed me today." I smiled at his praise. It felt so good to hear those words again.

"I love you so damn much, Ranger. I have for so long that I can't remember a time when I didn't love you. You have all of me...body, heart, and soul...they are all yours." I wanted to say more, but talking time was over when his lips met mine.

The kiss started out gentle and loving, but quickly turned into raw passion and desire. I could feel the hunger pouring off the man pressed into me and I was just as starved as he was. His hands were wandering over the acres of material trying to find an opening to my skin. After several minutes of kissing and eager hands, he finally gave up. He pulled back away from me and laughed lightly.

"We'll pick this up when you're out of that ugly thing. I'll step out and let you change." He kissed my nose and exited the room.

I changed quickly into a flirty dress that I found at my parents. It was older, but still fit and looked good on me. I removed the makeup that was caked on and then pulled pins out of my hair so if fell in soft curls around my shoulders. It actually looked good.

I gathered all my stuff and found all of my guys waiting in the lobby of the church. Joe was being escorted out in handcuffs by some cops and Judge Anderson. The judge stopped when he saw me and smiled.

"Ms. Plum, that was more than I ever hoped for. Thank you." He offered his hand to me and I shook it happily.

"It was my pleasure, and thank you for handling the legal stuff. Will the charges stick to Joe and my psychiatrist?" I was honestly curious if I had to worry about seeing them ever again.

"Joe is going to jail for a long time. With all of his charges, he won't see sunlight for a long time. I'm hoping with all the evidence that we have against him, that he will just plead guilty. If not we'll let the jury figure it out, but I bet he's going to spend many years behind bars." I knew how difficult that all this was for him because Joe was his Godson.

"Thank you so much. I doubt Joe will just roll over and plead guilty. You have all the statement from the hospital employees and you have my statements so hopefully that will be enough. Do I need to do anything else?"

"I'll let you know if I need anything else from you, Ms. Plum. You just enjoy your life. You deserve to be happy." I smiled at the man in front of me.

"It means a lot to me that you were willing to help. I know how close you and Joe were. I will never forget you kindness."

"I figured it was the least I could do since part of this was my fault. I also spoke with the RangeMan attorney and got your medical POA changed back to the right hands. I'm sorry again for my part in your suffering. I owed it to you to do everything I could to help. Plus, I don't want to get on the wrong side of Ranger and I can see how much you mean to him." I smiled and turned to look at the man himself. He was watching us closely but was letting us have our conversation without interrupting. With one last parting handshake, the judge left.

"All right guys, free food and beer at the reception hall. Let's go!" All the guys cheered and we left the church. I passed Jason his keys and hoped into the Turbo with Ranger. We made it to the reception hall in five minutes and I was surprised to see people there waiting for me. Cops and people from the Burg I didn't expect to stick around to support me. I figured they would be long gone.

Eddie opened the door to the hall when I got out of the Turbo and most of the cops that Joe worked with came pouring out to greet me. They congratulated me on finally putting Joe in his place and for outing all the other 'hooches' as they called them. Big Dog informed me that Robin was being placed on temporary suspension pending an investigation. Joe would lose his job. I was so surprised that I still had these mens friendships.

Everyone enjoyed the reception. The alcohol flowed freely, the food was good, and of course I ate my cake. I danced with everyone, but my favorite times was when I was wrapped in the arms of the man I love. Ranger barely let me out of sight the entire evening. He kept a keen eye locked on me when I danced with Jason, but he never interrupted. After the song was over, I plopped down beside him and grabbed his hand. Curiosity got the better of him.

"Babe, who is that?" He pointed to Jason with a look of jealousy on his face. He looked cute when he was in caveman mode.

"Who, Jason? Oh, he's the person I stayed with this past week while planning for today." I knew better than to tease Ranger, but it was so damn easy. Fire flashed in his eyes and he looked at Jason ready to kill.

"Relax, oh jealous one. Jason is a friend. He is an aide in the hospital where I stayed and helped me more than you can imagine. He's part of the reason that I am as healthy as I am." I turned and looked at Jason and Hector standing close together in the corner.

"Besides, I didn't have the right equipment for him to want me like you do." I pointed to the two men when Ranger looked at me confused. When he saw them he realized what I meant and smiled.

"You have no idea how bad I want you right now." He growled into my ear and nipped at the sensitive spot behind it. I'm pretty sure I knew how bad he wanted me because my desire for him matched it.

"Why don't we go to my house and you can show me just how bad you want me?" I purred into his ear and heard him suck in a breath when I licked his ear lobe. I've never been this aggressive with him. He's going to have to get used to the new and improved Stephanie Plum.

That was the last time the people at the reception saw us. Ranger grabbed me up and carried me out to the Turbo. I gave him directions to my house. When we pulled up he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"It looks like we've got a whole hell of a lot to talk about still, but it's going to have to wait until tomorrow." I couldn't agree more. We both got out of the car and met in a tangle of bodies and tongues at the front door. I was fumbling with the keys and Ranger's impatience was clear. He finally had enough and grabbed the keys out of my hands and opened the door on the first try.

The door was slammed when we got inside and I once again found myself pushed up against a closed-door. There wasn't the restricting material covering me this time and Ranger's hands found their way up my dress in a second. The heat from his hands burned every piece of skin that it touched, and he touched everywhere.

The first orgasm burst through with me while I was pressed against the door. Good Lord, is this man talented with his fingers. My second orgasm, I was laying on the kitchen island while Ranger's mouth proved that it was just as talented as his fingers.

Ranger brought me to release two more times with his tongue and fingers working together before he got to join in on the fun. The control this man has is astonishing. He moved us from the kitchen into my bedroom and laid me in the middle of the bed following me down. He rested on his forearms and looked deep into my eyes.

We didn't speak or move at first. We just enjoyed being together. When Ranger finally entered me, I couldn't believe the overwhelming feelings that I felt. Love, respect, desire, passion; but the most intense feeling was absolute completion. I was finally whole. Tears leaked from my eyes and I saw that Ranger's eyes were moist too. He had to have the same feeling I did. He began to move and everything around me disappeared. All I could see and feel was this man.

It felt like we spent hours joined together, moving and bringing each other to the edge only to back off and start again. It was amazing. I was so ready to explode that I thought when it did finally happen, I might die. Every molecule of my body was on fire, I needed release. I had to make him lose his control because it seemed like he wanted to go all night.

"I love you, Carlos." Ranger stopped moving and looked at me. That was the first time that I used his real name. That was enough to make him snap. His movements became frantic. He was just as desperate for release as I was. When we came together, I don't know which one of us yelled louder. It was the most amazing orgasm I've ever had.

I've had sex before, but until today I had no idea how much better it would be with someone who you loved and that loved you back. I honestly don't know how long we spent wrapped in each others arms trying to regulate our breathing.

When Ranger pulled out of me to lay on his back, the feeling of loss was so extreme that I rolled over on my side and attached myself as close to him as I could get. He felt the loss too because his arm tightened around me to draw me into his side even closer.

We didn't speak for a long time. We just enjoyed each other. Our hands explored the other's body and our mouths would often meet in sweet gentle kisses. At some point, Ranger turned over on his side facing me and picked up my arm.

His eyes trailed down the scar and then his lips placed little kisses along the same path that his eyes took. In between each kiss, he whispered phrases in Spanish. I had no clue what he was saying, but I didn't have to understand the language to get the meaning.

I was so ashamed of what I did that I turned my head away and let a few tears fall from my eyes. I didn't want him to know just how weak and broken I was. He gently placed his fingers under my chin to turn my face back to his.

"I'm sorry I was so weak." I choked out a quiet whisper.

"Everyone has their weak spot. The one thing that, despite your best efforts, will always bring you to your knees, regardless of how strong you are otherwise. I don't think less of you because of this, Steph. I think it makes me love you more, if that's possible." I looked into his eyes and saw the truth behind his words.

"Will you tell me about what happened?" I knew Tank told him, but he wanted to hear it from me, so I told him. I told him everything. He listened intently and didn't get angry or didn't pull away. He simply held me and rubbed his finger up and down my scar while he listened to me.

After I was done he looked at me with a look of admiration and pride.

"I'm so proud of you. You fought out of a terrible place and became a stronger person. Strength isn't about how much you can handle before you break, it's about how much you can handle after you break and you handled a lot of shit. You amaze me, Stephanie." He kissed me breathless again and then settled back down on his side.

We talked for what seemed like hours. Yes, talked. Both of us used words. Ranger opened up to me and told me what he could about his past. I learned about his family and he told me about his government jobs. Nothing classified, but way more than I have ever gotten from him before. At some point in our conversation we fell asleep.

We woke each other up multiple times during the night to reaffirm our connection. I have never felt so loved or so complete in my entire life. I knew that with Ranger beside me, I could accomplish anything.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: not mine, not making money.**

Thank you all so much for the reviews and follow/favorites. We're coming to the end of our journey together. After this chapter, there is only the epilogue left. I'm going to miss hearing from you all, so I guess that means I need to work harder on my next story.

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**Chapter 22 - Bondage**

When I woke up then next morning, Ranger and I were in the same spot as we were when we fell asleep. Or passed out from exhaustion was more like it.

I was laying on my side, facing Ranger. Our legs were intertwined along with our arms and our faces where a breath away from each other. It was an intimate position. I usually felt trapped when Joe wanted to lay like this, but with Ranger I felt comforted. He was still sleeping so I took a minute to look at the man with me.

He looked so peaceful in sleep. The lines around his eyes were relaxed and the tension that he carries in his jaw was gone. In sleep, he had no worries and his face showed just how relaxed he was. I gently brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes and he smiled at me.

"Good morning, Babe." He brushed a gentle kiss on my lips and turned over to stretch.

"Good morning, or should I say afternoon." I watched as he grabbed his watch to check the time.

"Shit, I haven't slept past noon since I was in high school." He chuckled and put his watch back down.

"Guess I'm a bad influence on you. I might need some punishment for corrupting you." I smirked at him. He shot me his wolf grin and rolled over on top of me.

"Oh, I can dish out some punishment." That was the last thing said. Words were screamed later, but I was always told that what is yelled in ecstasy is to be kept private.

When we were done, we took a shower together. I was trying to conserve water, so sue me. After I exited the bathroom, I headed into my giant walk-in closet to choose my outfit for the fun I had planned today.

Ranger came out in a little towel, honestly...why bother wearing anything at all? You wouldn't hear me complain. I tracked him with my eyes as he walked to the bed where his clothes were laying. I swear he used to be a boy scout. The always be prepared thing has proved useful. He had a duffel bag in the Turbo with a change of clothes.

"You keep looking at me like that and you don't need to bother picking out an outfit because we won't be leaving." Oops, he caught me staring. I flipped back around to face my closet and picked out a classic business suit with a longer skirt and a tight jacket. I was going to be business Stephanie today.

"What are you're plans today, Babe?" Ranger was standing behind me fully dressed and ready to leave. Damn, how does he do that so fast?

"I'm going to the bonds office. I have some employees to speak with." I smiled at him. When I told him about the money my grandmother gave me and what I did with it, he was impressed.

He liked the idea of me owning the bonds office and offered to help in whatever way he could. I knew he would do anything I asked, but I really wanted this to work out without needing his help. I wanted to succeed at something.

"What's on your agenda?" I asked him as I buttoned up the jacket and turned to look in the mirror smoothing out the few wrinkles that I saw. My hair was laying perfectly, my skin was glowing (thank Ranger for that), and my outfit hung perfectly to all of my curves. Damn, I looked hot. Ranger came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You do look hot." Damn ESP. He kissed the back of my neck and then under my ear, sucking the skin gently into his mouth. I moaned and almost threw him back onto the bed, but I controlled myself. I pulled away and turned in his arms.

"Thank you for the compliment, but you didn't answer my question." I still wanted to know what his plans were for the day. Not that I cared what he did, but I wanted to know if I would see him later tonight.

"Well, you see. There's this feisty brunette that I'm completely in love with, and she's going to battle with some people who might try to hurt her. Now, what kind of man would I be if I didn't go with her into this war zone?" Playful Ranger was sexy as hell. His eyes sparkled and his half smirk/half-smile was mischievous.

"Feisty brunette going into battle, eh? Do I know her? Because she sounds amazing." I smiled at him.

"She's beyond amazing. She's fucking incredible. I'll introduce you to her sometime..." I punched him and he ran away like it hurt. I chased him and found myself wrapped in his arms again.

"I would love it if you came with me. I'm not worried about Lula or Connie, but I don't want Vinnie to touch me. I would have to boil my skin off."

Ranger laughed and led me out of the door into his Turbo. I was looking forward to seeing the girls again. I knew they were at the church yesterday, but they didn't attend the reception and Connie was mortified when the pictures of her came across the screen. The Joe, Joyce, Connie sandwich was a show stopper.

I didn't know exactly what was going to happen after today. Would I do good as a bonds office owner? Could I own a successful business? I turned my head and smiled at the man beside me. Those things didn't matter. The only thing that mattered to me was that Ranger and I were in love and he was beside me no matter what. Anything else good, was just icing on the cake that is my life.

The trip to the bonds office didn't take much time at all. I thought I had plenty of time to prepare myself for the confrontation that was coming, but before I knew it we were parking right in front of the door. I could see Lula laying on the couch with a bucket of chicken resting on her stomach. Connie was filing her nails with her mouth flapping wildly. Vinnie's door was closed, but his car was here so I knew he was locked away in his office doing God knows what to God knows what animal. The duck story...totally true.

Ranger and I stepped through the bonds office door and an intense quietness fell over everyone. A piece of chicken fell out of Lula's mouth and Connie stopped filing mid finger. They both just stared at me.

"Vinnie. Get your ass out here." I yelled hoping I wouldn't have to go into his office to get him. It didn't take him long to zip up his pants and open his door.

"Well, well. If it isn't my wayward cousin. Have you come back here to beg for your job back? Because that aint going to happen. You left for six months and I had to hire someone else. Joyce is doing a fine job." Oh goodie, I get to fire her too.

"I'm not here to ask for my job back. I'm here to inform you of the new ownership of this office." I smiled as Vinnie's face paled.

"Harry wouldn't sell this place to anyone and even if he did, who the fuck would buy it?" Vinnie is an ugly man anyway, but he's even uglier when he's mad.

"Your right that Harry wouldn't sell this place to just anyone. The right buyer came along though and he jumped at the opportunity." I smiled again and looked at Lula and Connie who both sat with stunned expressions on their faces.

"So I'm guessing that Rambo bought the place. He's got cash to spare. We're still good Connie, Batman won't fire us." Lula looked confident in her position. Boy was she going to be surprised.

"Ranger didn't buy the bonds office...I did!" I said shooting daggers in her direction.

"Well shit, white girl. What you going to do now. You don't know how to run a business. It just going to fail and you'll be all mixed up in your feelings again." Lula snorted. Oh, you stupid woman.

"You know what, Lula. I've tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I know you had a hard life and that you're trying to better your situation, but you will NOT put me down just to make yourself feel better. You've gotten me in more dangerous situations than I care to admit and I'm sick of your shit." I stopped and tried to calm myself.

"You've been jealous of me for a long time now and I don't know why. If you respected yourself at all, you would see that you are an amazing person. Why you don't see what I see is a mystery, but I'm tired of being the fuck up just so you can feel good. You are no longer employed here. I will mail you a hefty severance check in a few days." She struggled to get off the couch. When she finally managed to stand, she stopped in front of me.

"Glad to see you've got your balls back, white girl. It's about damn time." She turned and walked out the door. I knew she would be okay. The check that I was planning to send her would take care of her until she found somewhere else to work.

"Steph, listen. I'm sorry about everyth..." Connie started trying to save her job. Not going to work.

"Nope. You don't get to just apologize for what you did and expect me to forgive and forget. You've used my life as gossip fodder for too long. My misfortunes were not something for you to sit here and laugh about and it hurt when I heard the lies you told people about me. I really don't care about you and Joe, you can have him. What amazes me is just how two-faced you are. You talk out of both sides of your mouth and I don't have room for people like you in my life. You will receive the same severance check that Lula does. You are fired effective immediately."

She didn't say anything else. She just emptied her desk drawers full of nail shit into her purse and walked out the door. Lucky for me, Joyce chose that moment to come to work. Yay, now I can fire her too.

"What are you doing here? I figured you'd be too embarrassed to show your face around here." Joyce looked at me and then turned her attention to Ranger. "You know, Batman, that it's only a matter of time before you come running to me. All of Stephanie's men end up with me eventually." She was too damn close to my man and she was practically purring.

"You know, Joyce, I'm not even going to waste my breath on you. I own the office now, you're fired, now get the fuck out."

"You can't fire me you stupid bitch. I'm going to...". She never got finish her threat because the growl coming from Ranger stopped her dead in her tracks. She took one look at me and the man standing behind me and ran out of the office. I watched her trip on her way out and face plant on the sidewalk. Karma is real, bitch. Now it was time for Vinnie.

"Vinnie Vinnie Vinnie. What am I going to do with you?" He was leaning the doorway to his office taking in the show. I'm sure he thinks he's safe because he's family. Hmmm...to fire or not to fire.

"Come on Steph. I gave you a job when you needed one. I'm your cousin. You can't fire me." He looked too damn smug. "Besides, you need me to show you how to run this place. You have no clue what you're getting into. Like normal, you jumped in without looking at the consequences and you're going to drown without me. Face, it...you need me."

"You only gave me a job because I blackmailed you and you constantly put my life in danger by giving me skips that I wasn't qualified to apprehend. What makes you think I owe you anything?" His smugness faltered. He looked scared now. "As for needing you. HA! I don't need anyone and I sure as hell don't want to be around you."

"Harry left one stipulation when he sold me the business. He told me what he wanted done with you." Now he was terrified. His father in law scared him and I loved watching him tremble.

"Wha...what did he say?"

"He said to offer you a job as a BEA. He wants you to be able to take care of his daughter. So, if you're interested, my old job is yours. The choice is yours." I already knew the answer and so did Harry. He was giving me an easy option instead of having to fire my own family. Smart man.

Vinnie went into his office and grabbed his coat and a box that I was scared to ask the contents of.

"Fuck you, Steph. I don't want your damn job. Good luck keeping the place open with no employees." With that parting shot, he left.

Ranger and I stood quietly for a few minutes. I began to shake after a few minutes and tears leaked out of my eyes. I wrapped my arms around myself to stop the involuntary shaking, but it didn't help. Ranger wrapped me in his arms.

"It's the adrenaline crash, Babe. Just relax and ride it out." He stroked my hair and whispered Spanish in my ear. I took deep breaths trying to calm myself. The smell of Ranger mixed with being this damn close to him and hearing the quiet murmur of his deep voice had me hotter than I've been in a long damn time. I had to have him now.

"Lock the door." I pulled away and he raised his eyebrow at me.

"I need you inside me now, Carlos. Please." That was all it took. In two strides he was at the door locking it and closing the cheap blinds over the windows. I'm not really sure what happened after that. One second I was standing in front of the desk and the next instant, the desk is cleared off and I'm sprawled across it naked. Ranger's hands are everywhere and I'm on fire once again.

"Inside me NOW!" With a wolf grin on his face, he entered me quickly. This joining was fierce and hungry. It was primal. It was sex at it's best. We made love last night and this morning, but this was something entirely different. This was fucking amazing. We both screamed our release and collapsed on the floor in front of the desk, tangled together in sweaty limbs.

"Shit, Babe. Did I hurt you?" Ranger looked at me concerned. All I could do was smile and shake my head.

"Not hurt...fucking amazing." He smiled at me and kissed my temple.

"That it was, Babe. You make me lose control like no one else." He sounded so shocked that I was able to do that.

"You once told me that you have all the strength, but I have all the power." I chuckled when he shook his head remembering the conversation.

"Damn straight." He laughed.

We redressed quickly and then cleaned up what we could from the desk clearing. Somethings were not going to be usable anymore. Oh well. I didn't want anything from the old office anyway. From this day forward it was out with the old, in with the new. I locked up the office and met Ranger at his Turbo. He took me into his arms and gave me a panty ruining kiss.

"I'm proud of you. You handled that perfectly. You're an amazing woman Stephanie Plum. I love you."

"I love you too. Thank you for being here. You give me the support that I needed without trying to take over. You are an amazing man. I guess we're going to be amazing together." I smiled and kissed him once more before turning to get into the car.

"Now where to?" I didn't have anywhere else to be or anything else to do so I just shrugged and Ranger smiled.

"Good. I want you to meet some people." With that Ranger pulled out and took off toward Newark. I was confused about where we were going, but didn't bother to ask. I trusted him and knew he wouldn't take me anywhere too crazy. We pulled up a while later in front of a large house. I looked at him questioningly and he just smiled and quickly kissed my hand before getting out of the car. I got out and met him on the sidewalk in front of the house.

We approached the door and waited. It was answered by a spitting image of Ranger. It had to be his father. Shit, I'm at his parents house. They're not going to want their son involved with a crazy woman. The older man grabbed Ranger in a hug and yelled into the house. Moments later an older woman joined and wrapped her arms around her son. I really wasn't sure what to do or say so I just stood back. I was nervous. After a few minutes, Ranger pulled away from his mom and decided it was time for introductions.

"Babe, these are my parents. Ricardo Sr, and Maria Mañoso. Mom, dad...this is my Babe, or Stephanie Plum." I stepped forward to shake their hands, but their looks of shock stopped me. They stood there stunned.

"I was here yesterday, Babe, and told them about you. I thought you were dead then so forgive their rudeness." Ranger shook his head and chuckled at his stunned parents.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you." I tried to shake them out of their stupor.

His mother broke out in a long string of Spanish and wrapped me in her strong arms. She was crying while she spoke to me in a language that I didn't understand. Ranger's dad wrapped us both in his arms and tried to comfort his wife. Ranger just stood behind us laughing.

After a few minutes we went into the house. We were seated in the living room talking. His parents seemed to really like me. They told me about baby Carlos and about all his siblings. We were invited back to dinner later in the week. I would get to meet the entire family then. I was actually looking forward to it. It was nice to see how a real family was supposed to be.

All too soon, it was time to go. We walked to the door and Maria stopped me and hugged me again. There were tears in her eyes when she pulled away.

"Thank you, child. You have made my son so very happy. When he was here yesterday, he was a broken man. I worried that he would never know happiness again. You are an amazing woman and I am proud that my son loves you." A few tears leaked out of my eyes as I hugged her one more time.

"We make each other happy, and we'll continue to do so for many years." I looked at the man beside me and smiled. His parents hugged us both one more time and then we were back in the car.

Before I knew it we were back at my house and sitting quietly in driveway.

"Deep thoughts, Babe?" I had so many thoughts going through my mind, that it was scary. I couldn't pin point one specific thought to talk about it, so I just shrugged and looked at him. Then it dawned on me what I wanted to ask him, but I was terrified. I loved him, he loved me so what's the big deal?

"Marry me, Carlos." Oh shit, it just came out. He snapped his head up and looked at me intently.

"Well, I mean...shit. It's too soon, I'm sorry..." I was hauled out of my seat and placed in his lap. His mouth found mine in a crushing kiss. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to explode from my chest. He pulled his mouth from mine and we tried to regulate our breathing.

"Damn it, woman. You beat me too it." Ranger smiled at me. It was my turn to snap my head up to look at his eyes. He reached into his side pocket in his cargos and pulled out a little blue box. Tiffany's...figures.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum, from the moment I met you, I knew that you were special. You have a light that surrounds you and it's that light that feeds my soul. My lungs need air to breath and my soul needs your light. You have become an essential part of my life. When I thought that I had lost you, I wanted nothing more than to die too. My soul hurts when you're not close. I tried for so long to push you away, thinking that it was what was best for you." He paused and shook his head.

"I'm so sorry for how stupid I was. I know this may seem quick, but once I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, I wanted the rest of our lives to start as soon as possible. I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?" The tears were way past being controlled and I saw a few tears leak out of his eyes too.

"Are you crazy? You are my life, my heart, and my soul. Without you, I am nothing. When I thought I lost you, my world crumbled along with my heart. I would be honored to be your wife. I love you so much!" He opened the box and slipped the ring on my finger. I didn't even look at it, it wasn't important. What was important was the man in front of me. I leaned forward and kissed him. He let me control the kiss so I kept it light. I mean we were in a little car parked in front of my house. I couldn't get myself all hot and bothered, could I?

We broke apart and I climbed off him. It was time to move this celebration inside. I wanted him. I wanted to feel that connection again. I loved this man so damn much.

Walking with Carlos into my house, I knew I was walking toward my future. The old Stephanie Plum is gone. My life was shattered and broken. My psychologist thought my breaking apart was a good thing. She told me that I would understand that it was a blessing one day. I didn't until this moment.

What's so good about picking up the pieces of my broken life? I got to choose which one's I pick up and I get to place them where I want. I have control of my life. I decide where it goes and I know for the first time in my life, I'm headed in the right direction.

Carlos, turned and smiled at me. "I think we're both going in the right direction, Babe." He was right. I knew that no matter where we went, as long as we were together, it was right.


	23. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: Not mine. I've played with them enough and now it's time to return them to JE. Until next time my friends, it's been fun.**

I can't believe this is the end of this story. You readers have no idea how much your encouragement has meant to me. Your wonderful reviews and begging for the next chapter had me typing double times to get this completed! You guys have been amazing through out this ride. Thank you all so very much! I owe two very special women a HUGE thank you, its because of them that this story was started and completed!

THANK YOU to my beginning beta. Ashley (ChuCheiX3), you are the reason that this story was ever even posted in the first place. Although I didn't use your amazing beta skills towards the end, your work on the first half was very much appreciated! Thank you again for all your hard work!

Kari, girl...you are the reason that this story is finished. Your wonderful words of encouragement have given me the internal strength to get this all done and out there for people to read! A thank you seems so inadequate, but it's all I can offer. You, girl, are amazing!

And now...the end is here.

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**Epilogue**

I can't believe the last year has gone as quickly as it has. It seems like just yesterday I found myself in a situation that I was not strong enough to handle. My life was shattered and I thought, at the time, that I wanted my life to be over. I did what so many confused and broken people do. I tried to end my life. Luckily I did not succeed. Luckily, a friend was there to rescue me. I am thankful everyday that Les came to apartment when he did. The past year has proven to be one of the worst, but yet one of my best of my entire life.

Evinda Lepins once said, "Your current circumstances are part of your redemption story." That is exactly what this past year has been. My redemption story.

The six months I spent in the hospital were probably my saving grace. Even though I was royally pissed at Joe for keeping me there so long, I should thank him. It was there that I learned so much about myself and got the courage I needed to live my life how I wanted. No more letting people control me or my decisions. I no longer think, "What will the burg think" or "what will my mom think"? I live for myself.

My friends have been amazing throughout everything. Both old and new have made deep impacts in my life and I couldn't be more thankful for their support. Jason quit the hospital and started working for me at the bonds office. He is an excellent BEA and loves his new job. He's almost finished with his schooling and I've even convinced him to continue on and get his doctorate is psychology. His help and support while I was in the hospital was invaluable. He confessed to me not too long ago that he was in a dark place too when i first met him. He didn't do anything extreme like me, but he understood what I was going through. He credits me for helping him get better, so in a way...we saved each other. He and Hector moved into together a month ago. They're happy so I am happy for them.

My friend that I met in the hospital, Kari, got discharged and stayed with me and Carlos for a week at my house. She was so scared to be on her own so I helped her find an apartment not too far away from me and gave her a job at the office with me. She's the new Connie. Although, much friendlier and much better looking. Everyone who see's us together says how much we look-alike.

She has taken to her new job and even keeps up the filing. She's an amazing worker and a very good friend. Her story of survival amazes me even today. We've leaned on each other to help in our recovery. She's gotten so much stronger since she got out of the hospital. She even caught the eye of a Merry Man. Her and Les have been dating for a month and both look deeply in love. He treats her like she's made of precious glass.

When he first mentioned to me that he wanted to ask her out, I was worried. I know the person that Les used to be and I didn't want to see Kari hurt, but after watching them together I knew I was wrong to worry. They are good for each other. He gives her the confidence and support that she so desperately needs and she gives him the love that he's always wanted. He hasn't said anything yet, but I suspect a ring for her soon.

Les and I have grown closer, if that was possible. I was worried about him when Carlos and I announced our engagement, but he accepted it with enthusiasm. He even held up his promise to be my man of honor at our wedding last month. He continues to sing at the bar, but now invites all the guys and Kari to watch him. The song he sang for Carlos and I at our wedding, brought me to tears. It was an original piece that he wrote just for us and was absolutely beautiful. I'll never be able to thank him for coming to my apartment that night. He is the reason that I am still alive today.

My real wedding was small and was held at the beach, just the guys from RangeMan and Carlos' family along with my grandma. No one else from my family was invited. My grandma was the one to give me away and cried when we said our vows to one another. It was simple, but it was perfect. I moved into the bat cave after the wedding and I gave my house to Les. He's planning on asking Kari to move in with him next week.

My parents still live in the burg, but their life is far from good. They were shunned by everyone who they called friends. My father lost his part-time cab job and my mother refuses to leave the house. She stays drunk from what I hear. Their once pristine yard is overgrown and the house looks vacated. I haven't seen them since my fake wedding day all those months ago. Carlos offered to ship them to a third world country, and I thought about letting him, but I thought they would be in their own hell right here in Trenton. My grandma refuses to speak to them and doesn't even hang around the burg anymore.

My sister, Valeri, decided that our parents were wrong all those years. She refuses to talk to them or let them see her kids. We are working on building a good relationship, but it's going to take some time. She's been very supportive and seems to really care. I have dinner with her family and grandma every month. It's our own unusual family.

Grandma moved into her own apartment and is loving life. She is able to take weekend trips to Atlantic City and other obscure places. I'll never be able to thank her for giving me the gift that she did. She said the greatest thanks I can give her is just living. I showed her my appreciation for what she did by giving her a part time job at the office. Any skip that is above 80 and a low bond, then Edna Mazure BEA is in charge of picking them up. She told me that it's a good way to meet men. She's currently dating Maxwell Parker, arrested to public nudity. They make quite a pair.

The bonds office is thriving. I took a month off after firing everyone to get people hired and trained before I opened under the new ownership. We've been in business about five months now have turned a profit every one of those. Jason is an amazing BEA and, Kari is an office genius. I don't even really have to be there to run it.

I haven't heard from Connie or Lula. Last I heard, Connie moved to Philly to live with family and Lula was working in the mall. I don't even think about them much anymore. Some times I miss being around the girls. Then I remember all the shit that came with them and I don't miss it anymore. I'm happier without them in my life.

Judge Anderson convinced Joe to plead guilty to the charges and he is serving a life sentence behind bars. I was thankful that there wasn't a trial. I kept my promise to him though. I haven't thought of him one day since I walked out of that church. I really don't care what happens to him.

There was a riot a few months ago and he sustained serious multiple injuries from a gang beating. He spent 3 weeks in the ICU and they weren't sure if he was going to live. He pulled through and is back in prison where he belongs.

I was suspicious of the "riot" because it was the same night that Carlos, Tank, Bobby, and Les all had a guy's night out. They wouldn't tell me where they went or what they did, but they all came back with bruises on their knuckles. I try not to think about it too much, because how they got to him while he was in the custody of the Department of Corrections is beyond me. I do know that they all seemed more at ease after that night. Their beasts were silenced.

Dr. Fisher lost her license. So I guess I shouldn't call her doctor anymore. Oops. She served a short jail sentence, but I really didn't care about that. She won't ever be able to practice medicine again. She won't be able to manipulate innocent people. When my story came out, two other clients from the hospital came forward and confessed she was doing the same to them. It makes me sick to think she has gotten away with doing crap like that for years. She left the state ashamed and embarrassed. Good riddance, I say.

What about me, you say? I am perfect. I have never been happier or healthier. Carlos and I are disgustingly happy. Marriage suits us and we're even talking about babies. We're going to wait a few years, but at least there are discussions about it. We're acting like adults. I shudder when I think that all of this could have been impossible. I could have died a year ago and all of this would not exist right now.

My life took a drastic turn a year ago and because of that I became a better person. It makes me sad when I read stories about people who didn't survive their shattering. The ones who didn't have a friend to rescue them. Those stories break my heart.

Three months after getting out of the hospital, I was sitting at the office with Kari talking about nothing really. I kept running my fingers over the scars on my arms when she mentioned an idea to me. She suggested that I get a tattoo to cover the scars and suddenly I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

I heard about a non-for-profit organization called _To Write Love On Her Arms_. I absolutely love the work they are doing. They are spreading awareness about suicide and self-harm. If you don't know about them, I suggest looking them up. They're doing amazing things. Anyway, thinking about them I realized what I wanted to get on my arms.

I searched the internet and found what I wanted and then Kari and I went to the closest tattoo parlor. I showed the artist who quickly looked at my scarred arms to decide if was possible to work over. He agreed and we got to work. On my left arm, going down over the scar, read "Love Thyself" in Chinese letters. It's absolutely beautiful. The right arm is a little different. It's still Chinese lettering, but it reads "You don't drown by falling in water; you drown by staying there." I fell in some deep water and I almost let myself drown, but with the help of my friends; I learned how to swim and chose to survive.

I was worried what Carlos would think when he saw them, because I didn't really think about it before I jumped in and did it. When I walked into his office later that day with bandages over my arms he jumped up and looked worried. When I removed the bandage and he saw the tattoos, he gently rubbed his finger down both and translated them. I had no clue he could read Chinese, but he did it perfectly. He smiled and hugged me close and told me how proud he was of me. I'm pretty damn proud of myself.

I found a local crisis center that I volunteer in all the time. I even convinced some of the guys to join me. Well, it didn't take much convincing. They all have been great. It surprised me when Hector showed up with Jason one night, I never pictured him as the sensitive type, but he fit right in and did a wonderful job.

It was standing in the middle of the crisis center, surrounded by my friends who were giving up their free time to help people, when I realized just how damn lucky I was. I have a successful business. I have the support of an amazing group of friends. I have a grandmother who loves me unconditionally. She may be kinda crazy, but she's all mine and I'm going to keep her. I also have the love of an amazing man. What more could a girl ask for?

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A/N - To Write Love on Her Arms is an actual movement that I recommend to anyone. Suicide and self-harm hold such a bad stigma that many people are ashamed to admit that they need help. I said from the beginning that this story had a personal connection with me, and it truly does. It breaks my heart to read stories of people's life ending simply because they were too afraid to ask for help. There is no shame in admitting that your weak. I gave Stephanie a HEA, but for many people who deal with depression and suicide, there is no chance at even an EVER AFTER. If my struggles and personal demons that came out with this story has helped anyone, than I am thankful!


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